Đǽđ Ŧïяєđ Update!

Dead Tired

is now up to date!

I’ve gotten enough requests for the end of Dead Tired that I’m posting all of the original chapters now.

To read Dead Tired in it’s original form, simply choose the Sookie POVs from the pages menu in the margin.

For those of you who are enjoying the Alternate POVs, no worries. I’m not giving up on them.

Đǽđ Ŧïяєđ / Đǽđ δєж¥ Update: 3 Chapters in 1 Day!

Sure, I’m lazy, but I’m loyal!

Just kidding. I’ve been working until my fingers are to the nubs. Still having scattered attacks of lameness inflicted by my Cable/Internet ‘pros’.

Why do I call them ‘pros’?

Because I pay them good money to screw me. 8P

Any-whootles…

Here ya go… 3 chapters in one sitting. Hope you enjoy.

Đǽđ Ŧïяєđ

Chapter 29: The Storm Before The Calm

(Sookie’s POV)

Chapter 30: The Storm Before The Calm

(Alcide’s POV)

Đǽđ δєж¥

Chapter 9: Dependent

***

Đǽđ Ŧïяєđ: In case you were wondering…

In case you had any questions about Sookie and Alcide’s baseball jokes, I thought I’d give you the rules of Baseball as a metaphor for sex…

According to UrbanDictionary.com (bored losers like me who go online and define slang because we have nothing better to do) this is the gospel…

  • Going up to bat: Attempting
  • Bullpen: Foreplay
  • 1st base: French kissing
  • 2nd base: Above the waist
  • 3rd base: Below the waist
  • Home Run: Sex
  • Grand Slam: Four times in twelve hours
  • Foul Ball: Ass sex
  • Strike out: Not getting it up
  • Line Drive: One night stand
  • 10 Run Rule: Finishing on your own
  • Pop fly: Stealing virginity
  • Bunt: Pre-mature ejaculation
  • Gapper: Easy lay
  • Bases loaded: Threesome
  • Third base coach: The person who’s filmming
  • Stealing bases: Rape (rape is bad)
  • Double/Triple play: Multiple Orgasms
  • Cup: condom
  • Steroids: Birth control
  • Error: No Orgasm
  • Broken Bat: Broken dick
  • Extra Innings: Four times in a row
  • Bench Warmer: Peeping Tom
  • Bat boy: Fluffer
  • Field: Heartshaped bed
  • Dugout: Back seat of a car

As far as I have heard the above euphamisms hold true, however there is some debate as to the accuracy of the above bases. I called my brother to confirm (since i am old and forget more easily….. oohh squirrell!… where was I… oh yeah) He confirmed that indeed the above is a more ‘outdated’ description.

As we remember it:

1st base= French
2nd base=Feel
3rd base=Finger
home run=Fuck

My brother also asked to be quoted…

I concur… Have a blessed day, unless you’re a yankees fan…

Then you can just shit in your hat.

Kiss kiss