Rubbernecking

Chapter 9

All Shook Up

**

Just as we were leaving the closet, Jason walked in wrapped in a towel.

He took a surprised step back and shook his head. “Sorry y’all… I’m not payin’ attention to nothin’… Sook, I’m sorry. You know I ain’t never called you a bitch in anger. Just jokin’. I don’t know what the fuck is goin’ on, but…”

She countered, “You do too. And you’re not getting out of explaining either… When was the last time you had Pam’s blood?”

“What? Uhhh, guess it’s been a few weeks. Why?”

“How often do you take it?”

“I dunno. Once a month… ish. No schedule. Why you care all a’sudden?”

“Because it crossed our minds that you could be bat-shit crazy.”

“Well, yeah. I’m a Faerie fuckin’ a Vampire. Ain’t nothin’ sane about that… But uh… life would be easier if I was crazy.”

“So your ability doesn’t have anything to do with the fact that I’m pretty sure ‘you’ are in y’alls old apartment, working through the details of having me kidnapped.”

“Kidnapped!?” He brushed past us to storm over to a cabinet. As he yanked on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, he ordered, “You stay here. Ward yourself into the den. When Pam wakes up, tell her I said ‘happy leap year’. I’ll be right back.”

“Leap year? It’s not- JASON STACKHOUSE! You and Pam have both told me that before! What does that mean!?”

“Remember when Quinn showed up and dropped to one knee with a ring in his hand? Remember how you flipped your shit? Pam and me told you there’s worse things than having Quinn show up for a surprise visit.”

“Quinn proposed and tried to kill Alcide just for backing me up when I told him to leave. That was pretty fucking high on the suck-meter.”

He pushed himself up onto the counter and started shoving his feet into a pair of work boots. “From your point of view, I’m sure it is… I think my suck-meter got pegged when my mother tried to whoop my ass for ‘fucking a nasty fanger’.”

“MOM WOULDN’T!”

“Not Mom, Sook. Michelle… And Pam’s meter maxed out when she woke up and couldn’t find me. Found my headstone though. I’ll explain when I get back.”

He jumped down and kissed her cheek on the way past us and Sookie called after him. “Pam’s rising right now, jackass! Just wait.”

“Tell her about what happened. I’ll be right back.”

**

My mood might have returned in the five minutes Sookie and I waited for the ward to allow us into Pam’s bedroom… if it wasn’t for Sookie’s tears.

She refused to explain the reason for them, leaving me to try to figure out if it had been something I’d done or something about her brother’s behavior…

I was actually relieved when Sookie bolted through the doorway to Pam’s room without warning… I’d been trying (and failing miserably) to decide why Sookie was crying and I hadn’t noticed Pam was coming back…

She hopped onto the bed and sniffled, “Pam, Jas says ‘happy leap year’. He’s downstairs right now, dealing with… Pam, he says there’s another you and him running around. Both of them went to Eric with some shit about why we shouldn’t get together.”

Pam mumbled, “What the fuck? Why does that matter? It’s not like you’re going to elope after one fuckathon…”

I offered, “Except that’s exactly how you both made it sound. When I returned to the hotel last night you told me I’d become addicted. Just a few minutes ago, Jason called his sister a selfish bitch and suggested I was going to replace you by bringing Sookie over.”

Pam turned her head, completely devastated to see me standing in the doorframe.

“Eric… I…”

“Your pet was caught thinking that you were hiding something from me… that something about this will make me call you back to me.”

Her jaw and her throat were clenched as she pushed herself to sit up. “We don’t know why this happens.”

“Why what happens?”

She shook her head as she began to cry. “We don’t know… Just… When I rise everything is wrong… like a bad dream… Sometimes it’s alright, just different… but it’s usually annoying or depressing. I thought, at first something was going on, that I was dreaming, maybe because I was bonded to a Faerie. And it’s not like I could ask anyone… When Jason remembered it too, I thought we might have shared a nightmare. Then… then it happened again, but it was here. It happened here and… the staff was confused because they dealt with two different Jasons.”

Sookie asked, “What exactly happens? Jason said something about his headstone.”

Pam sniffled, “That was the first time… I rose and I was in a house I didn’t recognize… with things I didn’t own, but things I would, if that makes any sense… the closet was full of clothes I would have bought… I tried calling everyone, but all I got were error recordings… I drove here and no one recognized me, then to the house in Western Hills and that was abandoned. When I finally tried Bon Temps, Jason was dead. Jason died when he was 10 with Corbett and Michelle… Linda died of cancer a couple of years ago and when…”

Sookie shook her head. “Wait. If everyone was dead, then how the fuck did you find that out?”

Pam’s face contorted and she wailed, “Because your goddamn grandmother is like the most accepting creature on the fucking planet, that’s how. She walked me over to that cemetery and showed me the headstones… explained the car accident that killed Jason, and told me I could probably find you waiting tables at some dump named Merlotte’s. When I asked about Jack and Julie, Gran just got upset… Part of me thought it was a joke, that you’d all put together a hoax… it didn’t really hit me until… Sookie, when you didn’t know who the fuck I was, I could have died. ‘Nothing’ isn’t proof of anything… but you didn’t know who I was. It was miserable…”

“Okay… playing devil’s advocate, did you try to contact Eric?”

Good question. Perhaps I died in the accident with Jason.

“He doesn’t leave a trail, he never has. I didn’t know where the hell to begin trying to look for him. I looked for the companies he used to own when he still lived here, but they’d all been sold. That’s what he always did… I broke into the library in Bon Temps and used their computer… There were a few articles about him. He was in Shreveport, but the only things it mentioned were businesses that were closed that late at night. I found Jack’s wife’s obit, and Lin’s, but she wasn’t married. I found a listing for Jude in New Haven like he never moved back to Louisiana after law school. I spent most of the night trying to find someone… I ended up going back to Merlotte’s and waited for you to get off… You went back with me to the house I rose in. You were sure I had some kind of amnesia. You kept showing me things, trying to jog my memory. We went through everything together, trying to find clues and found a couple of leads I’d need to wait until the next sunset to look into… I went to bed just before dawn and when I opened my eyes a few minutes later, everything was fine. I was where I was supposed to be and Jason was with me and the sun was just setting.”

Sookie shook her head, “Just like that? Like it was a bad dream?”

Pam nodded, but turned back to me. “We hate it, but there doesn’t seem to be a way to fucking stop it… Don’t make me leave him behind, Eric. Please.”

When the fuck had I ever been that Maker?

It was infuriating that it even occurred to her separating them would be my first suggestion. The only thing making her pleading marginally forgivable was that she was hysterical… but then again, her hysteria was based on the unfounded notion I’d deny her.

When the fuck had I ever denied her anything she wanted?

“Have you ever been injured during one of these… episodes?”

She shook her head. “No. Jason’s gotten hit a few times, but I’ve never been harmed.”

“Do you have any objections to bringing him over now to keep it from continuing? Once he’s a Vampire, he won’t be a Faerie any longer.”

She shook her head.

“Good. Consider doing that then.”

I turned to leave, sick of the whole affair and they both called after me…

But it was Sookie who ran after me. Not my child. Sookie.

She put herself in my path, bracing her arms against my chest. “Whoooooa. Settle down. Don’t you think…?”

“What I think is Pam has become such a spoiled brat she wants it both ways… Our relationship never would have been ANYTHING without trust. Not only is she hiding things from me, but she’s clearly decided she has a reason to be afraid of me. Fuck this. Fuck her. Fuck your family…”

Sookie growled, “So help me God, Eric, if you don’t chill the fuck out… You can’t just storm out.”

“Yes I can.”

“Fine. You shouldn’t just storm out. You’ve loved her for 350 years. You can’t just turn that off because of one misunderstanding. Y’all just sorted one thing out and it was huge and festering and y’all both felt better for fixing it. She’s upset. Let her calm down so she can explain.”

“Let her calm down so she can specify what exactly I’ve done to make her come to the conclusion that estranging her from her pet would be my first suggestion?”

She nodded. “Among other things… How about this? She stayed by your side for more than 300 years. She’d die for you. Is it too much trouble for you to wait for an explanation?”

“Guilt won’t work this time. She’s made it clear that her pet is her priority over rational concerns about safety, and trusting me.”

“I wasn’t going for guilt. I was hoping your sense of loyalty would kick in before I threatened to ward you into a fucking corner until you calm down… If you walk out now, you’ll regret it.”

“You don’t know me well enough to be sure of that.”

“Blame Pam. Maybe she’s been sugarcoating all the bedtime stories she tells me about her Maker. It’s possible since all I’ve ever heard about you are good things.”

“She just begged me not to separate them. She clearly had me confused with someone else…”

Pam interrupted, “You’ve always been practical…” I turned in time to see her bite her lip and snivel, “So… painfully… pragmatic… Eric, part of me knows leaving him is the sensible thing, but I can’t… I can’t…”

She was trying to compose herself, holding back so much she was trembling and her chest and throat felt like they would cave in…

I’d never hated anything more.

She shook her head and closed her eyes, but the tears continued to fall. “I am spoiled… I do want it both ways… but not like… I thought about leaving, putting some distance between us… but the only way I could have done that, the only way I could have left them all behind, would have been to go to you… and I didn’t know if I’d be welcome. We were still in limbo… And would you believe this? If I just told you? I’m sure you would have thought I’m mad. It happens to me and I consider it myself…”

“Stop. What makes you think his being a Faerie has anything to do with it? You’ve never manifested with a gift.”

She shook her head ruefully and sighed, “We’ve had company that suggests it’s not me…”

Before Pam could elaborate, the elevator arriving on the penthouse level had our attention… More specifically, the gunshot just before the doors opened and Jason saying, “Uh oh. He wasn’t kiddin’. Guess you better take ‘em somewhere to heal ‘em, huh?”

The door to the apartment was kicked open and we watched in awe as another Pam helped another Jason hobble across the room to the sofa with a bullet wound in his thigh.

That Pam ripped open her wrist and put it to Jason’s mouth while Sookie and I gaped.

Two. There were two of them.

Two Pams.

Two Jasons.

In one place, at the same time.

Two.

While the wounded Jason healed, His Pam shouted, “You’ve lost your fucking mind!”

The gun-wielding Jason shrugged and closed the door. “You don’t know me very well if you think racking a gun is an empty threat. I told you to get your ass into the apartment, didn’t I?”

He’d shot himself to accomplish that?

He continued, “Mind sharing why y’all think it’s your fucking business to tell Eric where he can put his dick? If MY Pam had an issue with it, I’m sure she’da said somethin’ last night.”

The other Pam didn’t bother looking at me. “Fuck him and his little cunt. They could both get staked tonight and I wouldn’t care.”

Evil Jason… and Evil Pam.

My life was much better in the closet. I was tempted to go back.

Jason nodded. “Wow. Can I see ‘em?”

“See what?”

“That set of balls you sure as hell ain’t got in your version. I know damn well you wouldn’t say that to YOUR ERIC. Stop taking shit out on this guy and explain what the fuck you got against your Maker? Be specific, or I’ll shoot him again.”

“What do I have against him? Are you kidding me? He ditched me in this shithole so he could become King and hired some uppity twat to replace me as his second…” Jason’s eyes darted over to My Pam for a moment when he heard the detail I was King, but focused on Evil Pam again. “He only came back to Shreveport because his fucking lawyer’s kid was getting married and he spent the whole visit IN Sookie… She went back to his Kingdom with him and she didn’t come back, like we meant nothing to her… I called to invite him to our wedding, because we want to do it before the Revelation, and he can’t be bothered because he’s too busy with his new child.”

“NEW CHILD!?” Pam, Sookie and I shouted in chorus.

Suggesting I’d bring Sookie over just because I fucked her was ridiculous…

But their contention was I had, indeed, brought Sookie over after just one fuckathon.

Jason argued, “Well that sure as shit ain’t a problem in our version! Y’all stuck around just to be sex police?”

Sookie’s hands shot into the air and she yelled, “Wait!” Once all eyes were on her, she continued, “Their version? You mean like… When this happens, y’all see how your lives could have gone differently?”

Jason nodded. “Yeah. It’s fucking nuts. We thought we were sharing dreams at first, but it’s real… real-real.”

Sookie nodded. “Apparently. Like, bullet wound-real… So if Pam’s still hurt about being left behind and feels replaced by Klaasje… Y’all never worked things out. Did y’all ever have any kind of talk?”

Pam refused to look at Sookie as well and hissed, “I don’t feel replaced by Klaasje… anymore.”

Sookie shook her head. “DO NOT make me think about being turned right now… So you don’t know it was all for you… that he became King because it was the only way to keep Halfdan from ending you as leverage.”

“Bullshit. If that was the reason, he would have said so…”

“Not when he was worried you’d return to him out of guilt for what he had to take on just to keep you safe. He thought you didn’t want to be with him anymore when he left… YOUR fucked up relationship with YOUR Maker is not OUR Pam’s problem. These two hammered out their miscommunication. They were fine until you stood in for her to tell him who he’s allowed to do.”

Seeing the rawness, how angry and bitter she was… seeing how our misunderstanding could have festered… Seeing Pam hate me…

It didn’t matter that she wasn’t really Pam, not MY Pam… I couldn’t fucking stand it.

I offered, “That only changed just last night though… and only because you interfered.”

My Pam, the weepy one, offered, “And she probably wouldn’t have, not as far back as the wedding…”

Sookie sighed, “No. Pam’s right. She didn’t say anything to me about Eric until… it was just before the wedding when she started venting. Until then she was just sharing anecdotal awesomeness… but Klaasje called to confirm y’alls gifts had arrived. She apologized and blamed herself for why you wouldn’t be here for it and promised to try to clear things up ASAP so you could visit soon…”

Klaasje did just that. Klaasje had used every waking moment for months on the initiative, trying to free my schedule for at least a couple of weeks before the Revelation… but Klaasje accepted the blame for my absence, and I doubted they knew why. I’d told my Pam, but if Evil Pam and her Eric weren’t on speaking terms…

Fuck.

I nodded. “Technically, it was her fault. The Revelation was delayed because Klaasje changed our strategy. A blood therapy initiative was her brain-child… One of her pets hemorrhaged during the day, inspiring the idea for positive PR coming of the Revelation. I was in Paris, meeting with Clovis and his Lords on the matter instead of attending the wedding.”

Evil Pam snarled, “Well, la de dah. Thank God for Klaasje… Look, we tried to play nice. We swapped all the other info but we didn’t leap home. We were downstairs when we saw you two leave together… If keeping you from getting together isn’t why we’re stuck here, then why?”

Evil Jason grunted as he sat up. “And don’t think I didn’t see that rock on your finger, Sook. Who the fuck are you steppin’ out on?”

“Oh my God! This is bubby repellant! I bought it to fend off the matchmakers at the slot machines! Is that what you meant by selfish?”

“That… and the fact that you refuse to see your family… you won’t let Eric come to his child’s wedding…”

“NOT ME! I’m not a Vampire… I can’t even make a guess as to why I wouldn’t want to see y’all. I can’t imagine going so long… You know it drove me nuts to be away at school and I had you and Brandon with me… Y’all have some serious shit to work out, but sabotaging their mending wounds is bullshit. That’s selfish. Everything was fine for them until y’all started opening some ugly-ass cans of worms! They almost fought because of this.”

It didn’t escape me that Sookie was so selfish that she was more concerned by the argument Pam and I nearly had, instead of the actual insults they’d made.

Evil Pam left Jason’s side to put herself in Sookie’s face with her fangs down. “Fuck you… At least her Eric is talking to her. I don’t have that luxury…”

Not only did Sookie stand her ground, but she lifted her chin. “I can’t say I blame your Eric for not wanting to listen to your shit… If MY Pam acted like this I wouldn’t have bothered interfering because Eric would be better off without her.”

“You’re still Human, you little bitch. I’ll…”

My Pam threatened, “If you touch her, your time as a Vampire will be extremely abridged.”

Jason punctuated Pam’s threat by pulling the hammer back on his gun. “Right. So… now that everyone’s roles have been defined, let’s work on getting rid of you fucks… Y’all got that Brandon caught Debbie trying to charm Alcide to go back to her… and that Josie and Jessie need a come to Jesus about guys, right?”

Evil Pam hadn’t budged as she hissed, “Yes. We’ll take care of that if we ever get home… Is it too much to ask that you just keep your snatch away from Eric?”

Sookie didn’t break eye contact, but she ignored Pam. “Jas, if I’m getting the gist, something needs to change, like they need to know something or tell y’all about something?”

Her brother nodded. “Yeah. Sometimes we don’t know what the fuck it is, but we go home anyway. Still don’t know ‘bout some.”

“How about the loons downstairs? The bombers.”

Jason nodded. “Shit…that happened after. We left them up here to go to the show and assumed they leapt because they weren’t up here later on… Y’all probably have bombers in the hotel plannin’ to take out a lab doin’ stem-cell research. Sook thinks they’ll be a problem later for Vampires… Since y’all ain’t in contact with Sook, it’s possible you needed her. They’re usin’ biblical aliases. Steve Newlin and Gabe Henry. Bran should be able to find ‘em no problem.”

My Pam groaned, “Fuck me. That’s probably it. Because Sookie needs to have more swagger, her know-everythingness is going to suck company through the Faepire wormhole. Awesome.”

Sookie finally looked away from Evil Pam and giggled, “If that were true wouldn’t they be consumed by a light and fade out or something right about now?”

She shook her head. “It’s not enough like Quantum Leap. The show’s just the only thing I can compare it to… No, they need to lie down like they’re going to rest.”

“That explains that show-binge y’all went on… No Al? No Gushy?”

Pam shook her head. “No. Sadly, no Scott Bakula either.”

Jason joked, “You know, I can hear you and I’m armed… Keep it up and I’ma getcha.”

He already had her… she actually smiled at him.

Jason winked at her and turned to open the door, but Sookie’s hands went up again.

“Wait… Just in case that’s it, just in case Steve Newlin and Gabe Henry are the key to them going back… Have I given any hints or clues… why the fuck wouldn’t I want to see my family?”

The Evils only glared at her as though her request was obscene.

She urged, “Come on… I might be able to help straighten something out… Hell, I might be able to avoid putting them through something accidentally.”

Evil Pam rolled her eyes and huffed, “You went with him for a summit with his Lords. It was all just an excuse to fuck constantly… You were only supposed to be gone for a couple of weeks, but that became a month. You came home for a while, but you went back, for two months that time… Then you left in October and you never came back. Everything was fine as far as we knew, but the night you were supposed to come home, I rose and had a message from Eric that you wouldn’t be coming home. God forbid he give any details… he didn’t say why, and he didn’t answer when I called him.”

As Evil Jason stood, he added, “The first few weeks, we got a bunch of emails… then you had Felix send papers to Jude. You signed over your share of the casino. You had your phone turned off. Eric ran interference. You wrote us all off.”

“There wasn’t a fight or anything? Just like that?”

He nodded. “Just… Like… That… After a few weeks, Pam tried to call Eric to find out what’s what… He told Pam to mind her own fucking business. Me and Bran went out there to try to see you and we got tossed off the property. We went all the way to the Netherlands and we didn’t even get a ‘fuck you’ in person. Bran heard the guards thinking about you being a Vampire when they were hustling us off the property.”

She shook her head. “No.”

He nodded. “That’s how we found out you were turned… Yeah. Fuck all of us. You’ve got Eric. The End.”

“I wouldn’t do that!”

“You did… You aren’t even answering our emails anymore. It’s killin’ Mom, and no matter what, we don’t hear nothin’ back from you. And Eric isn’t answering any of Pam’s calls anymore. We figure one of two things… You forgot to give a shit when you woke up with fangs, or your Maker’s enjoying the Fae blood too much to share you.”

I shook my head. I couldn’t fathom either possibility. I certainly couldn’t think of a reason I wouldn’t give a Pam a reason for the isolation. “Gawain, Edward, Richard, Salome, Simza, Jaro… Have you contacted any of them? The rest of my Lords?”

Evil Pam snapped, “You’ve warned them that you’ll end them if they talk to me. All they’ll tell me is that you’re fine.”

Sookie shook her head again, but instead of continuing to get to the bottom of the mystery of her estrangement, she walked out. She walked out with a posture I hadn’t seen on her… it was as though she was mourning the loss of a family she still had… her empathic brother looked like he was close to crying as she left.

Once the elevator doors closed behind Sookie, Jason turned to the company and tipped his head to the side. “Yeah, that’s awesome. Fuck y’all. I don’t even care if y’all go home. Just don’t come back.”

**

Before they were on the elevator, Jason was behind the bar pouring a tall glass of scotch, and then a second…

When he lifted his third glass, Pam darted over to take the bottle from him.

“This isn’t going to help.”

“Speak for yourself. That… Hon, that fuckin’ broke her. You know she wouldn’t do that. Sookie wouldn’t do that… Something’s wrong.”

“Sookie wouldn’t turn her back on her family any more than Eric would force her to… but they came to us. We can’t do anything without all of the facts.”

His lip curled. “Best part is you cain’t even glamour her to forget this shit. She’s stuck with it… Bran will know by the end of the night…”

I offered, “It’s probably better for both of them to know. It seems like a lot of effort goes into keeping this from them. They could prove to be an asset.”

They both looked at me as though they’d forgotten I was in the room.

Pam offered sheepishly, “We… we want it to stop.”

I sat on a barstool across from them. “Understandable, but since you haven’t found a kill-switch as of yet, you should have allies. Sookie and Brandon seem to be the logical candidates since they share your multi-layered interests.”

I could feel Pam’s shock and Jason’s was all over his face.

Pam offered, “There are versions… so varied… I’m not sure it would help.”

“Explain that.”

She huffed, “Versions where you stayed here as Sheriff, so the hotel has a Daemon manager named Mortimer and we have no clue who the Stackhouses are. There was a version without Sookie because Corbett never reunited with Michelle…”

“And a version where Michelle is still alive?”

Jason shook his head and scoffed, “Bigoted bitch… Yeah. We woke up just in time to keep her from staking Pam. That was the last one we dealt with… a couple months ago. Some flood killed my dad and Sook. Gran died not long after cancer got Aunt Lin. Hadley was in jail for drug possession. My mom raised me. Her and her new husband were stinking up the house, the one my father built with his bare hands, with Natty Ice and Camel Lights and I didn’t know about Bran… Good times.”

Pam nodded. “I think the least miserable version we’ve seen was when we rose as normal. We didn’t know it was happening until we interrupted Sookie and Alcide in flagrante. They became a couple shortly after they met instead of spending any amount of time thinking of each other as cousins.”

Jason nodded towards Pam and joked, “This one’s been trying to talk them into bed together ever since.”

“Their wedding pictures? Was that something you staged because of… whatever this is?”

Jason shook his head. “Naww… Alcide was Jude’s best man. Sook was Hadley’s maid of honor… their ‘wedding pictures’ are on account they caught the bouquet and garter. Got their pic taken together… One of them was overexposed enough that Sook’s peach dress looks ivory and Alcide’s in a tux. That’s all.”

“Have you stumbled upon any realities where Jason has already been brought over?”

Pam shook her head. “No. Why do you ask?”

“I’m curious… You needed to be isolated because of your hearing. I was wondering if the other Sookie might have had a similar complication. Given her telepathy… if that sense is heightened, it’s possible she’s in seclusion.”

The matter of why I’d bring Sookie over was curious, but a moot point.

Pam nodded thoughtfully, but shook her head. “I’d like to think it would occur to me… and wouldn’t you just say as much?”

Fair enough. I certainly wouldn’t have told her to mind her own fucking business.

I was nodding when Jason huffed, “Five months though… Missin’ a Christmas? We ain’t never had any secrets. Sook and Bran have been reading minds from the cradle. She wouldn’t go that long without some kind of contact. She’d be nuts by now. Something’s wrong. Something’s wrong and those two, those assholes, are too busy thinking about hurt feelings to do anything.”

Pam sighed, “Unless there were words. I could have been bitter enough… maybe… What is Klaasje like?”

I shrugged, surprised she finally asked, but sure there was a reason. “She’s efficient, compassionate and loyal. She gives herself little projects to stay busy… As far as her personality goes, she’s very similar to you. She isn’t happy unless she knows everything. Her television addiction is centered on family dramas. Sisters is her latest addiction and I can’t wait for her to exhaust those DVDs. She has a soft spot for animals. My one complaint about her is that she’s hesitant to disagree with me because that was Halfdan’s reason for wanting to end her. She presents contrary opinions as hypothetical situations rather than just saying she thinks it’s a better idea. But even that’s an improvement from her first few years with me.”

When Jason chuckled, she elbowed his side. “What’s funny about that?”

“Nuthin’… ‘cept replace Sisters with South Park and that you always have a better idea and don’t care who hears it…” There was no question… Jason knew Pam well. “I wonder if Sookie told Pam that… I mean, if Sook went out that first time to meet Eric’s Lords, they woulda met, right? That could definitely make her feel replaced, even if Sookie was just saying something so Pam would stop thinking she was replaced… And I seriously doubt Pam ever woulda vented about things to Sook if Sook was already sleepin’ with Eric. You said you didn’t tell me about things because I’d be jaded, that Sook was neutral.”

It was completely bizarre to have someone talk about me as though I wasn’t in the room… because I wasn’t.

Since Pam was trying to pout, I asked, “Are you beginning to believe Sookie’s separation could have started as a slight rift that escalated?”

“Well, we already established Pam’s got a big mouth…”

When Pam gasped, Jason quickly reached over to wrap his arm around her head and cover her mouth… more amusing was that she let him.

He chuckled as he continued, “That’s better… So Sookie goes out for a working-vacation and comes home with a new buddy, the one Eric replaced Pam with. Klaasje the type to be friendly?”

I nodded. “She’s still a midwife for the local pack. Klaasje’s very friendly with the Domina and the guards as well… I could imagine she’d be quite fond of Sookie, but there’s very few people she doesn’t enjoy the company of.”

Jason snorted, “So Sook comes home with a new BFF. Goes back for another visit. Comes back… Pam’s bitter as shit and it’s gettin’ worse… All a’sudden Eric calls and says she ain’t comin’ home. Boom. Pam’s head explodes, her empathic boy-toy is pissed ‘cuz he loves his sister. He projects all their hurt and anger to the family… That ain’t even pretty in my head.”

Pam nodded and mumbled into his hand. “But completely plausible…” When Jason removed his hand, she continued, “And if Jason’s projecting… I’m sure there wasn’t any sort of fallout… Poor Sookie probably just got a barrage of emails until she couldn’t take it anymore… and the landslide crosses the pond because if Sookie’s hurt, Eric’s going to be too. Both of them are so stubborn. Once they write someone off, they’re done… Nice mess you caused, Jason.”

“Me!? You’re the one that got your feelings stuck in your corset and didn’t tell your Maker you miss him.”

She continued their joked argument by pointing at me. “He’s no better. He can’t even spell feelings.”

“Yeah, well, he doesn’t have to. He’s a guy. If we cain’t fuck it, eat it or hunt it, we’re just killin’time…”

Very good point.

“B’sides I’m damn sure he didn’t burn through a box of tissues watching Tarzan. You wear your feelings on Kleenex, so ya got no excuse.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed, “Do we want to go tell them that they need to send an olive branch?”

“You can. I want to shoot that prick too bad.”

I offered, “I’ll do it. I need to check my messages anyway… I want to ask a question first though. Are you considering a wedding or was that a desperate rally for attention on their part?”

Pam cringed, but Jason easily offered, “We talked about it, but it would just be to kinda give that whole experience to my folks, ya know? They get that a bond makes a wedding silly, but it’s in our upbringing and all… We sure as shit wouldn’t try to cram it in before the Revelation ‘cuz Humans are gonna freak out and make it illegal, and annul the earlier ones. If we do it, it’ll be once it’s legal again.”

Fair enough… amusing that Pam would consider it, considering she was rebelling against marriage when I found her, but at least they were rational about the concept rather than starry-eyed.

As I walked towards the door, something occurred to me.

When I turned around, Jason was already wiping a smudge of blood away from Pam’s cheek.

Sweet couple.

“Can Brandon and Sookie run the hotel without your help or is it a four-man job?”

Pam shrugged. “Sookie practically runs this place by herself. Why?”

“Because there are a lot of distractions here. I think our visit would go more smoothly if you came to Eijsden.”