Chapter 36: An Awful Hole

Bored To Death

Chapter 36

An Awful Hole

**

It took very little convincing to get Sookie to come with me to Fangtasia…

Her ultimate reason for going was to see her ‘lucky self’ since my Sookie still had her Gran…

As we pulled up behind Fangtasia, I decided that it was ridiculous for me to be so excited… the ordeal hadn’t gone on terribly long. Only looking for her for a couple of hours didn’t really give me the excuse to feel such illumination, but it didn’t matter since I was going to get her back.

I walked through the back door surprised that Pam wasn’t waiting, but more focused on Sookie…

We walked past my office since it was open and empty and the moment I was in the doorway to the floor, my Sookie launched herself from her barstool (not at all shy about using her new speed) and ran to leap into my arms… Nevermind the gawking onlookers or the strange look I’d caught Pam giving me… I enjoyed every second of my Sookie’s excited and grateful kiss that went on until she ran out of air… And when she laced her fingers into my hand, I felt her ring between my fingers…

She panted, “I’ve been going nuts… I thought I was going to have to put your picture on a billboard.”

“I was thinking I’d have to place ‘lost pet’ signs on telephone poles.”

She buried her face against my neck and giggled. “I missed you… and that guy sucks.”

“I missed you too. What guy?”

She only pulled away enough to point over to ‘my’ seat on the stage where I was sitting… and staring at us. I suppose it would make sense for there to be another me if there were two Sookies… but that would imply that anything about the evening made sense.

I gave ‘myself’ a nod towards the office and as we walked back my Sookie was attached to my side like a barnacle.

**

I watched myself sit behind the desk wordlessly and I closed the door once the other Sookie was in the room with us. They both stared at us in a trance, but neither of us could care at the moment.

“What happened?”

My Sookie shook her head. “I don’t know. I woke up and you weren’t in bed, but when I saw how late it was I just figured that yesterday had just worn me out. I went upstairs to find everybody and the house was empty. Since I was just in my robe I ran downstairs to get dressed and grab my phone… my clothes were gone. My phone was gone… it was like I’d never been over… I had to get some cash out of the safe because I couldn’t find my purse and walk to call a cab because none of our cars were there. I had to wear one of your t-shirts as a dress and then borrow from Ginger’s locker. I’ve spent the last couple of hours trying to figure out what the hell is going on and that guy didn’t mind at all when I kissed him, but he was no freaking help. He got here about 20 minutes ago and I’ve decided that I really don’t like it when you’re confused. Now you.”

“I woke up and you were gone. Everything was gone. All I knew was that I needed to get to Bon Temps… I’ve spent a while now trying to convince the wrong Sookie that I’m not insane or trying to con her into bed.”

Sookie giggled and finally looked behind her only to be startled by injuries. “Oh my God! What happened?”

The other Sookie grimaced. “Rene Lanier came after me.”

My Sookie looked up at me, confused. “But we…”

I interrupted, shaking my head. “Not ‘here’… Rene wasn’t caught until after he killed Adele and nearly killed this Sookie.”

“He killed Gran?”

I nodded. “I’m afraid so… She still didn’t know about Bill either. He still hadn’t told her about the effects of vampire blood.”

My Sookie gasped and opened her mouth to say something, but began making a disgusted face… “You’re sleeping with Bill!?” She mocked a gag that made me and the other me laugh.

“You read my mind? My shields…”

My Sookie snorted at her. “Yeah well, I’m bonded to a BAMF vampire. My telepathy is stronger now. My shields too. If you’re with Bill why didn’t he heal your injuries?”

The other Sookie shrugged.

My Sookie shook her head. “That prick… When we get back, I’m calling Andre and telling him to stake Bill. I can’t believe… I guess since he’d already healed her because of the Rattray’s attack, he’d already gotten his blood in her and didn’t see the point in fixing her up the second time?”

I nodded, planning to agree with her that her assumption was most likely right, but the other me finally broke into the conversation. “You know Andre?”

“Yeah, numb nuts. I tried telling you that. Hadley is my cousin so he’s kinda family. He’s had Bill and Lorena strung up in his Little Shop of Horrors for a while now…” She looked up at me and huffed. “He’s a pain.”

“He doesn’t have any more idea about what’s going on than we do. That Sookie thinks that I’m only interested in her ability.”

“Pfffft! Thanks to Bill, no doubt… Oh shit! Eric, we need to call Sophie-Ann! She needs to be warned about Threadgill ASAP… and Waldo… he could get to Hadley.”

“The problem would be convincing her since our timeline, our understanding of things is askew.”

She whined and stomped her feet. “I wanna go home. I’m worried about Gran… What if time is normal for them… they could be freaking out. Pam would think we’re dead.”

“I know. We’ll have to figure things out.”

“Considering why Sophie-Ann sent Bill in the first place, he’s a goner for letting Gran get murdered.”

The other Sookie broke in, “That wasn’t Bill’s fault though… Rene was after me and I wasn’t home.”

My Sookie shook her head. “Because of the way things worked out, Eric protected us. Bill should’ve known to get you out of harm’s way but because he intends to control you and your ability he gave two shits about her safety. We’re the same people as far as I can tell. Everything is the same up until the night we came to Fangtasia for the first time. You’re sleeping with an asshole… He’s capable of a lot of things you don’t realize.”

“Like what?”

“He glamoured and kidnapped Jason and fed from him. He got far enough into his plan to turn me so that he could control my ability that he actually dug the hole. He lined things up to have me abducted. He’s a monster.”

“You could be the one that’s snowed though. Bill says that Eric takes what he wants and kills anyone in his way.”

My Sookie laughed at her. “Yeah… He tried that with me too. Let me ask you something though… Two Sookies… one is with Eric. One is with Bill… which one of us is covered in bruises? Which one of us just buried our Gran? Thinking that you needed Bill to protect you from Eric is the biggest mistake you could’ve made. You don’t have to worry about it for long though. I just hope you aren’t too attached to that knob.”

“What do you mean?”

“Bill betrayed his queen by turning a family errand into a capitalist venture. He’s screwed the pooch big.”

“They’ll kill him?”

“If he’s lucky.”

The other Sookie started to get misty eyed while mine seemed to have no sympathy for her.

**

When there was a knock on the door, my Sookie snickered and opened it to smile at Pam. “Hey Pam.”

“Sookies… Uh… Erics… Someone is here to see you.”

Sookie giggled at her. “There isn’t another you here, is there?”

“You should be so lucky. Bill Compton is here.”

The other me groaned (as I would’ve) for her to bring him back and my Sookie swatted Pam’s ass when she turned to leave. “Hey Pam.”

“Yes?”

“There’s a guy in booth 3 planning to roofie a girl at the bar. You should get on that so you don’t miss out on eavesdropping.”

Pam showed her sinister smile as she left and purred, “Thank you, Sookie.”

Sookie smiled at me. “Nice to see some things are constant.”

“That’s not the only thing. That Sookie is obstinate too.”

Sookie faked a surprised look. “And both of you get handsy when I nibble your lip.”

“Oh really? Just how far did you go to convince him that you were his?”

“Not far… You got more on our first date.”

“You had sex with me on our first date.” The other Sookie’s eyes widened at the news that another her would yield to me so quickly even though it hadn’t taken much effort for me to catch her interest earlier.

My Sookie smirked at me. “Like I said, you got more…”

Pam’s ostentatious return broke up our conversation and no sooner than Bill showed his surprise at who was in the room (in duplicate) Sookie took the stapler from the desk and hurled it at his face… Blood exploded from his mouth while the rest of us laughed at him. It was priceless.

When his surprise had waned, he showed his fangs to my Sookie and true to form she took a step closer to him. “What? Do something.”

He glared at her and foolishly took a step in her direction. Without hesitation, she lifted her arm and delivered a backhanded slap that left the imprint of her ring on his cheek. She’d hit him hard enough to move him, but since Pam had grabbed him, he we wasn’t going anywhere. “Eric, can I use your phone?”

He gave her a puzzled look and pushed the desk phone over to the edge of the desk. “By all means… I certainly don’t want to piss you off.”

She giggled on her way to grab the receiver. “You sure don’t… I’m not any good at fighting. I just act like a brat… Ask him.” When she pointed in my direction I wholeheartedly agreed with a nod so she stuck her tongue out at me while she dialed.

**

I was puzzled for a moment as to who she’d be calling until I heard an all too familiar voice answer. “Hello. Who’s this?” She’d called Hadley.

“Hadley, it’s Sookie.”

“Sook? Really? How’d you get this number?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I’m going to call you again real soon because I’m dying to catch up with you, but right now, I need to talk to Sophie-Ann.”

“How did you…?”

“It’s really important. Please.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah… hold on.”

The up-to-something sparkle in Sookie’s eye was enthralling, even as she leaned against the desk and sent a silent ‘fuck you’ in Bill’s direction.

“Hello.”

“Majesty, it’s Sookie Stackhouse.”

“Hadley informed me of that. What can I do for you?”

“I think I can do more for you than you can do for me. I’d like for you to call Bill Compton off and leave me in the protection of my sheriff.”

“I understood that you are Compton’s willingly.”

“I was Compton’s by deceit. He had me attacked so that he could stage my recue and force me to take his blood… I have faith that my sheriff is more than capable of seeing to my safety and he’s more than fit to negotiate my terms for working for you. I want Bill Compton removed from Louisiana and banned from contacting me and what little bit of family I have left as part of my contract. His scheming allowed my grandmother to be murdered and I was nearly beaten to death in the process.” When the other Sookie opened her mouth to argue, Sookie snapped her fingers at Pam who quickly found her way over to gently hush her. Impressive considering that Pam hadn’t already become friends with Sookie.

“Why would I want you to work for me?”

“Because I can read minds. Because I can identify different supes by their brain signature. Because I have information that can save your life. I heard the thoughts of a patron at Fangtasia tonight. He’s a spy of Threadgill’s. You need to reconsider the marriage.”

“I’m sure you realize I need to know the specifics of that… Why is it that your sheriff didn’t just end him?”

She giggled. “You know Eric… dirtbag or not, Bill was here on your orders. Eric wouldn’t cross you.” I smiled because she was too easy to be proud of… The other me smiled out of pure shock.

“Do you mind if I ask how you knew to contact your cousin?”

“I mentioned when Gran died that all I had left was Jason… since I didn’t know what ever happened to Hadley… Eric made the connection as soon as Bill blamed his behavior on you.” Bill’s mouth dropped open and since he seemed to be about to say something, I saved Sookie the trouble and punched him myself.

“Northman, I assume you’re listening.” I cued the other me by pointing to him.

“Yes, Majesty?”

“Hold him until I can send flowers. I’ll call tomorrow night about your travel arrangements.” I chuckled at the look on Bill’s face when he became aware of his fate… Diantha and Gladiola weren’t going to be delivering anything he’d enjoy.

“Yes, Majesty. Thank you.”

**

“Done…” My Sookie gave an evil little giggle as she came over to wrap her arms around my side. “How was that?”

Spectacular. We should bring everyone up to speed so that they know how to handle their trip to New Orleans and we still need to figure out how to get back to our life.”

“Hmmmmm. How about I take me out to the bar and grab a couple of drinks. She’s going to need one with the explanation.”

“You’re going to try to explain it to her in public?”

She grinned at me and the other Sookie began giggling.

“Damn telepaths. Go on then.”

She kissed my cheek and left the room, holding the other Sookie’s hand.

Pam quickly snatched Bill’s arm to take him ‘elsewhere’ leaving me alone… with myself. It took us about 20 minutes to get through the outline of my recent weeks and it only took that long because he had extra Sookie related questions. We were doing nothing more than waiting for the Sookies to join us when there was a knock on the office door…

When the other me answered, a waitress entered the room to deliver a note… He started laughing and held it out to me.

My Sookie had written, “Save me. She’s impossible. Yes, I know that I’m like this too and I’m sorry.”

I replied on the back of the note, “What’s it worth to you?”

It was a chore to wait for her reply, but when the waitress came back she handed a napkin to me… I could smell her before it was unfolded…

Sitting in the center of the napkin was a heart shaped smudge of blood and all I could do was growl, but the other me was curious enough so I tossed the napkin to him.

His nostrils flared before he spoke. “That Sookie is a keeper.”

I laughed at him. “She’s more than that. If yours comes to her senses you’ll understand quickly that the idea of sunbathing is preferable to her funeral. She’s what I’ve been waiting for.”

He stared at me, disbelieving. I was sure that it was because he hadn’t had the opportunity to spend any amount of time with the Sookie he knew, but he’d learn.

It was me that finally told the waitress to inform Sookie that we were ready whenever they were.

**

While the other Sookie took the chair next to mine, my Sookie entered the office to flop back onto the couch and growled as she rested her arm over her eyes. “Remind me to kick your ass… Your blood has ruined me.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “How’s that?”

“My shields are on steroids. It took a huge effort to lower them enough for her to hear my thoughts and then of course I realized exactly how miserable I’d be at work every night without them… those people are nuts.”

“I told you. You don’t have to be a mind reader to realize there’s something very wrong with most of them. I can’t wait for the popularity to die down so I can use a ‘bottom line’ as an excuse to shut down.”

She giggled into the crook of her arm. “You’re just waiting for the ‘Were Revolution’, aren’t you?” Vampires would be forgotten for the new ‘fur trend’ within a month and I’d be free to nail the doors shut.

You bet that delicious ass of yours. I’ve thought of burning Fangtasia down more than ‘the church’ has.” The other me agreed with a nod.

The other Sookie snarked, “But then where will you go to have Fangbangers throw themselves at you?”

Both of me had our mouths open to respond, but my Sookie beat us to it. “BITCH, please!… You’d be a liar to say you’d rather eat a Happy Meal from the floor than one of Gran’s Sunday dinners… Those bitches out there are just nasty. Junk food. Since I’ve had plenty of Eric’s blood and put in so much time here, I can tell you that most of them smell like filth and the sadder ones don’t care if they’re the last one picked as long as they’re picked. They want to be with them because they’re vampires like some guys want to be with a girl just because she has big boobs… For the record, you’re being a bitch to Eric based on the same assumption you’re accusing him of. You think he wants you for what you are and what you can do for him AND throwing it in his face that he’s surrounded by sycophants who actually do just want to be with him for what he is… My Eric, we need to go home… I don’t like this me.”

It took the other Sookie a moment to collect herself… My Sookie had definitely hurt her. “The first thing he did when he found out about my disability was use his power over Bill to have me read minds for him.”

She snorted and got up to come sit on my knee, glaring at herself the whole way… “You forget that I can read your mind… He was flirting with you before your ass hit the chair on the stage and he used Bruce’s call as an excuse to see you again. Damn, you’re dense… Having a telepathic pet sucks ass more than it pays off. Eric spends a couple hours a night dealing with emails and voicemails about me. He’s had to hire a guard for me. He closed Fangtasia down for the week when we were in New Orleans… and we don’t ever have enough time alone together.”

“You can’t read his mind though. You don’t know what he’s thinking.”

“Bond aside you’re still wrong… He’s usually pretty sarcastic… and you’re asking for it… I know you heard him! I freaked out a little the first time I heard mine too, but you didn’t hear a reason to be scared of him. If anything it should tell you A LOT about him if you stop being a pious brat!”

The other me ‘cleared his throat’. “What did you hear?”

My Sookie answered for her, “When you agreed to turn in the thief instead of kill him, she heard you thinking about keeping business ‘aboveboard’…”

The other Sookie finished, “And that you could make me do what you wanted anyway!”

My Sookie fired back, “Anyone could. Anyone without any bit of integrity could’ve threatened Gran to get you to do what they want. He didn’t and it cost him a fortune to save your life…”

“A fortune?”

“Yeah. With Long Shadow dead, how does he get the money back… and then there’s the restitution he had to pay to Long Shadow’s maker and that’s not to say that Hot Rain will accept it and not come back at him for revenge… You’ve got a lot to learn. Bill screwed you out of a lot of information, but that’s not Eric’s fault.”

“I guess Bill…”

“No. Stop that. It’s not the telepathy. It’s not Bill. It’s not Gran or Sam or Jason or the queen… You didn’t have to be an idiot, you did that on your own. We’re the same damn person and I’m in love with the guy you’re terrified to have a civil conversation with. I’ve never been happier. You’ve never been more miserable. Fix it instead of whining about it, damn Disney Princess.”

“Disney princess!? You… I can’t believe you… That’s not fair!”

I was too interested in how she could be insulted to stay out of it. “What’s this?”

“Pam has a thing for cartoons so you’ve seen a few of the movies, right?”

“Sadly.”

“It’s a thing Gran pointed out. It got to be a joke… Name a Disney princess and I can tell you how she had to have someone else fix her screwed up life… They never really take care of anything on their own. Don’t ever mention Cinderella to Gran either. Sore spot.”

“Why would that be a sore spot?”

“That’s her ‘favorite’ one… Gran says Cinderella deserved to mop every floor because she was too stupid to walk away from her horrible step mother.”

“Alright, I’ll play. Cinderella didn’t have anywhere to go.”

“She could have gotten a job cleaning for someone else and made her own way instead of doing it for free.”

“Is that anything like waiting tables and mind re…” She moved quickly to turn around and clamp her hand over my mouth with a playful smile on her face.

“If you finish that, I’ll get you.”

I laughed into her hand and nodded and when she released me, she poked my ribs before settling back against me again.

The other Sookie seemed to want to ignore her alter ego. “So… since you seem to know everything, do you know why we’re a telepath? I mean, it’d be nice to know why I’m stuck like this.”

My Sookie started shaking her head, but I wasn’t about to lie even if I still hadn’t thought of a perfect way to explain yet. I tapped Sookie’s shoulder to get her attention. “I know… Well, I know something.”

She tilted her head and seemed to just be waiting.

“Hadley explained partially because she doesn’t know much. I was hoping to learn more, but as it turns out Andre tasted it in her right away. They’ve done research on their end, but can’t place how you’re related or to whom, just that you’re part Faerie and it didn’t come from Adele.”

The other Sookie became outraged. “You knew and didn’t say anything to her! You hid it?”

“You both know every bit of what I know now which is why I was hoping to learn more before trying to explain. Hadley told me the night before we left New Orleans and we’ve been more than a little distracted since then.”

“What could you possibly be so distracted by that you couldn’t solve the question…”

“Sookie… you need to understand that my Sookie has come to terms with her gift. She’s now on a different page as you are since you’ve both had very different things happen over the last couple of weeks. She’s no longer looking for something to ‘blame’. Had a Fae relation come forward there would have been no hesitation. I wasn’t hiding it, just hoping to give her more than an answer that just produced more questions.”

My Sookie turned to the other her. “He’s right. Now I’ll… we both will go batty trying to figure the rest of that crap out. We were better off not knowing. And trust me when I say we have been more than distracted. We’ve had a ‘drama dinner rush’ over the last week.”

That time, she seemed to absorb the information. “Andre tasted it… You didn’t? I mean… I don’t get it… are all fairies telepaths?”

“No… and there’s another reason to not mention it… it’s entirely possible for Hadley to be Fae through her father’s side since the queen couldn’t find anything… As for taste, you taste different, but not like Fae… You taste of human with something indistinct to it. I’ve never tasted Fae that was diluted to less than half, so I couldn’t describe what it’s like when it’s more human.”

“You know what Fae tastes like… you know where to find one? We could ask…”

I shook my head. “Fae don’t donate… vampires tend to get a little carried away. Their smell is intoxicating to us so they wisely keep their distance.”

My Sookie craned her neck to kiss mine. “They don’t by chance smell like sunlight, do they?”

“No. I’d have made the connection if that were the case.”

She grinned at me. “So when you say ‘carried away’, do you mean broken keyboard type of stuff or more like what Mrs. Fortenberry did to that poundcake?”

I cringed at the memory of the beastly woman’s eating habits at the DGD meeting… “The poundcake. It didn’t have a chance.”

She reached back to guide my arms around her and rest hers on top of them. She began tickling her fingers over the backs of my hands while she thought… “So… all we really know is that Hadley is confirmed part Fae, but not necessarily me or Jason.”

“Yes.”

“I caught Paulette thinking about me once you finally told her… she was thinking that telepathy was something she only heard about witches having… but it still makes me kick the dust off the old question of how Jason ended up with nothing.”

“I’m not sure he did come up empty though. I think that since you and Adele are so habitual about ignoring what an idiot he can be, you don’t notice how sharp his instincts are…”

“The drainer in the club and the hiring process?”

“Among other things… Adele describes him as lazy and I’m not disputing that, but when he does apply himself he doesn’t disappoint.”

She huffed but started to giggle… “Is it wrong that I think it’ll be hilarious if we find out it came from my mom’s side of the family?” Even the other Sookie laughed at how ironic it would be. “You know… We’re going to see Andre tomorrow night when they bring Hunter… well if we’re home.” I knew what she was getting at…

“No.”

“It’s not an exciting prospect for me either, but he’s pretty much all we have to go on.”

“No.”

“I don’t want to feed him… just a finger prick…”

“No. Letting him taste you is not something that’s going to happen. If he knows the flavor enough to be able to identify it when it’s so diluted that I can’t taste it, he could most likely develop a craving for you. No.”

“Are you sure? It could be the only way for us to find out.”

“Positive.”

“Well… I guess it doesn’t matter.”

I saw her mouth open and knew ‘it’ was coming… “What do you mean ‘it doesn’t matter’!? You don’t want to know?”

My Sookie snickered, “Knowing how I’m a telepath doesn’t change that I’m a telepath.”

**

The significant change in my Sookie was becoming more and more apparent as they continued their bickering. All I could do was appreciate what I had… Not that Sookie had ever been a nuisance… what few small complaints I’d had about her were just that, small… The most significant of them had been filed down remarkably quickly by comparison. It was almost as though I was looking at a before and after.

The other Sookie did have an excuse to be cynical to an extent considering that Bill Compton had betrayed her more severely than he had mine and the loss of Adele wouldn’t have helped matters, but I was very grateful for what was in my lap…

I was more than relieved when the other me offered to return ‘his’ Sookie to Bon Temps so that they could discuss their pending trip to New Orleans and we could attempt to solve our predicament…

We stopped just long enough for Sookie to eat something since food had been the last thing on her mind when she awoke alone.

Walking into ‘my’ house provided an unusually eerie feeling… It took a moment, but I finally came to the consciousness that my house had been nothing more than a resting place until Sookie and Adele made it a home… It was probably best that ‘my’ Pam wasn’t around to make fun of my melancholy over the idea.

The bed didn’t even feel ‘right’… The room was void of any proof that anyone but me had been there since it had been installed so there certainly weren’t any traces of Sookie… they made the bed all the more welcoming…

As it was, the room was no more homey than a hotel.

The only thing that helped was that Sookie unwaveringly became part of my side and we laid together at a loss for what seemed like days… Without anything to go on, there wasn’t much to say.

“I don’t like not feeling you.”

She tightened her arm around me. “Tell me about it… We did ok though… even though we didn’t have the bond.”

“I have no idea of how to get back…”

“How could you possibly? We have no idea what got us here.”

“This is probably the strangest thing I’ve ever come across… and I’m sure that if someone told me that this was happening to them I’d laugh in their face.”

“Then you’re doing better than I am.”

“You’re scared?”

“Well that…”

Sookie stopped herself when we both heard footsteps descending the stairs…

There was a light rap on the door and for a moment I was sure that it was the other me even though he’d be in Bon Temps by now…

Instead, it was Pam.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

Sookie looked over her shoulder. “It’s ok, we were just talking. What’s up?”

“Well, Gran’s worried since you never came upstairs today.”

NEXT>>

101 thoughts on “Chapter 36: An Awful Hole

  1. bless you!
    the resolution of the confusing cliffhanger in less than a day- awesome speed authoring skills.
    love how his sookie just jumps in and fixes the alter world’s issues.
    I absolutely adore this story! Thank you!!!

  2. Fantastic! Does this mean that the entire episode was some magical (or other) means for alternate Sookie to learn some harsh truths about herself before any more of the horrible things happen to her? I can’t wait to see what conclusions our Eric and Sookie come to.

    Wait…could their having been out of sync during their shared feeding/sex have caused them to be temporarily out of sync with their reality some how?

    Ugh, nevermind! I happily await your next update!

  3. I had a feeling BTD!Sookie wasn’t going to like and be frustrated SVM!Sookie. I thought it was hilarious that SVM!Eric had no problems going with the flow when BTD!Sookie started kissing him, ever the opportunist! Them all meeting really showed how utterly “Eeyore” SVM!Sookie could be compared to BTD!Sookie and also highlighting just how much Bill poisoned her against Eric.

    *breathes a sigh of relief* I’m just soooo happy they’re back in their universe where everything is better and makes sense.

  4. wow wow WOW!! What is going on now!!!!! You are sending me into a talespin! Can’t wait for more….excellent excellent!!!!

  5. OMG. Wow. I just LOVE this story. That last chapter freaked me. This one was fine since Eric & Sookie were together, not to mention it was hilarious!!!!!!!! Thanks so much for the update, I was dying after that last one, so confused. So I’m happy now – fascinating. You rock!

  6. Whoa…….! Holy cow! That was, oh my gosh awesome. Sneaky devil you are! So, my guess is joint hallucination during blackout time. Am I right? I’m right, right? Am I right?

  7. Sweet mother of Gouda. you’re so spectacularly twisty with the plot bits. I love that BTD Sookie gave SVM Sookie a kick in the ass – she needed it like whoa. I hope their intervention for the SVM crew did some good 🙂 I can’t wait to find out what is going on! you’re so awesome bb thank you so much for sharing 🙂 *brain lix*

  8. Another great installment!!!! So happy at how quick it was, though I’m still on the edge of my seat… They are back now??? So was t like a sneak peak of how things would have been so that they know what they have and appreciate it more.. or maybe more like fixing the other Sookie/Eric couple before it got too far outta hand (I thin I like that one better) 🙂
    Can’t wait for the next one!! Love it!!!

  9. Okay, so, I KNEW that “other Sookie” was all kinds of naive and annoying, but didn’t really fathom just how much until I read this. Love it!!!

  10. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I was going nutz waiting 2 see how you were going 2 write this chapter. I had 2 go back & reread from the start 2 keep my sanity. Was so glad 2 get that bing this evening. :* luv ya

  11. OMG, I loved how Your Cool Rocking Sookie handed Ch Sookie her ass on a plate!! And Bill!! Oh my work, Loved how your rocking Sookie told Bill and called the queen!! It was too Funny! I wish you would have wrote more about Erics questions to Eric in the office, I beat that would have been entertaining,funny and intersting conversation!

  12. Hahahahaha! This is so freaking twisted! It’s awesome. I’m loving it. Can’t wait to see what happens next. I can’t even speculate about what is going on, I’ll just enjoy reading the next chapter!

  13. Now they’re back in their own world? Are their clothes back in their closets? Was it only to knock some sense into CH’s Sookie? What does it all mean?

  14. Incredible chapter, you are awesome for updating so quickly!! I loved the way BTD Sookie was so in control of things and really just showed up how lost the other Sookie is!! Bill really did a number on her!! That both Ericsson are so similar is great too, nothing fazes a Viking!! Great two chapters, amazing mind you have to think of all this!!

  15. Fantastic chapter! I can’t wait for more and to see how it all plays out. This story just keeps me on my toes and its wonderful!

  16. Once again highlighting how naive SVM Sookie is…. I’m glad BTD E&S seem to be home, but WTF happened? LOL. Thanks for being so fuckawesome quick with the updates!

  17. Well this is confusing as can be. I’m really glad that you’ve posted another chapter so quickly. Even though it’s confusing I like the fact that real Sookie and other world Sookie get to meet and see the vast difference between them. I can’t wait to read the next chapter to find out more about what’s going on.

  18. OMG! What a crackup! Their bed is a portal? I knew it transported them to another plane when they had sex, but I didn’t realize it would transport them into a parallel universe…

    So much for you meeting your twin in another time screwing with history… LOL BTD!Sookie just blew history away!

    I was wondering if once Pam came down and talked to them, if Sookie’s clothes would be back in the closet…I’m sure they are now, it just struck me funny.

    And I was imagining that it was late enough for them to be getting ready for bed. I can imagine that Sookie is flying up the stairs to hug Gran and to appreciate her even more.

    Sookie has to be thrilled at the decisions she’s made – like trusting Eric enough to move Adele and herself in with him, after seeing what happened to the other Sookie.

    I am looking forward to reading the next chapters, as usual. I am eager to find out the explanation for the happenings.

    Hope you are feeling well as you come to term. I know how uncomfortable the last months are. May you and all your family enjoy the upcoming holidays!

  19. Haha! Lurved the Sookies battling it out! New Sookie & old Sookie are definitely two very different creatures.

    And now new Pam & Adele are back. Stranger & stranger. Does that mean Eric & Sookie are back to their own timeline? Did they just get shoved into the other one to right everything or are the timelines still overlapping?

    So many questions!!!!

  20. OMG thank you for not prolonging them getting back together. Now I can stop being all emo about it 😉 I too also loved the Sookie showdown 🙂 BTD Eric & Sookie say that they don’t know how to get the bond back. Can’t they just start all over again…3 blood exchanges? Is this AU a temp thing or will it be ongoing? Could all this drama be because of Hallow by any chance? Thanks again for ending this misery and as always I can’t wait to read the next chapter 😀

  21. Wow!!! OMG!!! This is all too surreal!!! I hope when they wake again it is all back to normal!!! This is entirely too freaky!!! When I read 35, ( sorry I did not post). I stopped and went back to 34 to see what I forgot!!! Let’s get them back together with themselves. Uber freaky!!!
    Update soon plz….

  22. Fabulous. I hope once we get the explanation for what happened that we get a dip in to the other Sookie/Eric’s world to see how they have progressed.

  23. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
    I love that Sookie hit Bill with a stapler. That made me literally laugh out loud. You win my favorite person of the week award!

    … more please?

  24. The ‘Sookie Showdown’ was priceless! I loved ‘2 Sookie’s, one with Eric, one with Bill…which one is covered in bruises!!’ THAT pretty much says it all!

    Wow, BTD Sookie has GOT to be ecstatic with her life now getting a glimpse of what it could be. Spot on calling her a Disney Princess-that is EXACTLY the Sookie that CH created, always looking to blame someone else for what is wrong with her life, looking for someone else to fix it & someone to swoop in and “save” her from the messes she makes of her life & everything else. OMG-I can’t believe I never made that connection before. You are a genius!

    I’m just confused & wondering what happened & how they are going to fix this mess & if it will have any impact when things go back to ‘normal’. I was soooo afraid (still am a bit) that you were going to pull a ‘it was all a dream’ on us, as if all the wonderful BTD meeting, Eric/Sookie pairing & happenings never occurred & we’d be left with the crap of CH Sookieville. Please please deliver us back to the world of Sookie & Eric & Pam & Gran & Jason that we love! 😉

    • I agree with everything sexyswede said, so I don’t have to repeat it. If it has to be a dream, I sure hope CH’s “Sookieville”is the dream, because the BTD folks are so happy. Maybe it’s connected to the way they black out when they share blood? They go to a different dimension? Where the othes exist?
      You’ve not only taken what we write FF for, to have the situations work out in a different way than the books, but you actually got your Sookie to go off on Ch’s Sookie for believing Bill against her own eyes & ears.
      And “DIsney Princess” is wonderful!

      Rec book: The Paperbag Princess! Teach your girls NOT to be Disneys.

  25. Forgot to mention something – with 2 Eric’s in one room –
    how in the hell did Fangtasia not spontaneously combust?!

  26. Just pure AWESOMENESS!!! Great chapter, amazingly fast update….i can’t wait to see what happened and how they ended up in the AU. Thanks for writing!

  27. Thank you so much for the quick update. you put us out of our misery. Love the conversations between BTD/SVM Sookie’s. Really shows how really naive she is in the books. pure win!!! Can’t wait to see if it’s the witches or a pass out twilight zone sex freak out!!!

    Can’t wait for more

  28. This was such a brilliant chapter. I love the entire concept of them going to the other universe to see what happened there. Can’t help but feel that part of it was to give them an appreciation for their life as it is by seeing how screwed up it could have been. Your Sookie’s smack down of her AU counterpart was brilliant. Makes me wish someone could have knocked sense into CH’s Sookie but we can’t have everything. Keep up the good work.

  29. I am so hoping they are really back to their own universe since it is so much better than the ch version. Of course I’m still wondering how it all happened and what it means for them. loved the Disney princess reference, and the smack down between the two Sookies. great chapter.

  30. Ok so we got some answers but I have even more questions now. How did they get Pam (and Adele) back. Are they in their own world, and if so what about the other version of them. I think it’s hysterical that Sookie couldn’t stand the alternate version of herself. even more so that the other Eric said little, just seemed to observe. That seems like a key Eric point, gathering info so he can use it to his best advantage. I love that Sookie and Eric will have a new appreciation for each other (as if they didn’t love each other enough already) after seeing the alternative.

  31. OMFG!!!!! This was awesome!!!!! It felt like I was in a teniss match between CH´s Sookie and yours!!!!
    You should find a way to send this to CH,maybe this way she´d change Sookie´s character a little bit,cauze,really,she´s just annoying….
    Thanks for posting again so soon,and please take care.
    Did you recieved the little banner I sent you?

    • Ummm…
      No…
      No banner…
      And for the record, my whole family is making fun of me for cussing and griping while i searched through all of my email accounts and twittter and tumblr and facebook…
      for a banner.
      Hubs called me ‘Smeegle’.
      I’ll get him later… lol
      How did you send it to me?

  32. HAHAHAHA! Not only are you a fuck awesome writer with a brilliant imagination and wicked fun sense of humor, but you just dropped an alt time line in a very popular story and have let it play for two chapters. I don’t know what it has to do with overall plot of the story or if it was just Eric and Sookie getting wild in bed… or if it will just end up one of those mysteries of life. It doesn’t matter, Eric and Sookie are together and it was absolutely a lot of amazing fun. …Maybe you were reading another fan fiction and felt the desire to bitch slap the Sookie in that story and decided to send your BTD!Sookie over to that alt reality to attempt to calibrate the bitch out of her… and Bill.

    …or maybe it was your cure for boredom.

    Whatever it was, it worked and was marvelous. Thank you.

  33. Wow you updated fast! I love that you haven’t cleared up all the questions. So is it the bed? Are they finally home? Thank goodness Adele, Pam & Jason are ok!

    I am loving the idea of the other two, totally confused but somewhat educated about where they went wrong, going back to Bon Temps…are you setting up an Angela’s Amazing Alternate story with different point of views.

    I hope the other Sookie gets healed and laid lol.

    I loved it, ‘old’ Sookie’s lecture, the confusion of ‘old’ Eric and the peacefulness of the new ones when they found each other. The dialogue was both hilarious and poignant at times and we always love a way to get at Bill.

    He’s a douche and deserves to be attacked with office products!

    Thank you sfm!

  34. Well I’m still a bit confused, but I’m glad that they seem to be back in there own world. I like this Eric and Sookie best. Two Chapters in one day, what can I say AWESOME! Thank you so much for the great story. You sure keep us on our toes. Til next chapter, I’ll be waiting.

  35. i voted your story my all time favorit thank you also are you going to pike up on the other eric and sookie i would love that to see how they deal with thing thank you

  36. What an awesome chapter and WTF!? What craziness is going on in all these worlds? Kind of glad they wound up back in the right bed so to speak. Hope you update soon so we can find out what is up.

  37. omg! this really is brilliant. Love this turn of events and I LOVE how much Eric appreciates what he has with Sookie now that he has seen what could of been. And I bet the other Eric wishes to have this Sookie as well ;)God, to be in a room with 2 Erics (oh the fantasies) YUMMMM! Droolz!

  38. Was it all a joint dream? Or a spell?

    Last 2 chapters have been nerve-wracking! I’m glad they’re back to their universe! 🙂

  39. Thank you thank you thank you. I was so excited with the new chapter missed my son’s lacrosse game!!! Love the double pairing, and how SVM Sookie got her ass handed to her! You don’t realize how annoying she is until you put them together. Kept waiting for SVM Eric to say something, he was so quiet just taking it all in. Hopefully he was taking pointers on how to get his Sookie to see the light. Love the chapter as always, don’t want to whine or anything but can’t wait for more.

  40. That had to be cathartic for you writing the ‘talking to’ that BTD Sookie gave SVM Sookie. Disney Princess is great!

    SVM Sookie has a bit of TB Sookie added in for extra flavoring. I thought your picture for this chapter was appropriate.

    I thought this parallel universe was a means for BTD Sookie to see what could have happened. Not that she has any doubt in BTD, but it would be nice to know just how right she got it – Not a means to fix SVM Sookie (that is a nice side effect though). I also thought it might be a means of bringing up the faerie subject with Gran…

    I have to be honest though… I have always thought that your Sookie was way more awesome than SVM (pre-Bill) Sookie. Your Sookie is well read, has great instincts and intuition when it comes to reading people and your Sookie is way more clever, witty… It’s the best Sookie ever!!! LOL

    I also want to thank you for the quick update! I read this last night and again this morning.

    • i have to agree..best sookie ever..
      although i like SVM sookie..but she can get a bit tiresome…esp initially with all the bill drama,n the not trusting eric crap..but TB sookie!ugh she just gets on my nerves like no one does…i wish TB sookie could meet ur sookie…

  41. I just love your Sookie. I think CH, AB and some of the goofy fanfic writers need to read your stories to see what a difference a strong and intelligent Sookie is. I think I might actually go and suggest to some of the goofy fanfic writers that maybe they should read your stories to get a clue lol. Your the bomb!!!

  42. Whew! At least BTD Sookie and Eric are back together! Loved the Sookie showdown. I never really considered the whole Disney princess thing, but now that I think on it, how true it is! Eh, I still love them though 🙂

    Sooo, I’m curious to find out if their blackouts and this AU are related. My head still hurts, LOL!

  43. I absolutely love this story, never more so than after chapters 35 & 36. I was definitely not expecting the alternate reality Sookies and Erics. When EricBTD couldn’t find SookieBTD I was heartbroken at thinking their life was all gone. I was shocked and very happy when Sookie & EricBTD met back up. The alternate reality was totally out of left field, but it was perfect. I can’t wait to read what happens next. I hope Pam & AdeleBTD are ok and that what SookieBTD said to the other Sookie sinks in.

  44. So does this mean they’re back in “their” house?!?!? I’m so glad they are back together and Gran is still alive. WOW!

    Cindy

  45. Thank you so much for posting so fast – I’m still confused. I love how your Sookie took care of the other one. I really hope dense Sookie listens to BTD Sookie and starts trusting the other Eric. I cannot wait for another chapter ~ what happens with Gran and Pam? Maybe even Jason will have an idea…

    Update soon. Please.

  46. Holy crap! What the hell? Ok maybe that needed to happen to get the old Sookie on track with the new Sookie. I’m so glad Gran is back!

  47. Oh good, they seem to be back. I hope the other Sookie and Eric move on without all the crap that happened in the books. To bad about Gran in that reality. These were a great couple of chapters.

  48. I like this because well it shows the “other” Sookie how stupid and dense she’s being in regards to Eric, Bill and well everything in her life and her habit of blaming everybody for her problems.

  49. You’re Sookie rocks and I love how she set SVM Sookie straight. You have no idea how many times I’d read about something Sookie said or did and was like “seriously? That totally doesn’t make any sense! Don’t you see what’s going on here?” She can be a bit dense sometimes. And your Sookie is her total opposite! LOVE IT! Have I told you that you’re a genius? You totally rock. Looking forward to the next chapter!

  50. Thank you for the trip to the Twilight Zone. During this chapter I kept thinking that Our Sookie was pretty hard on the other one considering Our Sookie was talked down off many a ledge by Gran and her practical ways. I like that it took just one pivotal moment in time to make such a huge difference in so many lives. It was a lot of fun to read so thanks!

  51. loved the last two chapters. the twists in the first one was worth the wait for the reveal in the 2nd. Sookie can be such a whinny bitch sometimes. thank for this alternate view of Eric and Sookie….. so as some one else said earlier how did Fangtasia not combust with the two Eric’s to entrall the vermin. It would of been fun to see how the fangbangers dealt with TWO Eric’s looking forward to the next chapters especially S&E explaining everthing to Pam, Adele, Jason, Bubba and Alcide.

  52. Wow, that was just amazing! Have to agree with sexyswede – the fangbangers should’ve imploded with the double sexyness 😉 Either way, I am soooooooo glad you updated so quickly! And I love Adele’s commentary on Disney princesses; there’s a reason Belle’s my favorite – she saves the prince! BTD!Sookie definitely saved her Eric 🙂 I hope you’ll continue with the quick updates ** hint hint**

  53. Loved the last two chapters but have they ever gotten me confused.. Hope we get them fixed soon unless they are already back. I think I need to go to bed and forget this happened to them.. 🙂

  54. Okay, LOVED THE Disney Princess jibe, lol. Now, I don’t know what time warp they went thru, but I’m glad they’re back. Did they just have to save the other Eric & Sookie? Well anywho, excellent chapter and can’t wait for the next one!!

  55. OH MY GOD!!!!! Once again a fabulous chapter!!! Is it a shame that I like BTD Sookie better than CH Sookie? Cause I do! I also never realized the Disney Princess theme, but it was spot on! You’ve got me on the edge of my seat! Waiting for more! I just wish there was more of the Two Eric’s, that would have been funny. Thanks again for a great chapter and I can’t wait!

  56. I would love to see a spin off of this chapter. I know it has been done (kinda) but not by you (who would make it 50 million times awesomer!) Nothing huge, but a nice little piece showing SVMSookie coming to her senses would be lovely.

  57. another fangtastic chappie. I still trying to wrap my head around all of it. I am still in WTF mode and desperately wondering how everything went to shit. Well done.

  58. You are the best! I thought I was going to hate this because I thought you would drag that out or make that difficult for Eric but you didn’t. This is the first time that someone has did this in a story and I didn’t hate it. Just picturing the two Eric’s Jebus Cripes. I love how Sookie handeled ‘herself’. I thought the other EAric was going to say something about the ring though. You are wonderful, and you need to make these into books so I can buy one.

  59. Okay, you do realize that you’ll have to write a spin off of BTD now, right? We all gotta see what happens in SVMSookie’s world after the (good) Eric and Sookie returned home:)
    I am so happy that you are writing this, I completely love this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thanks for writing this btw!
    Ditte Mai

  60. Wonderful! These last few chapters have to be the most original I have ever read – and the most enjoyable! Love, love that your Sookie set the SVM Sookie straight in more ways than one AND took care of Bill while putting a bug in Sophie’s ear about Threadgill. She’s fierce AND she’s efficient. Even the SVM Pam was working with her. You just fulfilled the wish of every SVM fan who is sick and tired of that Sookie’s whining and ‘woe is me’ attitude – in other words: ‘I’ve been hurt and betrayed by a male vampire, therefore all male vampires (indeed, vampires in general) are not to be trusted.’ Dial 1-800-WAH-WAH, ext. wah. The conversation about the D-princesses is hysterical. My daughters – when they were still very young – even noticed the trend for all the main ladies to wait for their prince to come rescue them someday. They’re favorite song for a while was one that had a line ‘I’d rather rescue myself.’ I find myself very curious as to what will happen to the other version of Eric & Sookie, & Company. Maybe a side story somewhere in the future? Just saying… Really looking forward to the next chapter.

  61. I love it ive come here so I didnt have to wait for more chapters and I’m so happy I did I can’t wait for more and I’m going to have a look at your other storys x
    Ps doing this does it mean I get sent updates from here I do I need to do something els?

  62. Oh wow! Thank you so much for putting the link to your wordpress site on your fanfiction update. I just finished chapter 26 there and I was dying for more so I came over here to check it out–and wow! I just gorged myself on ch 27-36 and I am amazed! You continue to move this plot along in the most creative ways. I love the whole twist of sending Sookie and Eric into that strange AU! I really hope the other Sookie and Eric can come to some kind of understanding. While I am still so totally in love with this story and it’s Sookie, Eric, Adele, Jason, Pam, etc…I sort of got attached to the AU Sookie and Eric. Especially when our Sookie was calling the queen and setting Bill to rights! Go Sookie!

    If course I am also dying to meet Hunter and see how things go with him and Sookie, him and Eric, him and Adele, etc! This story just keeps getting better. Thanks so much for sharing!

  63. I love it! Fabulous idea and too funny. I can just imagine what she looked like running in to Fangtasia looking the way she did and jumping Eric’s bones, ever the opportunist. LOL! Sookie sees how insufferable she would have been..or normally is. Priceless! :-). So now I’m wondering the significance of that, was that to show Sookie and/or Eric how she would be if Adele had died or was it to make her realize everyday is a gift. Or could it simply be a warning. Can’t wait to find out. PLEASE update soon and I’m also dying for more Dead Sexy.

  64. To SexySwede: Priceless comment –

    “With 2 Eric’s in one room – How in the hell did Fangtasia not spontaneously combust?!”

    I was thinking the exact same thing! Seriously – Did anyone’s panties survive that?

  65. What the hell? You really enjoy playing with us, don’t you? I’m going to end up having a heart attack, if this keeps up 😉 I am glad that they seem to be back where they belong (is the bond back too?), I’m just curious as to what happened.
    I can’t wait to meet Hunter in the next chapter.

  66. I am in love with ths story. I found it on ff and,per your iinsructions, followed you over here. However, since I am reading this on my “phone”… the itty-bitty print takes some getting use to. Please reward me with many more chapters. I am now addicted to seeing what happens next! Thank you for sharing such creative writing.

  67. Great two chapters!!! I’m so glad they got “home”! That was such an unexpected twist and turn and return. Kind of a nice quick comparison of your characters and the books. Very nicely done.

  68. WTFUdge!! Very good twist.. Hopefully the smarter Sookie made somewhat of an impression on idiot Sookie!!! Is everything back to normal now??? It’s cute that smarter Sookie was so protective of her Eric!!

  69. Well damn. That is prettu much I am cabeable of saying at the moment. I am also very jealous of your talent in writing. 🙂

    I was so confused there for a moment, but I wonder why you felt the need for alternative reality… I guess we’ll see why later. And it did work. I can’t wait for an update.

  70. love it. interesting twist on the story. i’m glad i came and read the new up-dates on here instead of waiting for them on fanfiction. can’t wait to see why you had that alternative reality in there. hope you write more soon!!! xD xoxo

  71. Damn! Did not see these last two chaps coming!! Im so intrigued as to where you are going with this, I’ve started biting my nails again! Arghhhh! Hope you are feeling well, clearly pregnancy is great for your literary skills. Curious, where you preggers when Saints and Sinners was born? Keep up the good work!

  72. What an imagination you have. LOL. I think I get it though. They key was her saying that she wanted to re-do Monday all over. I think that kicked us into a little version of “IT’s a wonderful life.” Very clever on your part. The two Sookies were hysterical together. Loved alter Eric though, ever the cool dude taking it all in. Although I did not comment previously, the chapter where he is trying to convince alter Sookie of his love (before he knew who she was) was just greatness. I wish that he would say those things to HIS Sookie. Just beautiful.

    I am a maternity nurse, so I understand how the last little while is waiting for the young ones to come. Good luck to you and your family.

  73. I have already reread this four chapter section three times. It works so perfectly as a short story within the novel.

    Now that I see that you didn’t receive a banner, I wonder if you also didn’t receive the drawing of Bill that I sent. It wasn’t my best, but it was kinda creepy.

  74. Wow I am still confused … how in the hell did they get in another timeline??? But I LOVED that Our Sookie gave STUPID ASS Sookie a good talking to. What an idiot!!!!!!

  75. Oh my gods! LOL! If Alfred Hitchcock wasn’t already dead….. Wait! Did you get turned and disguising yourself as a fucking awesome FanFic author? LOL jk ;P

  76. I know this is story is old, but I have just found it and am completely obsessed! To the point that I am to eager to read, that I can’t review. But I HAD to review this! OMG, this mini plot is brilliant, I agree with every single thing all the other readers have said 🙂 loved the contrast bwtn BTD and SVM Sookie and Eric 🙂 Also, a spin off of the SVM reality would be awesome, wonder if you did one? Will have to search later.
    And the princess reference, and Our Sookie confronting the other Sookie, brilliant!
    Just, just, everything is Brilliant!!!

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