Chapter 31: The Right Side Of The Bed

Bored To Death

Chapter 31

The Right Side Of The Bed


Everything came to me at once.


…the moisture of her mouth on my neck.

…the scent of sunlight falling from her hair.

…the heat radiating from her body.

…the perfect grip her little hand had on my dick.

She was hovering over me. On her knees. Not a bit of her was resting on me, yet her presence pressed against me as though I was weighed down…

I felt her smile against my neck as she purred, ‘hello’.

She’d been waiting.

And as she worked, my body began to ache… No part of me could decide whether to join in or be her toy…

Until the first time she bit…

Her mouth had trailed down my ribs, chewing, grazing…

Pushing my tolerance for staying still…

But the way she pinched my skin at the top of my leg… teasing, but not breaking the skin… it pushed me from anxious to feral.

I surprised her, putting her back into the bed and holding her down.

“I told you to not tease me.”

Her eyes seemed wild and she rubbed her knees along my sides… her excitement, her lust had only become more ripe. “I got carried away. I missed you.”

“Is that an apology?”

“No… Can we afford to… lose time tonight?”

She bit her lip, waiting for my answer and I considered nothing

The possibilities that she offered made everything stop.

As Sookie pulled from me, it was as though I could feel myself fill her…

It was a mindful struggle to not get lost… to not give in to the intoxication… to resist the vacuum that we became when we shared blood…

Only making it worse was that Sookie had…

She’d completely given herself over to whatever it was that made us lose time, but I needed to know that I could control myself and it…

I needed to know what I’d missed…

Every bit of her wanted what I wanted…

Every bit of her…

Without hesitation…

Without consciousness she had no usual undercurrents of being lacking as though she’d be some sort of disappointment…

Everything that I enjoyed was amplified back to me… tenfold.

We were sharing every bit of her adrenaline rush…

And when ‘it’ was finally over and we fell back to the bed, I was breathless

More puzzling than that… when I stopped ‘breathing’ I was actually dizzy for a moment.

I pulled her closer, taking in what was left of the sun while she calmed down and finally letting myself get lost… The bliss that she practically flooded into the room after we’d fucked until she was too exhausted to cum anymore…

And as I lay with my arm around her body, as she panted covered in sweat and my smell… she felt as though she was getting warmer.

…She wasn’t. Her heat wasn’t building. I was cooling; as we calmed down, my body was going back to its usual temperature.

As though my breathing wasn’t enough to think about, I’d managed to have body heat…


I’d made no headway in comprehending the concept and had no idea how long I’d wondered, but it was long enough that she was the first to speak…

“Why’d you do that? You fought it.” It was disappointing that she’d felt me holding back.


She giggled, still struggling to tame her breathing. “Isn’t there a saying about observing the subject changing the subject’s behavior?”

“I believe so.”

“I’m curious too, but I’m greedy enough to not want to mess with it.”

“I’m still concerned that I could hurt you. What do you suggest?”

Her fingers started feathering across my arm while she considered a way to resolve our interest and she finally let a small gasp. “We could record it.”

“Vampire porn?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Butthead. So we can see what we’re like. So we can see if it’s different than when we don’t share.”

“I already know you’re different.”

She tilted her head to kiss me. “But you aren’t worried about what I do.”


“How was I different?”

“You were an animal. I had to hold you down. I was scared.”

She cackled and started to slide over to leave the bed. “Liar! I’m so getting a video camera tomorrow at Wal-mart!”

“And a tripod?”

She turned around and came back to give me another kiss. “Only if you promise to let go next time.”

“Agreed then.”

She grinned and turned to leave again. “Your new phone is on the charger. I’m going to get my shower so we can head over to the bar.”


I stared at the damn thing for a moment before I moved to touch it, pissed that I’d broken the old one and created my own nightmare of restoring all of the addresses and information…

My annoyance was hindered when I looked at my home screen… somehow I was greeted with the image of Sookie in the pool. She was unfortunately wearing a swimsuit, but she was floating on her back and basking in the sun…

The only way for that photo to be improved is if she’d been nude…

Answering my phone constantly would be far less irritating now…

And just as surprising, my data didn’t need to be restored… It was as though I hadn’t broken my old one, simply improved it with the picture of Sookie.


I slid into the shower behind Sookie and had my arms slapped for making her ‘stink of sex’ again.

I laughed at her, but didn’t move my arms. “How did you manage that?”

“I grabbed the sim card from the pile of bits you left behind.”

“Thank you, but I meant the picture.”

“Gran took it while I was out today. She came to tell me that lunch was ready and thought you might like a picture of me.”

“I’ll have to think of a way to thank her. She was right. How is she? I’ve barely seen her since we returned from New Orleans.”

She giggled as she started to rewash. “She spends a good part of the day talking my ear off about how much fun she has with Bubba. She’s been reading until her eyes burn and takes breaks to make a catalog of your books. She’s looking forward to tomorrow night though, since we’re off.”

“I am too. Things have been too hectic. Have concrete plans been made for Bartlett yet?”

She leered at me over her shoulder. “I talked to Jason today. He’s suddenly changed his mind.” Uh-oh.

“Changed his mind about what exactly?”

“Well… he was originally upset that he was the only one who’d miss the man and wanted to have a full service… Now, he’s planning on just dumping the ashes in the cemetery.”

“No ceremony?” I was probably too proud of him and the subsequent look I got from Sookie proved it.

“None. Why’d you tell him?”

“I was wondering why no one else had. He’s flawed, but he loves you enough to be angry about what you went through.”


“I understand that he had no business knowing when he was a child, but he’s an adult now and couldn’t understand why everyone else was being so cold on the matter. Given what he knew, the three of you were being very Pam-ish over his death.”

She stopped scowling to giggle at the joke. “How’d he take it?”

“He wished he knew so he could kill him.”

“See, that’s why…”

“I know, but now that he’s dead there’s no harm in Jason knowing.”

“Well… thanks I guess. I don’t know if I could’ve gotten through explaining and he was really upset that he was grieving on his own.”

“I didn’t mind. He’s not as dense as I once believed… What did you do today?”

“I slept until noon… made some phone calls… went through the boxes of clothes… finished off Gran’s left over fried chicken and pecan pie… and laid out to bake.”

“It sounds uneventful.”

“It was, and it was amazing.”

“Phone calls… anything important or just social?”

“A little of both. I called Arlene and JB to catch up. I called the foreman for the safe room. The furniture is waiting in the house. He’s more than willing to snap a few pictures of the daily progress for us and send them our way. I resisted the urge to call Alcide to see if Debbie killed him. If I called and she was around, it would’ve caused a problem… I called Bobby with a few errands.”

“You gave Bobby errands? Should you…?”

“Don’t worry… I had him go get your replacement phone and research pediatricians and dentists. He left it all in the mailbox and went on his way.”

“How was his demeanor when you spoke to him?”

“He was more polite than ever.”

“You’re sure that he isn’t a threat?”

“I didn’t say that. I don’t plan on going anywhere near him now. There’s no telling how long he could be affected. Jason is coming by in a bit to bring some groceries to tide us over until the three of us can go shopping tomorrow night.”

“But you don’t feel as though he’s plotting, just unstable.”

“Pretty much… If you’re ok with it, I was thinking that we’d just give him a few little chores for the next couple days and let him think all is forgiven… then I’ll have him over during the day so he’s less suspecting. I’d have Alcide with me, of course, and we can hold him until sunset so you can glamour him and turn him out.” Not bad.

“When did you think of this little plot?”

“While I was laying out. I’d rather hold on to him here so that I can be here when you come around, but… I don’t trust him enough to be under the roof with Gran.”

“I’m not particularly fond of the idea of you being around him either.”

She sighed and stepped out of the shower to start drying. “I’m not either, but I’d feel better about Alcide being with him if I can read his mind.”


“Both of them… I wouldn’t want Alcide to get carried away and hurt Bobby. I wouldn’t want Bobby to hurt Alcide trying to get away. Reading their thoughts should help me see something brewing.”

“I could just go get him myself.”

“You pay him on the books though. If something does happen and he’s gone missing during the day, then you’re less likely to be suspect.” She’s so very good at this…

“Then I can simply have Flood send a couple of random…”

“Flood’s still leery of you. Pack involvement probably isn’t called for since this really isn’t a big deal in the scheme of things. If you’re going to get them involved, it makes more sense to see what you’re dealing with dealer-wise.”

“That’s all very shrewd of you… You’ll make quite the decent vampire one day.”

She giggled on her way out. “God, I hope so since I suck at being human half the time.” Nonsense

“You’re excellent at being my human.”

She returned to give me a kiss. Without preamble her lips were on mine and her tongue had left her taste behind.

“What was that for?”

“Being so good to your human.” After another kiss, she was gone again.


I found Sookie in the library with Adele and Bubba.

Even if we hadn’t already planned as such, Sookie’s dress would’ve decided that tonight would be an early night.

Not unlike the black halter dress with short skirt that barely made it off of her body in one piece either time she’d worn it, this one was a dark purple that managed to accentuate not only her tan, but the blue of her eyes… the top was backless and barely contained her… the skirt barely covered her ass, leaving the full length of her deeply bronzed legs for me to picture wrapped around me again and the heel on her shoes made her legs seem that much longer…

It was too short and too low cut and was making me feel as though I hadn’t touched her in ages…

I needed to be inside her again.

And the best I could do was blame our recent exchange… it wasn’t helping.


My savior came in the form of Jason… again. Seriously?

He arrived at the front door not long after I forced my fangs back to greet Adele.

His arms were full of grocery bags so I lightened his load and led him to the kitchen to let him start putting things away since I was relatively clueless.

“Sorry I’m running late. I lost track of time cleaning out Hunter’s room at their place and when I got home, I had that box of stuff I ordered waiting… I couldn’t help myself. I went ahead and set it up.”

“You already had a bed?”

“Yeah well, I need to rearrange a little to put the bed next to wall for him… He’ll have my old one… I only used it for a year before we moved in with Gran… Am I allowed to go say ‘hi’ or will I just get shooed off again?”

“Jason, there’s a reason that Adele doesn’t want you to be around Bubba.”

He stopped and stepped back, looking sickened. “Awwww, don’t tell me she’s done hooked up with him.” Fucking adorable.

“Do you have a problem with vampire/human relationships?”

“Dude! She’s 82! He’s like, what? 50?”

“I believe he was about 40 when he died.”

“Ewwww. That’s worse…” He shuddered.

I couldn’t resist anymore. I finally started laughing. “They aren’t a couple.”

“Oh, thank God. I woulda had nightmares. I know it… So why is she kicking me to the curb?”

“I assume that you noticed that Bubba resembles someone relatively notable, yes?”

“Yeah. He’d make one hell of an impersonator…” He stopped and stared and I watched his face change as things came to him. “Noooooo. You’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not.”

“That’s HIM!?”

“No. That was him. Adele’s been sheltering him because he’s really unhappy with being reminded of who he was.”

“So what… he just like… lays low and stuff?”

I nodded. “That would be accurate. It’s difficult for him to avoid recognition. Adele was excited to meet him even though she knew that she couldn’t speak with him about most of his life. They enjoy sharing stories about similar childhoods though.”

“That’s fucking nuts. I shook hands with the King.”

“Sadly, you get no bragging rights though. We take the protection of Bubba’s identity very seriously.”

“Hell, like anyone’d believe that shit anyway.”


“So, what… no talking about… stuff. Right?”

“Right. Most recently he had to leave his home in Florida because another vampire foolishly asked him how he felt about his daughter’s then recent marriage to that deranged singer…”

He chuckled. “Shit. He probably would’ve flipped his lid if he’d been alive too… I gotcha though. Treat him like just another guy and it’s all good. I can do that.”

Jason followed me back to the library when he was done sorting the groceries and the first thing Bubba said when we joined them was ‘Hey Jason! Where ya been keeping yourself?’

I answered Adele’s concerned look with a wink. She seemed to still be worried, but considering the leaps and bounds Jason had been making in his understanding of things, I was willing to hope…


Sookie smirked all the way to the car and was still highly amused as we made our way to Fangtasia.

“Are you enjoying what that dress is doing to me that much?”

“Yes, but that’s not what has me so tickled.”

“What then?”

“I got a text.”

“It was funny enough to leave you this tickled?”

“You could say that…” She leaned over to pull her purse into her lap and retrieve her phone. She jokingly cleared her throat. “…Dear pain in the ass telepath, it galls me to have to remind you that I too share a bond with the lanky albino vampire you are toying with. Whatever you are doing to him, please stop. Some of us have to work.”

“LANKY ALBINO!? She’s going to pay for that!”

Sookie threw her head back and laughed. “Oh, it gets better! She sent that at around 8… I didn’t read it until a few minutes ago when I heard the alert for the most recent one.”

“The timing sounds about right. Do I want to know about the other one?”

“Other ONES… The next one was half an hour later. ‘Fed and fucked. Didn’t help. Seriously, stop.’ At 9:10 she sent ‘Can you at least dial it back? Taking 2nd dinner break.’ I think she’s going to kick my ass.”

“I’ll protect you. Is that all of them?”

She giggled, “No… ‘I need you to stop. I’ve stomped the heels off of three pairs of shoes.’ Then a few minutes later, ‘Way to go. I’m in a pair of Ginger’s odious Payless heels. I can FEEL that they were assembled by unskilled labor. *grudge*’… Then at 10:15 she sent, ‘Pam equals one part pissed, one part dying-to-know… How are you still alive?’ Just after that, ‘ARE you still alive?”

“The texting stopped when we did?”

“Sort of. I got one that said, ‘thank God it’s over’ around the time we were in the shower, but the last one came in while you were in the kitchen… I guess the dress made her quit.”

I laughed, “She texted her resignation?” Texting it was new, but the carrier pigeon method was still my favorite.

“Dear sexaholic mind reader, I’m moving to Seychelles. I might be able to avoid the reaction from there…” Sookie gave a puzzled look. “Why Seychelles?”

I rolled my eyes at how much of a brat Pam can be. “She’s threatened to move to the opposite side of the planet to avoid the backlash of our sex life.”


Sookie was still laughing when we arrived at Fangtasia and her mood only improved when she saw only 8 vampires in queue at the back door.

Pam was holding the back door for us by the time we’d gotten out of the car…

Highly annoyed and she’d been right about the shoes…

“Pam, I’m sure you’ve already placed an order for more shoes.”

“Of course I have, but I was about to call you…”

“Is business so slow that you tired of texting?”

“Yes, but that’s not the point. We have a problem.” Of course we do… Why wouldn’t we? I was tempted to just burn the bar to the ground.

“Animal, vegetable or mineral?”



51 thoughts on “Chapter 31: The Right Side Of The Bed

  1. hah pams texts were great! just wanted to let ya no that you are one of my favorite writers and love seeing when i get your updates in my inbox!

  2. *bows at your feet* THANK YOU FOR UPDATING! I’ve been going through BTD withdrawals. Just ask Zee/sapfirerose. I’m rereading BTD for like the 3rd or 4th time because of it AND because I love this story so much.

    Excellent chapter, even if it was short. LOVED Pam’s texts. And I’m eager to see what happens when they record themselves while they lose time. I was hoping they’d do it, but was afraid to suggest it. Hehe. Interesting that Sookie came up with the idea. Wonder if they are going to end up watching their own video over and over. I have a feeling Eric would be all for it…and then recreating it. Haha!

  3. Giggled that while texting is the “new thing” Eric still like carrier pigeons….but you have to admit, texting is far less messier 🙂

    Thanks for the posting! I just love this story and you have Eric’s voice down pat….


  4. Poor Pam having to deal with the raging hormones of her Sire and HIS human. I’m sure she shopped her way to a better mood, but I am concerned about this new problem that she is reporting. Oh well maybe Sookie will share the tape with her when they get around to making it and she’ll go back to being cheered up.

  5. I am completely in love. I go nuclear excited when there is an update. I like Jason and Eric developing a friendship. This time I LOVED Pam’s texts. I really laughed so hard my family wanted to know the joke. (I am in my basement office, they heard me all the way upstairs.) THANK YOU for the best stuff ever!

  6. I loved this chapter. Pam is great and Jason is just endearing…even to Eric! Sookie and Eric are great together. Can’t wait to see what happens when the “lose time”.

  7. Those texts were just spot on. Pam has to be one of my fav charries in this story. Though if I’m honest I love them all, she just took the cake in this chappie. Glad to see you writing this again, though I love the AIW updates we’ve been getting lately.

  8. Ditto what everyone else said! Thank you so much for posting. I hope you and everyone in your family have recovered from being sick.

    You gotta know that I squee whenever I see something in my mailbox from you. I love reading what ever you post, and this was no different.

    Poor Pam. She’s gotta be wishing by now that she’d find the Sookie equivalent in her life. Feeling all that Eric does in their bond just has to be frustrating.

    I wonder – is Jason’s mind improving because of Eric’s influence? Maybe no one ever expected Jason to use it, so he never had to. Eric seems to have higher standards for him – and actually talks to the guy about stuff other than just girls and his sexual prowess – and lo and behold, Jason seems to be getting smarter. Sometimes, you just need a mentor.

    Thrilled that Sookie was there when Eric woke up again…it’s been at least a couple of chapters since that happened, and we know how grouchy they both are when they miss that time together. I’m interested to find out what happens when they exchange. Can’t wait to read that chapter!

    You know I’m jonesing already for your next installment, for whatever story you feel like updating. So looking forward to whatever you post next!!!

  9. You may know this from all the other people who reviewed already, but this chapter rocked!
    I was so excited to see an update, and well…so glad that S/E made up. That was cold shower worthy material right there.
    As always Pam was great, and putting her in Ginger’s shoes was a stroke of brilliance! So funny!!!
    I’m getting excited to see where you take the story because from the feel of this chapter it seemed like you’ve had a plot bunny revelation at some point recently…of course chances are I’m absolutely on the wrong train here. 🙂

  10. Whoever said “less is more” had probably never had quite enough “more”.
    But not in this case.Though I missed a longer chapter,(I miss longer chapters even when you post a long one,sue me)this one was so hilarious that tamed my withdrawal..

  11. Yay…. love this story…. so Thanking you for the awesome update…. now i really want to know what goes on when they lose time…


  12. Were trouble, huh? Debbie’s dead? No, too bad. Alcide deserves someone as sweet as he is. I too am wondering what’s going on with Jason’s intellect. It’s showing & growing. As far as I can remember, he hasn’t had any bumps on the head or vampire blood, to explain it.

    It is a very good chapter, I hope you’re back in the BTD groove again so we get more updates of my favorite story. Selfish today? Yes.

    I hope next chapter they have the tripod and camera set up. My guess is that they just stay frozen in time…

    Hope everyone is healthy,
    Smile at your teenager, he’ll wonder what you’re up to.

  13. Delightful. Like so many others, I re-read the stories. I’m gonna re-read this one and AIW, since I finished S&S again. I’ve re-read most of Dead Tired. You are an awesome writer. Your dialogue is so natural and you have so much humor in the stories. Pam’s reaction is hilarious. I wonder what the Were problem is.

  14. I love the growing bromance between Eric and Jason. I agree with another reviewer that Erics influence is making Jason smarter.

    Love Pam in this chapter. I really like your explanation about how the bind works. And I can’t wait to see what they do when they black out together. I love it!!! Can’t wait for more

  15. Short but very amusing. Thanks! I am on my 4th read through, this is my ‘go to’ story when I’m bored and want to smile.

  16. It is unreal how excited i get when i see you’ve updated, this one is just as amazing as ever and as usual, has left me wanting more. My family have started teasing me about how hyper i get. Seriously. Love ya =] x

  17. i love how eric interacts with jason. hmmm….a were problem…somehow i’m thinking it might be quinn. thanks for the update 🙂

  18. I love the idea of them video taping the lost time, I wonder if they will be moving at all or just shimmering or something? It will be interesting to see.

    LOVED lanky albino, you have Eric and Pam’s voice perfectly and that makes them my favourite characters..

    I wonder if Eric has been the first person to ever invest some time into Jason? His family do seem to have given up, either way I think it’s paying off, he’s been genius (for Jason) lately…

  19. another great chapter, loved the texts from Pam, wonder if she has realized about the salt in her shoes yet? and putting her in ginger’s is just too funny, perhaps she will flip when someone comments on her shoes. Were trouble, several thoughts come to mind and I can’t wait to see what you come up with. Glad Jason is getting to use his brain a little, maybe it never had enough exercise.

  20. As everyone has said, the texting was hilarious. I too am loving the bromance of Eric and Jason. I just heard in an interview today, Alex saying the he has only had one scene with Ryan K. Had never really thought about that, but they don’t run in the same circles in TB, so this is nice for a change. Wondering when you will able to update Life and Death? I love, love, love that Sookie and Eric continuation story.

  21. I was so excited to get your latest chapter that I absolutely had to stay up after 0300 to get it in before bedtime. Caught up on “Fringe” and “Pillars of the Earth” finally, although I still haven’t finished “True Blood”. I’d rather read and reread your awesome work. I eagerly look forward to whatever story your muses allow!

    I have to agree with what everyone has posted thus far. LOVE Pam! Her serial texting totally had me smiling the entire time. And I am really loving Jason’s enlightenment. I hope it is directly due to Eric’s influence 🙂 I am looking forward to more on the blackout explanation and to when we meet Hunter! Love how Jason is going hog wild getting everything ready for him. Thanks again for a super update…

  22. I also love the fact that Jason seems to be “growing” into a smarter man. Pam is so funny. Where would we be without her. Great chapter! Thanks for the update. Always look forward to your updates. Til next time. Cheryl

    P.S. I also was wondering about “Life and Death”. An update on it would be great. It’s my favorite.

  23. Another wonderful chapter, I am especially enjoying how Jason is developing into a nice guy instead of a dumbass.
    Erm, if they make a video, will you please post it ? 😉

  24. Fabulous chapter! It’s never enough for me…I need more! Pam and her texts are too funny…I love the chemistry between all of them. Very excited to see the “problem” Pam mentioned and I am absolutely salivating to see what happens when they loose time. This is one of my favorites, actually I think your writing is phenomenal. Update soon!

  25. Hey, love your stories recently I have been in out of the hospital you don’t know how many times your stories have saved me from dying of boredom (things get really boring when your in the hospital) so thanks for updating your stories and helping make my day that much better cause the updates always put a smile on my face so thanks and keep writing your awesome 🙂

  26. Thank you for an UP DATE!! I have miss it!
    Anyway great writting and I laught at Pam text. I am anxiouses to see the sex video with Sookie and Eric, I do wonder if is something extraordinary happens..or the bond comes to life..Sookie’s Fae powers much thinking anyway I can not wait!

  27. I don’t know how I missed the alert for this, but I had a nice surprise when I noticed it while reading the new AIW. Loved the chapter, especially Pam’s texts! As always, I can’t wait for more!


  28. Ditto to all the above – I love the way you write their sex scenes – sparse but mesmerising. Pam’s texts – wonderful. I haven’t seen anyone raise that before, but its an interesting idea that she is affected by his emotions

    Thanks so much for sharing with us.

  29. Love the story, can’t wait for an update. Will her Fae background come to into play or will she only have the telepathy?

  30. Am I being silly that I want Adele to somehow get some V blood in her so she will live a lot longer? I don’t want to see that woman die, seriously:)
    I love Eric’s slow growing attachment to Jason, it’s nice to see him having, the word might not be entirely right, but here goes: A buddy:)
    All in all, i’m thrilled I logged on ff net this morning and spotted your words about posting here as well. I loved this chapter, heck I love all the chapters and wish there were more!
    I hope you’re updating again soon:) I’m very greedy:)
    Happy writing
    ditte mai

  31. hello EIM here are a couple for you to fix if you want to

    lines up with EP chapter 3 seduced “Sadly, you get no bragging rights though. We take the protection Bubba’s identity very seriously.” you are missing the word “OF” protection of Bubba’s

    lines up with EP chapter 9 First Taste “Right. Most recently had to leave his home in Florida because ” missing word “HE” most recently he had .


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