Chapter 18: Comforted

Bored To Death

Chapter 18



I’m going to have to assume that she was in shock. I’d always presumed that being shocked and being in shock were at least somewhat related, but as we drove back to the house I realized that I was learning otherwise.

Shocked. Neighbor of surprised and awed. Halfway between astonished and upset…

In shock felt differently. While I could claim to have been shocked, being in shock was a new sensation to me…

‘In shock’ seems to somehow be an overwhelming culmination of the sum total. Equal parts of everything and nothing… and the echo of the chaos created by it all is deafening.

Sookie was in shock…

I was helpless to do anything for her…

I hated it…

When I first arrived at the apartment, it never would have occurred to me to ask. I assumed that the humans had been killed by Pam and Hadley. Sookie wouldn’t have it in her. Not to kill a human. So I thought. I was stunned enough just to see Sookie pulling a body to Pam for her to feed from.


I’d needed to get Sookie’s attention when we arrived at the house… not only unbuckling her seatbelt for her, but uncurling her legs enough to lift her out of the car.

I quietly took her in through the balcony to our room, and straight to the bathroom. I set her on the side of the tub and started the water for her, promising that I’d be back and never got any reply.

Refreshingly, Adele was not offering any surprises. She was exactly as I assumed I’d find her; pacing the floor of the kitchen, wringing her hands.

Jason stood behind her, doing a shitty job of consoling his grandmother as I quickly did what I could to end her worry…

The only peace she seemed to get was that she still has all three of her grandbabies and the promise to see Sookie as soon as she was clean.

I was immeasurably grateful that she didn’t push for more information. Sugarcoating was never something I excelled at.


If I didn’t know better, I’d say my heart sank when I returned to Sookie and found her precisely as she was when I left her.


She was still studying the same floor tile it seemed.



There was no pressing urgency necessarily. It was only just past 11… naming the infiltrators in the queens donor collection might be accomplished in a drive by manner… As quickly as she’s sorted through other information, Sookie could most likely be done in just a few minutes.

My anxiety was based on…

…I fucking hated seeing Sookie so… so lifeless.

I crouched in front of her and lifted her foot as I tried to calmly untie her impossibly tight laces. They’d been soaked with blood and were now caked and trying my patience. My concern was getting the best of me. “Sookie, we’re going to have to dispose of another outfit…”

Lifting her other foot. “…I’m not going to be happy if you find yourself without any of those shorts left…”

Still no response…

But she did help slightly by pulling her arms out of her top before I pulled it over her head. “…What store should I shop to replace them?”

Still nothing.

I held my hand out, guiding her to stand so that I could remove the last of her clothes.


Her usually exciting, inspiring body… undressing her, touching her, even lowering her into the water felt as though I was in mourning.

I hated it.

She didn’t blink away the water as I washed her bloody handprints from her angelic face.

“Sookie, I need you to tell me what happened.” I’d have settled for a retelling of her childhood illnesses.

Her attention was locked on the slow drip from the faucet. Maddening.

I hated it.

“You were hurt.”

She stiffened slightly. At least it was a reaction. Anything was better than the nothing she was torturing me with.

“You said you were thrown… Pam threw you out of the way?”

Her throat clenched.

“You landed on your back and then Pam was attacked… I felt both.”

Her eyes started to well up.

“What did you hear?”

She shook her head slightly.

“Sookie, please… I need to know what happened.” Her voice. I needed to just hear her voice. Anything.

I don’t beg.

I don’t ever fucking beg. Not for anything. Not in centuries. But there I was, sitting on the tile floor next to the bathtub, bathing my ‘pet’ and begging for her to say something.

I stood, intending to bring Adele into my efforts and was given the smallest hope… Sookie was upset at the idea of my exit…

“I’m going to get Adele. She’s worried and…”


Just hearing ‘no’ made me feel better somehow.

“Don’t leave me.”

I nodded, trying to decide on what to do next… she stared up at me, her eyes wide and full of uncertainty.

I hadn’t been bluffing. In spite of wanting to stay near her, I’d have left her just long enough…

Knowing she wanted me close…

I found myself shedding my own bloodied clothes and the first voluntary movement she made since she wrapped her arms around me in Hadley’s apartment was to move forward in the tub so that I could get behind her.

She laid back, her arms overlapping mine at her waist…

“Sookie, Andre will wait a while, but Adele is a nervous wreck. She was with me when…”

“Oh god… How bad?”

“The three of us were talking and I felt your fear. I wasn’t sure what it could be at first. She could tell that I was… elsewhere. I went to get my phone and that’s when I felt you both get wounded.”

She sniffled, tightening her arms to mine. “They were thinking: How old is this one? Shit. I’ve never seen her before. She could be ancient. Fuck… How are we supposed to get the pet with her here too? Fuck… another one?”

“They thought you were a vampire too?” Guilt by association.

She nodded slowly. “That’s how Pam was stabbed. The one lunged at me…”

“But she shoved you out of harm’s way.”

“He already had a net on them both when I got up… Landing knocked the wind out of me. Pam had killed the woman by then. The guy was thinking he could get them both and just drain Pam… he was calling someone when I snuck up on him.”

“How long was it before I arrived?”

She sniffed again and ran her hand over my arm. “A minute. Maybe two. I just dragged the woman to Hadley like Pam told me to.”

“You shouldn’t have had to fight, Sookie. Sigebert…”

“He couldn’t hear it… Hadley has a witch friend… her apartment is warded for privacy.”

Oh, fuck. What’s the point of having an armed escort if you’re going to have a ward that keeps him from doing his job… “That stupid bitch.”

Sookie began actively crying again. “I’m sorry, Eric. If I hadn’t… Pam was hurt because…” No.

“Sookie, Pam was doing her job. You saw how quickly she healed. You wouldn’t have walked away from that.” I would have had to turn her. Losing her wasn’t an option.

She turned, curling up against me, no more comforted. “But if I had stayed out of the way, she could have gotten them both. Questioned them. Gotten something against that Arkansas asshole… Now they have nothing.”

“Shhhh… that’s what you are. Sookie, you are proof. You heard their purpose. You heard that they were there to abduct the child of the queen to use as blackmail and drain a lieutenant. They attacked an asset of the state… You did a superb job of keeping that from happening.”

“That’s just my word though.”

“It’s an incredibly valuable word… Sookie, you need to understand something. Vampires are very rarely wronged in an appreciable manner. We are devious. We lie as an art form. When we decide that someone is an enemy, they seldom have the opportunity to form an offense because we act promptly. It’s only been 2 nights since you informed the queen of Arkansas’s plans. His pets were already in place with a countermeasure, prearranged in the case that she reconsiders her plan to marry him. That plot was unraveled by a pretty little bar maid from Nowhere, Louisiana in minutes and his backup plan was just as destroyed by the same sweet little thing… It had to have taken him months to put everything in place.”

She sat up to turn with an angry look. “Oh that’s just great! You’re sleeping next to an anti-vampire!”

I started to laugh. I’d certainly gotten what I asked for… She was back from the void that she was hiding in. “I’m going to need Adele after all, aren’t I?”

“This is the kind of shit that has made me an outcast my whole life and…. and you’re laughing!?”

Insolent… fang-snuggling and vampire mercenary kicking… Cheeky. Beautiful. Mine. “Yes! I’m laughing. Sookie, look at things however you like, but while you are bellyaching about the loss of two fools who planned to abduct, abuse and destroy you, your cousin and my child, I am counting my blessings.”


“You might think that you are a pain in the ass, and Sigebert most definitely considers you to be a pain in his shin, but every vampire in Louisiana is grateful for you tonight whether they know it or not. You have saved us all from a very bloody coup attempt. You are good luck. Pennies. Horseshoes. Shamrocks… Sookie Stackhouse.”

“But in Arkansas, I’m an open umbrella indoors. A black cat in your path. A broken mirror.”

“Fuck Arkansas. Peter Threadgill set into motion a plan that he knew, if unsuccessful, would cost him everything. At his age, he should know better.”

“You’re more sure of me than I am.”

“As your master, I have to make sure you are confident enough to do your duty… and the flip is that I’ll also be responsible for leashing your ego once you realize what you’re fully capable of.”

She snorted, leaning back to me again. “That’s funny. Being encouraging… Keeping me levelheaded… That’s kind of in a ‘boyfriend’s job description too.”

I wrapped her up and brought us out of the water, turning the showerhead on. “So it is.”

She pouted by playfully stomping her foot. “I don’t want to go.”

“Do you want the master or the boyfriend reason to get on with things?”

Her lip poked out… oh so temptingly… “I know the damn ‘master’ reason. I opened my big mouth and told the queen’s lapdog to expect us.”

I laughed away the urge to grab her lip between my teeth… and handed the body wash to her. “Fine. A boyfriend might gently remind you that your frightened grandmother is downstairs with no one but Jason to comfort her after seeing me covered in Pam’s blood and hearing that you are catatonic.”

She growled through a smile. “Remind me not to play chess with you. You had me both ways.”

“No chess, huh? How about Twister?”


Sookie was back… so was her usually playful mood…

The way her eyes sparkled as she imagined… the way she bit her lip…

It hurt to ignore it.

Later. Fun later.



Wybert was sitting across the table from Jason. All they needed was Bubba and they’d have one hell of a think tank. Pencil versus crayon: the great crossword conundrum.

Adele was still pacing the kitchen floor and moved in a sudden (not to mention surprising) burst of energy to swallow Sookie in a hug. “I was so worried!”

“I’m fine. Pam got the worst of it… I just needed a few minutes to settle down.”

“Oh, God bless her! Eric, how is she?”

It was still astounding how well she understood our state of being. “She’s weak. She’s mostly healed though. She’ll be back to being a brat by the time she rises tomorrow.”

“So you’re going to get her right? Bring her home? How about Hadley?”

“The queen may very well want to keep Hadley nearby, but if she stays I’ll have her call you.”

“Those poor things! I hate… I… I’m so…”

Sookie hugged her again. “It’s ok, Gran. They’re going to be fine. We shouldn’t be gone long.”

The poor woman nodded as she stepped back, letting us tend to business even though she just wanted everyone to stay close.


Wybert held the door to the limo open for us when we arrived at the queen’s home.

Sookie was smiling at him, far more relaxed than she had been when dealing with his idiotic sibling earlier.

He practically growled, “You kicked my brodder.”

Sookie’s head tilted slightly, just before her foot hammered into his shin. “There. Now you won’t feel neglected.”

His fangs ran out, but the corners of his mouth betrayed him. He was just as amused by her as Sigebert. “Not smart.”

“Maybe not, but your 800, give or take, and I managed to surprise you both.”


“So shut up. It’s been a long night.” Especially considering that her day was spent in captivity.

He gave a deep nod. “Yes ma’am.”

It took every bit of control I had…


Pam would have opened herself up again laughing at the look on his face.


Andre was waiting just inside the ‘grand’ entry with a collection of guards.

“Miss Stackhouse, I’m to thank you for your diligence.”

“Then I’ll have to thank the queen for ordering you to be polite. How is she?”

He snarled and looked to me. “Is she always so tart?”

“Only when she’s been bled on by family and forced to stab an attacker to death.”

“Very well… She was quite right about the weapons. The guards found several nets and stakes.”

She rolled her eyes. “Congratulations… Are the donors all in one place?”

“Yes. They’re in the… dining room.”

Sookie smirked at him. “Is there even a table in there?”

The bastard actually smiled at her wit. “No, but we call the pool a ‘fondue pot’.”

Her grip on my hand tightened as she laughed. “You should get a sauna and call it a rotisserie… Alright, let’s get me to work. My grandmother is on pins and needles at home and isn’t going to be happy until she sees for herself that Pam is ok.”

He started leading the way, stunned (as was the growing trend when it came to the unique clan). “Your… your grandmother is worried for Miss Ravenscroft?”

She smiled at him innocently. “Of course she is. Gran is a nurturer. Loves to dote. I’ll bet she’s putting fresh sheets on Pam’s bed as we speak. Life would be easier for her if Pam were human. She’d be baking. Hell, she’s probably doing that anyway.”

He stared with a raised eyebrow until he almost walked into an opening door.


The din of discontent behind the door to the ‘dining room’ fell to a complete hush as the bolts were opened. Andre had sealed the room.

The doors were barely cracked before I worried that there might be a problem. Dozens.

The donors and pets of every fucking vampire for miles had been collected into that one room.


Sookie visibly winced.

“Is there a problem, Miss Stackhouse?”

“This is all of them?” She doubted herself.

He nodded. “Every last one.”

She took a deep breath and waltzed into the room like the queen herself. The world stopped as far as the inhabitants of the room were concerned. Most of the livestock had hopeful looks despite being herded and caged. Cattle. Cattle begging to be milked. It would have been depressing if their individual depravities weren’t so essential to vampires.

Sookie’s arm snaked around mine, freeing her hand to bring up her purse and seek out a cell phone. She smiled up at me and hit redial.

Andre and I immediately heard the vibration of a cell phone coming from the far corner.

“You can start with the platinum blonde in latex. That was the number the man was on the line with just after he attacked.” She handed the spy’s phone over to Andre.

He gave her an impressed nod and waved to a guard who quickly snatched the fangbanger to the hall. “And?”

Sookie looked up to narrow her eyes at me, no doubt because there were 3 ‘familiar faces’ in the crowd. When she cleared her throat and turned back to Andre, the fucker chuckled in my direction.

She nodded towards a lounge chair. “The man in red mesh and blue jeans…. And the nude one in the pool… well, the nude one with fang marks tattooed on his butt.”

Andre snapped his fingers and the guards quickly snatched them up to take them away. “Is that all of them?”

She closed her eyes in focus, her grip increasing. “The blond man on the couch… Shit.”


“Someone isn’t here. The three in the hall are all worried about him. Black man, mid twenties. Jorge… and uh…”

“Miss Stackhouse, I’m not a patient man.”

“Really? You don’t say.” She reached back into her purse and pulled out a pen, then yanked his hand from his side to write, ‘the guard who grabbed the mesh shirt’.

He gave her an almost apologetic nod when he realized that the vampire guard’s hearing is what had given her pause. Dick. Diffident or not, he’s still a rankling fuck. “Is that the end of our hit parade?”

“That depends. How do you feel about the… Fellowship of the Sun?”

“They have spies here?”

She nodded and pointed them out brazenly. “Leather corset and fish nets… Frizzy brunette with blue nails. A third one who works the switchboard… Jonah.”

“I questioned my queen for paying you so well.”

“Don’t worry. I doubt this will humble you.”

He snapped, “PMS.”

“Vitamins will help that….” I started laughing. I was given a ‘frightening’ glare by Andre while Sookie snickered at him. “…Even though I’m being a fly in your ointment, could I see my cousin briefly before we take Pam home to rest?”

He snorted at her as he led us out…

Just as Sookie treated him like she would any pompous prick…

…He proved her point by behaving like one.


He gave her another impressed nod when Sookie told him that the terrified captives knew of ‘more’ spies.

We were led through the ‘confessional’… through the throne room… no waiting… directly into the queen’s private apartment.

Pam and Hadley were lounging with the queen, quite pink and freshly bathed.

Sophie-Ann stood immediately, leaving Pam and Hadley behind to blaze a path directly to Sookie and take her hand… and kiss it.

She kissed Sookie’s hand.

The queen.

And if Andre could shit… he’d have shit butterflies as the queen thanked her.

Sookie took the act in better stride than I did.

She gave a little laugh. “Majesty, really… I didn’t do anything…”

Sophie-Ann straightened slowly with a very serious look. “You thought quickly enough that Hadley and Pam were both able to feed right away. They would have…”

“…Been fine for the extra minute it took Eric to get there… Do you think you can arrange to have the rest of your humans waiting early tomorrow night? I’d like to make it back so that Gran can finally get that ghost walk in. We’d only have a couple of hours.”

Sophie-Anne smiled at her. “I didn’t have to ask.”

“Why would you? Even if Arkansas wasn’t proving to be a thorn in our collective derrières, it’s my job.”

She raised an eyebrow. “I have to ask Andre to be polite.”

Sookie giggled. “Yeah, but it’s against his nature to be charming.”

Sophie-Ann laughed. “You’re right about that. Is there anything else you need?”

“My Gran would sleep a lot better hearing from Hadley.”

“Done. A car will be waiting for you at sunset.”

Sookie smiled and walked over to hug Hadley… then held her hand out to Andre. “No hard feelings?”

He barely acknowledged her peace offering with a shake and it visibly pained him to do that much.

She giggled at him. “Seriously… Iron will help with the PMS… I hear Texans eat plenty of red meat… Maybe you should find one for dinner tomorrow night.”


Pam waited until we were in the car before she lost her grip. She’d been trembling in her effort to not make matters worse by laughing.

“You are going to get yourself killed!”

“That’s funny?”

“At the moment… absolutely!”

“You didn’t think I was funny earlier.”

Pam straightened. Stiffened might be the more accurate word. My interest piqued… “What’s this? What did Sookie do earlier?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sookie sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. “I embarrassed her on accident. She’s mad because you ordered her not to do that to me so she couldn’t get me back.”

“Sookie, how did you ever manage to embarrass Pam? My Pam?” No fucking way. I’m calling the newspaper.

“Hot Chocolate has very helpful salesmen.”

I couldn’t have been more amused.  “Sweet innocent Sookie, I need more details.”

Pam snarled for me to ‘drop it’. Not if my ‘life’ depended on it. Not after the way she’s been needling me about my feelings for Sookie.

Sookie smirked. “The salesman offered a demonstration of some spinning… the damn contraption looked like a deranged toothbrush and I told him ‘no thank you, I have a man.”

“How did that embarrass Pam?”

“It didn’t. He replied with ‘so do I’ and that he had one of his own… I felt sorry for him and gave him a hug…”

Pam cut her off. “She didn’t just give him a damn hug! He cried and ran to the back room when she sympathized that it must be like needing to push start a new car to have a boyfriend and still need ‘appliances’!”

Sookie beamed watching me laugh… so much fun! I felt robbed that she was only born 25 years ago.

Pam was nonplussed until the very end of my outburst, very aware that I was still endlessly amused… not to mention proud. “Are you done?”

“I don’t know. How was the rest of your trip?”

She bit her bottom lip… “A second salesperson tried to help by showing her another toy…”

Sookie scoffed. “Oh come on! That embarrassed you too? You’re thin-skinned for a vampire!”

“You asked where the rest of it was, Sookie!”

They sniped back and forth… I chuckled, enjoying the show. How well they were getting along wasn’t getting by me in the least. “It didn’t seem anatomically correct!”

“The brand name was ELEPHANT!”

Sookie sorted. “Then no wonder they’re endangered.”

Pam hissed, “Spoiled.”

“Probably.” Sookie tilted her head, practically daring Pam to counter.

“You’re not funny.”

“I’m not a lot of things.”

“You’re going to do your best to get the last word, aren’t you?”

“I bet I win.”

“I have more practice.”

“I have an ace in the hole.”

“Oh really… What would that be?”


Pam locked up for a moment before raising her eyebrow and conceding with a nod.

She’d done it. Sookie had won the unwinnable. She had gotten Pamela to shut her mouth… without the use of glue, clamp, lock, harness or threat.


The two of them had sat quietly, smiling at each other for the rest of the ride.

Pam’s only other words were to ask if we should stop at Hadley’s to retrieve the car as we pulled up to our house. She would have driven it home, but was quite relieved to find out that we’d already taken care of it… While I could have gotten Sookie home much faster by flying, I was worried that she’d been too fragile for that bombshell at the time.

As I reached for the door knob to the house, it was yanked away. Adele had been waiting, watching, pacing… still.

Jason was standing just behind her, still offering a pretense of support. At least he hadn’t given up knowing that he was useless. That much could be said for the feeble boy. I had truly expected to find him sprawled out on the couch, blissfully dreaming about hiding acorns.

Adele took Pam by surprise, thanking her for her part in Sookie and Hadley’s safety as Sophie-Ann had recognized Sookie’s contribution. The major difference being that Adele was surrounding Pam in a long, warm hug.

“I owe you so much for keeping my grandbabies safe. You have no idea! I’m so grateful for you. How are you? Are you alright? You look good. You fed?”

I might have enjoyed the serene feeling coming from Pam too much as she returned Adele’s hug as though she was her own grandmother. “As it turns out, Sookie and I made quite a team. We had one another’s backs… Adele, are you making bread pudding?”

“Don’t laugh. You were Brittish. It’s the only… it’s the only thing I could think of. I can open windows if the smell…”

Pam smiled and kissed Adele’s cheek. “Don’t be silly. It smells phenomenal. You even made brandy sauce… It’s a good thing Eric wasn’t injured though. I don’t even want to think about what horrid things those barbarians enjoyed. Honey cured ox ears or something of likewise repugnance.” Already being a twat? Almost funny, but still shitty… especially since barbarians were well before my time and nowhere near my homeland.

Adele smiled. “I actually thought about that while I was keeping myself busy… I have a recipe for a pie… the whole house smells like warm molasses and figs when I make it. It might have done the job.” It would have and I actually found myself curious about it.

She put her arm behind Pam’s back and led us into the kitchen.

No sooner than Pam sat at the table (in the chair Jason pulled out for her), Tina jumped into her lap. Adele smiled and set out the desserts for the humans. “I think she missed you. She’s been restless for a while now… Hadley already called. She sounded really good. She said that you guys are going back tomorrow night for a little bit and she’d come back with you so she could do the tour with us.”

Jason. Confused. Let’s all pretend to be surprised. “Y’all gonna be up for that though? I mean… y’all were stabbed.”

I was surprised that Pam had the charity left to humor him. Her respect for Adele may very well have been as much her catalyst as it was mine. She smiled at him, leaning back to reveal her stomach and the pink remainder of her wound (and slight bulge from being quite well fed). “We were technically slashed… We were taken to the palace quickly and we fed from donors to help our healing.”

“Donors? Holy shit! How many?”

She smirked at him. “Sweetie, they’re still alive. Hadley needed more because she’s so much younger, but it could be compared to giving blood to the Red Cross.”

He half frowned in skepticism. “You give out orange juice and cookies?”

“The queen has a full staff that feeds them far better than that.”

“What about at home? You like… glamour them?” It was ill timed, but his curiosity was refreshing considering his previous perch atop his suspicions.

“No. It’s more than frowned on. Pathetic as they are, most of our customers arrive in the hopes of being lucky enough to get fed from for one psychiatric reason or another.”

“Like groupies at a rock concert?” And when Weres and Shifters go public, I’m sure there will no shortage of sycophants lining up for ‘doggie style’

She nodded. “Sadly.”

He snorted. “So y’all just… like, wait for dinner to come to y’all?… Ain’t that some shit. Everything I ever heard that wasn’t in some movie has y’all lurking in back allies… draining bums and hookers.”

“It happens, but usually as an act of desperation. Most of us are civilized to not eat from the garbage.”

He nodded almost astutely. Even in his lack of wisdom, he seemed to grasp things more easily as he was reeducated about his prejudices.

Pondering Jason’s conduct (of all things) reminded me of Bill’s comment after his civil war prattling… ‘Might not be completely human’.

Sookie’s flavor… her ability… her tolerance… oh fuck.


Pam stared as I worked through the process of elimination…

Weres don’t have abilities other than heightened senses… no.

Goblins and elves could be excluded based on Sookie’s beauty alone… no.

A witch? Paulette might have mentioned feeling some absurd ‘sister ship’ to one of them… no.

Daemons have abilities, but even a distant relation would have an acidic burn to their blood… no.

But the Fae…

Those trouble making, devious, hypnotic, delectable creatures…


I doubted if the queen would even confirm it if she knew.

Would it even matter? Sookie would be the same with substantiation… I’d still love her… company.

I can’t say that finding proof would change anything except perhaps… no. nothing.

The temptation, the allure of the Fae aside… Sookie doesn’t taste like Fae… just extra human…

She doesn’t smell like Fae… only of sunshine with hints of sugar…

It could be… It could very well be that she is Fae, but I was attracted to her before I smelled her, tasted her, fucked her…

Before any of that, I was… refreshed by her.

Sookie, her family, having a distant Fae relation would make no more difference than their discovery that Pam had tricked me into taking a candle-making class in the 60s…

No difference.

She’s still the Sookie I’ve come to… adore.

…But fuck!


It was after three when we all decided to make our way to get some unanimously needed rest. Jason joked from the bottom of the stairs that he was going to end up on ‘vampire hours’ by the time we were all back home.

Sookie was saying an affectionate goodnight to Adele when Pam went into her room… and then darted out again to interrupt the Stackhouse women by hugging Adele.

The only thing said was a shared ‘thank you’ before Pam disappeared into her room again without explanation… and Adele only grinned before she followed suit.

Sookie disappeared into the bathroom with a bag she’d retrieved from the car before our retreat…

My interest was pulled to the closed door while I undressed myself and climbed into bed…

Anxiously waiting.

When the door opened I felt as though I was being rewarded for something…

Sookie twisted her hair up, leaving her shoulders bare save for the tiny straps to her pale blue slip…

The same untainted heavenly blue of her eyes…

Sheer, iridescent and hugging her breasts perfectly and followed her curves and hips as a shimmering second skin…

She smiled, blushing when my fangs ran out and took a step to turn…

The back was obscenely, deliciously low… her perfectly matched panties; making me jealous, taunting me from her between…

If she hadn’t started crossing the floor… crawling up my body from the end of the bed… I could have considered myself haunted.

She pressed the silky flesh of her cheek against me as she inched her way along… breathing, kissing, tickling… stopping with our lips so close that I could feel them ghost against my own.

“I’d ask if you like it, but…”

“I’m more than fond of it… Sookie, I might actually dream about it.” I would certainly fantasize about it… often.

I trailed my hands up to appreciate how perfectly her ass fit into them, pulling her down to me…

She smiled, taking my lip between her teeth… dragging them along before settling to me for a long, almost painful, kiss.

Nearly raw from the demanding evening… emotionally, physically…

Remembering the nearly perfect feeling… the rightness I felt before my senses came to me to find that I’d been holding her down all day.

The recollection compelled me to glance at the clock despite how welcome Sookie’s attentions were.

She took my chin, yanking my attention back to her. She whispered, “Eric, stop.”

I let my eyes roll back as she did her best to sidetrack me… pressing herself into my cock… running her tongue over my throat… I was losing… “Sookie, I don’t want to hurt you.”

I quit fighting to keep my eyes focused and closed them when she hummed against my neck, she purred, “With all the complaining I do, don’t you think I’d say something?

“You couldn’t move.”

She lifted her face just enough to show me how serious she was. “Poor Sookie, caught in the avalanche of a man who wants to take care of such a pain.”

“You’re forgiving me?”

Nothing to forgive.”

I tried. So help me, I opened my mouth to try… to say something, but she took the chance… flicking her tongue over my lip… moaning into my mouth… shifting her hips…

Convincing me to forget…

To let go…

The only grip I had on my control was resting in my fingers’ twist in her panties that too easily pulled apart…

And the moment I felt her slick pulse take hold of my cock…

She won.

I rolled us over, tangling us together…




Oh so grateful…

And realizing that nothing had ever tasted so sweet.


I enjoyed the vibration as her breathing slowly returning to normal, particularly the scattered chuckle as her chest heaved against my side.

Her shivers slowly made way to her satisfied hum, restfully breathing as she drifted off.

I found myself trapped in my own right. Replaying every moment I’d spent with her in my mind and trying to pinpoint the moment I lost.

Searching for one reason, one moment to blame for why I would be so captivated…

My attempt only made me wonder further.

All I could gather is that, at the moment, I was comfortable being enthralled.

Enthralled in a seemingly level scenario.

And I tried… but couldn’t find a way that I was suffering.


Feeling the pull of dawn, I dealt with my neglected lists.


You most likely don’t need me to tell you how pleased we all are with your services. Even Jason has mentioned how friendly you are. Thank you for that. Their enjoyment is very important to me and you have been a very big part of that. Adele wonders if she could fit you in her luggage. She assures me that with her cooking, she could ‘put some meat on your bones’ in no time.

Other than replenishing Adele’s stockpile of baking supplies, the only task I require is a jeweler. I need the store to be available either just before dawn tomorrow or just after dark the following night so that I might do my browsing on my own. In secret.

My many thanks,




Your short list.

This shouldn’t be too difficult for you. Try to keep up.

  • I want a full page ad placed in the Entertainment section of the Shreveport Times.  Re-cycle the add from the opening and tailor it to a ‘re-opening’ for next Friday night. Have it run until Friday.
  • Place the usual ad in the Employment section of the Shreveport Times for wait staff and bartenders. Applications will be taken on Thursday night. Have it run until Thursday.
  • Contact your choice of television reporter and hire them to film a piece in front of Fangtasia:

Haley’s Comet only appears once every 75 years. It took the Boston Red Sox 84 years to win the World Series. This week, a truly spectacular event has occurred in Louisiana. For the first time in more than three hundred years, Fangtasia’s own, Pamela Winifred Dolores Ravenscroft was at a loss for words. The notorious blabbermouth with a penchant for exotic wigs and wearable hemp surrendered ‘last word’ tonight in a dramatic defeat. Miss Ravenscroft is co-owner of Fangtasia and typically enjoys entertaining curious club goers by eagerly answering the inquiries as a venue for her chatter. The management has formally invited anyone interested to interview the proud gossip who claims she will not fall to defeat again anytime soon. Miss Ravenscroft was unavailable for comment, but a spokesman for the local night club stated that she was too humiliated to issue an official statement. Good luck on regaining your title of ‘Friendliest Vampire’, Miss Ravenscroft. Shreveport is rooting for you.

Give the reporter license to embellish. Email it to me when it’s finished.

E. Northman


Sookie cleared her throat, slapping my side. “I doze off for just a minute and you’re already being evil.”

“This is what happens when I get bored.”

“That name is horrible. At least get rid of that.”

That name is horrible which is why she changed it to Pamela.”

She cackled. “Oh. My. God. That’s… Like her parents weren’t brutal enough… you’ve been playing jokes on her for 300 years.”

“Do you have a better idea? Perhaps I could just announce her engagement to… Jason?”

She giggled into my side. “That would be hilarious, but you should hold off.”

“What am I waiting for?”

“When we get home we can go to Wal-Mart and register them… cheap scratchy towels, hunting gear… her house could be full of Jeff Foxworthy DVDs, camping toilets and Paula Dean cookware in a couple of days.”

“You are perfection. Promise you’ll help?”

“Only if you let me take a picture of you with the Wal-Mart greeter… Smiling.”

That was a dispensation I could ‘live’ with even if she was thinking about using it as blackmail later on… I held my hand out to shake on our ‘deal’.

She took my phone from me and deleted the ‘news’ before sending it to Bobby, reached across me to connect it to the charger…

Then Sookie rolled away from me, taking my other arm and wrapping herself in me… not unlike how we were when I rose…

“Sookie, as much as I…”

“I like it.”


Her warm breath fell over my arm as she yawned. “I couldn’t feel safer.”


She hummed, snuggling back closer to me. “Noooooo… protected… sheltered… cherished. You can buy crap all night long if you want to… as long as I get this… I’m happy.”




42 thoughts on “Chapter 18: Comforted

  1. Please tell me you were joking about the break!!! Please…please…please with a cherry on top!!!
    At least give us a date when you’ll come back to it, otherwise I may go into a meltdown.
    I love your other stories but this one…this one is seriously pure genius.
    This chapter was amazing, I loved the way Sookie reacted to the killing. The shin kicking was hilarious and Andre well…LMAO!!!
    More Pam is always a great thing, you do an amazing job writing her.
    Will be praying that Eric nags you into writing more soon. 😉

  2. Oh, poor Pam! She is such an easy target to be picked on. Love it! I love how Sookie just couldn’t leave Wybert feeling left out so she had to kick his shin, too 🙂

    Nice work on picking out the spies. And loved Eric’s realization Sooks probably has Fae in her blood 🙂 I look forward to updates on your other stories, but will miss this one, of course. Couldn’t you clone yourself and write them all at once? Just kidding!!! I will take any update I get from you happily, hon! They are all fabulous!

  3. I love it every time. Geez, they gotta figure out a way to live in the same place. I love Sookie getting the last word with Pam – freaking hilarious. Oh and Andre with PMS – heehehehee. I also LOVE Sookie & Eric working as a team. You are the best. Need to hear it again? You are the best.

  4. Is there anyway someone can turn Gran? She’s too precious to let “pass on”. Winifred Dolores?! That’s awful- lol :o)

  5. Sad to hear that you’re taking a break from this one because I’m completely hooked. However, I love!!!! your other stories too, so I’ll be happy to read those while witing for this one.

    I had to fight not to laugh out loud in several spots, so not to wke the house up. Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this with us. I’m sure I’ll have read it at least once more before you put the next chapter out.

  6. It’s like everybody expanded their characters to make them bigger than normal. Andre is nastier, the “Bert” brothers are thicker, Sophie-Anne is more gracious, Hadley is more invisible, Pam is snarkier, Gran is more cuddly, Sookie is braver, Eric is better than best, but Jason, is out of character, he may be getting smart.

    Thank you for the chapter. I love all your stories, so I won’t get my panties in a twist, while you update them.
    Special request for L&D, I want to go to NYC with them, have fun at Christmas and attend the wedding.

  7. what can i say?
    love love love!!!
    and while there were tears shed over the break in BTW, as long as i get to read anything of yours, i’m euphoric!!

    cant wait for more…. of anything!!!

  8. Love it!!!! Pam was silenced! HAHA

    How often does THAT happen?I am very pleased with Sophie being kind to Sookie for saving Hadley. Sookie would have done that no matter what I think but it is nice the Sookie is being thanked for doing something so brave. I don’t honestly know what I would do. 😦

    You have another superb chapter. I will miss Bored to Death, but as long as you aren’t taking a break from ALL writing, then I will still love you. 🙂

    Thank you so much for all the writing you do.

  9. i just have 2 words for this perfect chapter…Sookie and Pam….LMAO…that shit was genius…i will miss this while you are working on your other stories but i must say i do miss L&D..

  10. Great chapter-I’m still addicted. I get needing to focus on your other stories-but please don’t take too long or my withdrawl will become intolerable-though I will still enjoy the other story updates while waiting 😉
    I really love this Eric and Sookie-and getting more of Adele has been really fun. Just bringing her into the story so much is very different from anything else I’ve read on any site.
    I’ll be waiting on pins and needles for the updates to start again!

  11. I loved every single bit of it, as always, but I have to admit my attention is focussed on wondering what Eric wants at the jeweller’s shop. I hope you don’t keep us waiting too long before we find out; I’m selfish that way.

  12. another awesome chapter…thank you 🙂 i totally love how Sookie & Pam go at it and Eric just eats it up. oh and i like how the Berts react to Sookie…two more for her fan club. but the kicker was, “Only if you let me take a picture of you with the Wal-Mart greeter… Smiling.” classic!!

    that Viking is killing me! he loves her, but refuses to admitt it :p every time he said he loved her, he had to add a classifier at the end…seriously?! he admitted that he would turn her cuz he couldn’t live without her!! just admitt it and life will be so much easier for all of us 😉

  13. Dang it….this is the best crack hit I’ve had so far…lol…this was a totally awesome chappie and each new one becomes my ‘absolute fave’….looking for more ‘hits’ 😉

  14. I had to laugh at the “crack” comment, but I guess you know that is exactly what it seems to be, this story is amazing, I loved how she handled Wybert, and pulled Andre down just a notch, and what she does for Eric but letting him know that she trusts and needs him. I hope the hiatus from this isn’t long, of course I will be reading whatever you write, all your stories are wonderful and I’ll take an update or new story anyday. Have a wonderful holiday and I’ll be waiting like a junkie haunting your site or re-reading stories until the next update.

  15. I don´t mind if you give this story a little break as long as you post in your other jewels,though I´ll miss it,that´s for sure.
    And,well….Pam silenced and the consequent little revenge was priceless.Oh! And I do love me some Adele.She´d hit it off with my mother very well.
    Thanks for posting.

  16. Such a good chapter! I loved Bobby’s list – even if Sookie did delete it. I too will miss the updates, but c’est la vie! I can’t complain. I do love all of your work. Good job on the chapter.

  17. Not a break! I’m addicted to your story and the thought of not having a fix for lord knows how long is brutal… 😦

    Sookie getting the last word on Pam is hilarious – ‘sunrise’! LOL!

  18. I’m not going to think about you not updating BTD while you TLC you other stories… I’ll think about L&D and maybe a S&S Bonus. Thanksgiving. Rachael and Lexie meet the Stackhouse clan. Wedding in NYC. Whatever you write about will be wonderful! 😀

    As always, another excellent BTD chapter!! I love Gran so much in this story… always makes me think of my Gran, who was also a Steel Magnolia. 😀

    Thanks for sharing with us… you are the best! 😀

  19. Loved it. An amazing chapter. Sorry to see it take a break, but will be waiting for you to start back up.
    Will be reading your other stories. You a truley an amazing writer.

  20. OMG!! I don’t think I can wait too long. I’ll go into withdrawal. Please don’t stay away from BTD too long.!!

  21. I understand needing a break to work on other projects. However, I must let you know I look forward to my laughing out of my chair and scaring my dogs. Like hugs, laughter is required at least three times a day, on the days you post I end up with an excess of both. Extra hugs from my husband and extra laughter from your stories.

    You and ineedcoffee have the best Sookie/Eric stories going.

  22. I too can live through a BTD break if it means some welcome updates to your other stories – I mean when you started BTD I was obsessing on the end of S&S, so Im sure I’ll cope, especially as you left them all in a pretty good place !
    Something I particularly noticed this chapter and I realised its something that makes all your stories stand out, is the affection between our protagonists. Lots of stories have good sex scenes and good snarky Pam comments, but not many come close to the affection that your characters share. I love them all and you for sharing them !

  23. You my dear are simply wonderful!
    PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE look into self publishing, I PROMISE I would be first in/online to buy!!!

  24. I love all your stories… I love how you write from Eric’s perspective… You stories always have me in stitches after rading them… You’re my hero… Looking forward to more…

  25. BTD is my absolute favourite story right now. Good God but your dialogue is absolutely brilliant–even Eric’s internal musings. That bit between Sookie and Andre had me cackling aloud like a lunatic! And Sookie kicking both behemoths in the same night..hysterical. I bet even Charlaine would be laughing her butt off over this story. Please don’t make us wait too long or we’ll all explode! Yes, we appreciate the others, but this one is the trophy winner.

  26. You rock!!! I loved it and look forward to when you return to BTD!!! However, I’m looking forward to the other updates you will be cracking!!

  27. Great job, please do no take a long break from BTD!! I love the story and I can’t wait for your return.
    I love Sookie’s action with the Bert Brothers. It seems eric is gong to learn about Sookie Fae blood, very soon!

  28. A great chapter – I love the way she put Andre in his place – best line was Andre shitting butterflies! Thanks for writing and we will take whatever story you give us and enjoy it! You are the best.

  29. I doubt that you would have Eric do it, or even that she would want it, but it seems a shame that a person as good and kind as Adele’s should end in death. If he turned her, we’d always have her, plus, the turning, and maybe some regular feedings of vampire blood would keep her aches and pains away. It sounds like ibuprofen without the side effects. She could run her branch of the DGD forever, and learn all the history she could ever want.

    I loved Pam’s response to Adele, it was as if she was her own Gran.

  30. This story is one of my favorites.. but truly everything you write is simply fantastic.. and if following you to wordpress is what i must do i will.. i just need my fix of your writing that bad!!!

  31. Oh my gosh! I’m still laughing my butt off! Hands down. You’re the queen of wits,twisted, and God’s unfair gifted among as peeps of pure unduluted sense of humor. Please stay and don’t get tired in keeping us amused. That’s me saying keep up not just good but really great work! Let me know when you decided to published a book, coz I definetly will buy it.

  32. EVERYTHING about this story just keeps getting better and better. I don’t know how you do it, but you are the awesomesauce!

    I understand the need to work on your other stories, and I’m glad that you are…cause they’re amazing too! Please don’t torture us too severely, though. Bored to Death is special. You can see that we all feel that way, and, as much as we LOVE your other stories, this one holds a VERY special place in our hearts. This story is MAGICAL…it transcends what’s usually found in FanFiction. This story will long be remembered as one of the “Best of the Best.” You’ve definitely raised the bar for the FanFiction genre.

  33. What can I say that hasn’t already been said.
    Announcing Pam and Jason’s engagement. That is devious but brilliant. Love it!

  34. Would it even matter? Sookie would be the same with substantiation… I’d still love her… company… Nice save there Eric to keep yourself in denialville 😉

    Great chapter.

  35. Re-reading in readiness for the new extras 🙂

    Just in case i don’t say enough, you are a brilliant writer. Wish there was a way to convert this so could read it on my kindle when i don’t have internet. So much fun!

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