I woke up to a knock on the bedroom door.
“Who is it?”
“The guy you kept up all night.” What an asshole. I still laughed.
“What do you want?”
“Betty Crocker sent me to get you. Breakfast is ready.”
“I’m up.” I sat up on the side of the bed and rubbed my eyes as I heard my dickhead partner intentionally stomp down the hall. As my senses came to me, I realized that it was 8am on Sunday. Moving Day. I started feeling excited right away. I smiled at the empty room. Sookie’s room, but when we get home tonight… Our room. I laughed to myself at how retarded I was about this. I could rattle off a list of more than a dozen guys who would shoot themselves in the foot to avoid moving in with a woman, but me? I’m the guy they’ll be making fun of, calling me pussy whipped. Fuck them. They’d only do it until they met her, then they’d understand.
My thrilled thoughts mingled with the sounds and smells of breakfast. I heard muffled chatter coming from the kitchen and smelled food. I just couldn’t tell what. I looked at the end of the bed and Sookie had, again, put my clothes out for me. I smiled again. Perfect.
When I rounded the corner to the kitchen, Sookie was standing at the stove. Today she was wearing blue dickies that sat low on her hips, a tight khaki wife beater (no bra- ungh) and blue plaid vans. She looked up and gave me a sexy smile with her good morning. I gave her a long kiss before I made myself a cup of coffee and by the time I was done she was holding a plate up for me. It was piled high with sausage, bacon, eggs and French toast (with lots of cinnamon). Oh god. I could really get used to this. Having someone wait on me because they care instead of because they get paid to do it… heaven.
I stared at my plate as I went to sit down, still awed by the hominess. I smiled at Ame and told her and the kids good morning then turned around and grabbed the apple butter from the door of the fridge and started smearing it on my French toast. Sookie brought her plate over and sat on my leg to eat and we both watched as Alcide and Amelia swapped dirty looks back and forth. I actually found myself feeling guilty for being so fucking happy while their marriage fell apart. As much as Alcide’s cheating had a part in where they are now, they’d been at each other’s throats for months before the wandering started. He wouldn’t talk about it, but there were plenty of ‘those’ phone calls where he’d pull the car over and get out to pace a sidewalk while they yelled at each other.
Sookie tried to diffuse the unknown situation by telling Amelia about a website that she could use to pick colors for the new house. It would give her a color number and Alcide could get the paint in Shreveport and we would help him paint. Amelia wasn’t in the mood to talk about it and Alcide was faking his interest poorly, but the awkward small talk was still there.
And once the kids were out of the room, Sookie dropped her manners.
She lifted her foot and nudged Alc’s leg. “You’re bringing me down, butt munch. You pouting about the noise we made last night?”
He laughed. “No. I did call Jack Hannah though. He’ll be mounting cameras in your habitat this week.” I spared a chuckle.
When Sookie was done laughing… “I’m sorry anyway. If that’s not the prob, what is?”
Amelia declared that ‘nothing’s wrong’, but Alcide knew better. “Amelia has decided that I must be fucking you.” Amelia looked mortified and kicked him under the table.
Sookie nearly choked on her coffee. “Why?”
Alcide laughed. “She says I’m in too good a mood.”
Sookie giggled then turned to look at Ame. “I guess it’s a good thing you got here when you did. Blue balls are a great remedy for a good mood.”
Amelia’s look became crazed. “Excuse me?!”
Sookie raised her voice. “I guess you have ‘club ear’. He doesn’t have to be fucking anyone to not be pissy.”
“What am I supposed to think? Y’all have been playing house for a couple of days and now he’s in a good mood.”
“You’ve got it twisted, honey. He isn’t in a good mood because he’s been playing house with me. That’s Eric excuse. Alc is in a good mood because he’s finally making headway on a case, become a charter member of the Shreveport PTF and he has to answer his phone in order to get treated like shit.”
“Who do you think you are? You don’t know him.”
Sookie huffed. “I know him well enough to know he loves his kids and I know the only woman he’s touched in Bon Temps is in the morgue. How long do you think he’ll let you emotionally try and convict him of cheating before he realizes that double jeopardy is attached? He’s completely fuckable. He’s ripped like a Bowflex commercial, he’s got sexy green bedroom eyes with those long eyelashes, he’s funny as all hell and he’s smart. You need to start treating him like a human before he starts thinking like the dog you paint him as; some woman WILL come along and do it for you. I already have a short list of candidates for when he comes to his senses. It’s ‘shit or get off the pot’ time.” What the fuck? Sookie just pretended that Alcide wasn’t already guilty of cheating. Sookie felt me tense up and put her hand on my knee. I suppose she wanted me to shut up and let it play out… Shit.
“You need to watch it.”
Sookie started laughing wryly as she got up and started clearing dishes. “If I didn’t love Eric, I wouldn’t have to try hard to take Alcide from you. Here’s a random thought: The next time he’s late coming home from work, why not worry about his safety. You really are shaping up to be the stereotypical insecure wife; paranoid that a long shift is an affair instead of trying to catch a killer or rapist. Just fucking hug him and be happy he made it home at all. He’s never admitted to anything. You’ve never been approached by ‘another woman’. Anyone who’s taken psych 101 would swear that you’re projecting your own guilt onto him. Basically, you’re fucking up an eight year marriage based on your daddy issues. Stupid twat.”
Amelia got up and stormed to the bathroom and I sat there, stunned. I watched Sookie go over to Alcide and put her arms around his shoulders and give him a peck on the cheek.
“I know you wanted to say something, but you did good.”
He reached up and patted her arm. “Thanks… But did you have to call her a stupid twat?”
She stood up and mussed his hair. “No. That was just for fun.”
…Did she just say she loves me?…
Sookie brought our attention to the clock and we needed to get a move on. She sent Alcide and I to load the kids up and make sure our cars were all set while she cleaned the kitchen. As it turned out, when Alcide called her Betty Crocker this morning it was because she’d gotten up early and made cookies and put together snacks for the kids and packed a lunch for us because she knew I’d have jack shit for groceries at my place. She even thought to hide a key for Pam and text her to let her know where it was.
In spite of the breakfast table mêlée, I was so excited I could shit. Being a Navy brat, I had moved constantly. It seemed like as soon as I was comfortable somewhere, it was time to start packing again, time to say good bye to friends, time to brace myself for all the changes from one area to another. Even my choice of schools was based on my father’s orders and while I chose the FBI, I knew that I’d be handed an assignment eighteen weeks later to God only knows where. This was the first time in my life I’d ever chosen where to live. That, by itself, was a good enough reason to be ecstatic. Knowing that I was going to see Sookie everyday made me a delirious fucking tool with a plastic grin pasted on my face.
No sooner than the engine purred to life, Sookie slid her feet out of her shoes and sat sideways on the bench with her feet in my lap. We decided to take her car because it has a larger trunk and, to be honest, it was in better shape for 700 miles of driving in one day. I rested my hand on the top of her foot as we made our way from Bon Temps to catch 49 South. “So, do you let just anyone drive your car?”
“Psh! This car is no whore. Other than family, you and Alcide are the only ones to ever drive it.”
“Daddy, Jason, Sam, Tara, Lafayette, my cousin and an Ex… That’s it.”
‘An’ ex? Hmmm. “Not even Bill?”
“He drove it once and it wasn’t because I let him. He was mad at me and he took it from the parking lot at school and hid it in a storage unit.”
“He grounded you?” What a controlling fuck-stain.
She laughed. “Yeah. I guess he did.”
“How do you laugh about it?”
She stared at me until I turned to look at her and smiled when our eyes met. “Because, Eric, it’s over.”
“You should be a survivor’s counselor. You’ve been through a lot to be so positive. It almost makes me worry.”
“That it’s a facade? I get that. But Daddy taught me early on to look for the silver lining. It’s part of why he blames himself for so much, for what I put up with. I rebelled when I could, but when I couldn’t get away with it, the silver lining thing really helped.”
“Who taught him how? Was your mother always like that?”
“She’s always been a bitch, waxing and waning like a moon. If you ask her, she’s sweet as pie. Everyone else is moody… Just so you know, it was a shotgun wedding. Jas was born 6 months later.” That explained a lot.
“You know… That’s going to be my father’s first question.”
She started laughing. “And why the hell wouldn’t it be? You never even mentioned a girlfriend and now you have a very suspiciously short engagement to announce. Baby and Green Card would be my 1st two questions.”
I started to chuckle. “I should tell him it’s both. I’ll tell him that you’re Canadian.”
I could see her flash that evil grin of hers. “No poutine for me, thanks. You should tell him that your fiancé is a crazy sexy former Miss Teen Louisiana who comes from good people, teaches history and coaches cheerleading.”
“Then he’ll want to know what you see in me.”
“Don’t mope.” I didn’t realize I was until she said something.
I shrugged. “I wasn’t kidding. He’s a judgmental jerk.”
“Yeah Sweetie, I get that. But from what I’m picking up on, he’s all about appearances. He doesn’t have to know that I hated it as much as you hated being Mr. All American. We really do look like Barbie and Ken together. Blonde hair, blue eyes, athletic and charismatic. The MVP and the beauty queen. Shit, we’d even get an ‘Aryan seal of approval’. Sure, he doesn’t care that we’re ridiculously cerebral and have a nuclear attraction to each other, but I have the pedigree that he’ll be fine with telling people about.”
I couldn’t argue with that. My father would have been fine if I’d married right out of high school as long as the girl had met his shallow standards. “Smom will care though. She’ll be happy that I’m happy. That’s just how she is. She’s going to be calling today. She calls to touch base with me every Sunday when she gets home from church.”
“That’s sweet. So are you going to tell her today or wait a while?”
I glanced over to see if I she would give me hint of the ‘right’ answer. No luck. “I’m telling her today. She’ll put my dad on the line too.”
“And when you’re done, she’ll call your sister and tell her the good news?”
I nodded. “Step sister.”
“You were raised together, right.”
“Not that simple.”
“Then enlighten me.”
“I told you she’s a bitch…” I almost tried to leave it at that, but I knew better than to think Sookie would let me get away with it. Shit. “We were in the same class. We got stationed in Dahlgren between Sophomore and Junior years and with school being out, she trolled the bachelors’ quarters for new ‘friends’. She turned up pregnant at 16 and instead of getting the real father ‘in trouble’ with the command and the law or just telling everyone the truth about not knowing who the baby’s father was, she told everyone it was mine.”
“Yeah. Pretty much. That’s not my only reason to not like her, that’s just one of my best pieces of evidence.”
“You didn’t mention a niece or nephew though.”
“Because there isn’t one. After telling everyone that I knocked her up to protect her ‘baby daddy’, she got an abortion. Why she didn’t just go to the clinic in the first place still pisses me off.”
“Told you so.”
She giggled. “Yes sir, you did. I’m sorry… Will she be at the wedding?”
“Let’s hope not. She’ll hit on Jason, your father, Lafayette, Sam… She might even get confused and make a move on her own husband.”
She laughed, “Okay, okay! I get it. She’s seen more cock than a chicken farmer.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“So… Last night… I promised you an explanation. What do you want to know?”
I took a deep breath, not sure where to start. In the grand scheme of things none of it really mattered. What happened between her and Bill really was over. She’d gotten through it seemingly fine, but curiosity was getting the best of me. “How bad… How often?”
“It was never fun and as often as I asked for it.”
Great. A non-answer. “Asked for it?”
She nodded in all seriousness. “He has a massive inferiority complex. No one likes him. He started trying to control me early on, not realizing that I’m smarter than him or what I can take. The first time he tried to get rough with me I pushed him. Every button he had as a matter of fact. I embarrassed him big time… When he was done, he didn’t talk to me for a month. I realized I was comfortable with the trade off… Things would build up and he’d get to his breaking point… I’d push him again and then I’d get another break from him.”
You’ve got to be kidding me! “You were taking beatings in exchange for the peace in the fallout?”
“There were only a handful of times when he ‘beat me’ for something I didn’t do on purpose. All the little stuff was a slap or punch here and there. Any time he’d rough me up, he’d stay with Lorena or in a hotel for a week or two afterwards… Trust me when I say, the bruises were worth not waking up next to him. And even when he went back to the house, he’d leave me alone.”
“He could have killed you though.”
She didn’t say anything. Not fucking cool.
“Staying was the only option. I controlled what I could.”
“Sookie, what aren’t you telling me?”
She took a deep breath. “Once I was married to him… after our first big fight and the first time he knocked me around, he told me that if I left he’d go after my family. Tara, my cousin, her little boy. Her husband never liked Bill and was deployed at the time and he could have gotten to her easily.” That son of a bitch!
“So you took one for the team?” He threatened the females and children Sookie loves knowing that he was too weak to take down one of the men of her family. That fucking coward.
She simply nodded, her expression was blank.
“And you wanted to have children with him?”
“No!… I want children in general. I love Bill’s father to death… really. He’s as sweet as they come. He had always said that having me for a daughter in law made up for having Bill as a son. Even introduced me like that at a couple of dinner parties. He even bought Mother’s Day cards for me every year… for ‘the mother of his future grandchildren’. He told me he was sick about a month after the wedding. He made me promise to not let his grandchildren end up like Bill.”
I actually smiled. At least there was something positive about being married to that prick. “So it wasn’t that you wanted to have children with Bill. It was that you wanted to give his Dad grandchildren.”
“Yeah. I was probably thinking of Gran at the time since she’d only been gone for a few months. She didn’t get to see but one of her grandkids settle down. You got anything else on your mind?”
I had to think about that… “Where did you live… while you were married?”
“I bought a house in Shreveport. It was closer to his work and the long drive gave me the excuse to stay in Bon Temps with Daddy for some quiet. I gave it to him in the divorce to shut him up about not being able to get his hands on my trust fund. Tom had been adamant about a prenup, not because he was worried that I’d try to get anything out of his estate, but because he knew his son would try and get his hands into the Stackhouse pot.”
“Yeah. My grandparents were well off and Daddy and his brother and sister have done well for themselves. Sheila was obsessed with Bill because he was from the second most established family in the area. Distant second, actually.”
I started to laugh. “Marrying Bill was beneath you?”
She giggled. “That’s what the Junior League tells me.”
“Junior League? You were a DEBUTANT?”
She smiled. “Why not? It was an excellent excuse to dress me up and show me off.”
“How the hell didn’t Jason get sucked in and married off?”
“Because Sheila has this thing. Girls marry young… to older men. She started pushing me when I was 15. Jason was 25. She’d hate you even more if she knew you’re 2 years younger than me. The shame!”
I faked an attempt to laugh it off. “Cradle robber.”
At least she thought it was funny.”
I caught her staring at me thoughtfully. “You’re giving me a look.”
“I want to ask you something, but I don’t want you take it the wrong way.”
Fuck. I wasn’t going to like this. *Tense* “It’s only fair. I can be a good sport.”
She opened her mouth right away, but I watched her close it again for a long while. I was actually amused and alarmed at the same time. I’d seen Sookie speak on taboo topics with practical strangers without a moment’s hesitation, but whatever was on her mind gave her pause. Shit. I was getting antsy so she finally spit it out. “Why are you so hard on Alcide?”
Oh, that was easy. “He treats his wife like shit.”
“You mean the cheating thing?”
My eyes must have been the size of dinner plates. “Yes, I mean the cheating…’thing’. Amelia is…”
“I’ve seen the looks you give him when he jokes around, like any guy would, but you actually get offended.”
“This is insane. How can you defend him? You know what it’s like to be on the other side.”
“No I don’t. I never loved or trusted Bill, but Alcide does know what it feels like to be cheated on.”
What the fuck? How? “Explain that. He’s talked to you? Are you saying that Ame cheated on him?”
She gave me a knowing look, both eyebrows raised. “You only know what he let you see. Guys take it harder when they get cheated on. The ego factor.”
I pulled the car over to the shoulder and put it in park. I wasn’t sure what the fuck to think. My mind didn’t even know where to start trying to wrap around this cluster fuck. “She cheated?”
She gave me another knowing look and nodded.
“He didn’t tell me.”
“How many times do you know of that he cheated?”
“A bunch of times, and every time we grab dinner or drinks he flirts, dances too close, that kind of shit.”
“And how do you know that he cheated?”
“I’ve picked him up for work at hotels. I get texts in the middle of the night that tell me to give him an alibi of ‘working all night, slept on your couch’. The shit happens all the time.”
“So you assumed?”
“Sookie, he has a ‘usual room’ at the Holiday Inn!”
“619. It has a balcony and he can see the back of their house from it.”
Fucking stunned. “Are you saying he’s never cheated?”
“That’s what I’m saying. He flirts because he’s a flirt. He likes the attention… He sure as shit isn’t getting it from his wife. He’s gotten close a couple of times, but he felt like a prick and couldn’t go through with it. The hotel visits happen when she pulls shit like accusing him of cheating instead of working.”
“If he knows she cheated, why doesn’t he just go through with it? Or end it?”
“Because he’s afraid to lose his kids. A few years ago she started accusing him and pretty much stopped sleeping with him.”
“That’s what you meant earlier about projecting?”
She nodded. “I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t want to realize that Carm isn’t his either. Otherwise…”
“WHAT?” This was too fucking much information to handle at once.
“Eric, ignore the fact that Alc has uber genes and that Jackson is his father in miniature. Look at Carm. His mother is a blond with grey eyes. Where did Carm get brown hair and eyes? What’s more… Explain who he got dimples from when neither one of his parents have them. It’s more likely that I’m Carm’s father than Alcide.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t think of anything to say. This was huge and horrible. “Three and a half years and this has been going on and he let me think he was a shitheel. I felt like a lowlife for keeping his alibis. Why didn’t he say something?”
“If everyone knows that he’s staying at hotels because he’s miserable in his fucked up marriage it might make him look like a distracted weak link. If he loses her and the kids, all he’ll have left is the job so he can’t put himself in a position to lose respect. Plus… No one likes to be pitied.”
“FUCK ME!” I laid my head back on the seat. I couldn’t’ believe that I’d treated him like… I’d done the same thing to him that Amelia had. I accused him! I’d said it out loud like it was gospel.
Sookie might as well have been reading my mind. She scooted over and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. “Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it. You were just too close. When you said that shit about ‘all the other times’ at the station, he realized that he should have explained it to you. He didn’t realize that without the explanation you’d think he was a man whore. He figured you were just not comfortable being a busy body. Yesterday while you and Pam were working, he asked me out to the porch for a smoke and explained things. I told him I’d help him as much as I could, but I think its bullshit for him to want to be with her especially since she’s being a nasty cunt about it and hasn’t had the balls to fess up.”
“Sookie, I can’t believe this. I put her on a pedestal as soon as I met her just for being able to put up with him.”
“You got hung up on what you thought was insufferable behavior.”
“Every fucking time he’s called me to go out for drinks, dinner, anything… even the other night when he showed up at Tara’s party, I gave him shit. All I’ve done is rub his nose in the fact that his life sucks.”
“If it makes you feel better, he never gave it a second thought. He figured that you were giving him shit because you were busy. He told me that you always went anyway though.”
I let things sink in for a minute and then kissed her forehead. “Yeah. I think it does make me feel better.” I put the car in gear and started to merge back out onto the highway.
“Why did you tell me? Does he know you’re telling me?”
“I told you because it seemed like you were carrying a chip about it. And yes, I told him that I was going to fill you in. He was relieved that I wasn’t making him do it. Men are funny.”
“You don’t have anything else you want to drop on me do you?”
She snuggled under my arm and smiled up at me. “No baby. I’ll try to keep it light for the rest of the trip.”
The way she wrapped her arm around my ribs and laid her forehead against my neck made me feel better in spite of having a guilty knot in my stomach. I guess I HAD been too close to see the big picture. There really wasn’t a way for me to make it up to him other than not being such an asshole to him anymore. I’d thought that Sookie had tamed him, and it made me feel worse to know that he hadn’t been domesticated at all. The cantankerous asshole I saw everyday was just as much an act as Pam’s ‘mistress of the damned’ routine and Sookie had managed to get them out of costume within a day. I’d worked with them, seen them every day, and was only now catching on.
We must’ve gone another hundred miles in silence before I realized that Sookie had fallen asleep snuggled next to me. She was snoring, more like purring really. It only now occurred to me that I was seeing her sleep for the first time. I reached up and tilted the mirror to get a better look at her face. I thought she looked like an angel when I first laid eyes on her, but I had no idea. The corners of her mouth curled up slightly and her eyelashes were resting on her cheeks. I’d never seen anyone more beautiful.
I was still trying to figure out if she was perfect or just perfect for me. Not that it mattered. It was just something I’d been trying to put my finger on since I found out that we could mix up our iPods and not mind in the least. We had the same uncommon food quirks. We liked the same movies. We can even share war stories about an appearances driven popularity-whore parent and then lighten the mood with a fun anecdote of the other more ‘come as you are’ parent. I hadn’t ever met anyone that I had so much in common with. The fact that twelve years later she’s still driving her first car that just so happens to be a shit hot classic ready for shows and mine is a new carburetor away from the same… That’s kind of a fun coincidence.
My only real concern was that my father was going to notice the parallels and nag her about them, just like he did me. Sure, my inner voice says ‘fuck him’ and ‘it’s my life’, but part of my ‘inner tard’ still wanted the sanctimonious prick’s thumbs up.
I almost let us run out of gas between over analyzing life in general and ignoring the road in favor of a much better view, now curled up on the seat and using my leg as a pillow. The idea of pulling off the road and stopping, knowing that it would wake Sookie, was killing me.
When the car pulled to a stop, Sookie hugged my leg as she started to stir. “Why’d we stop?” She was groggy and sounded like a child.
I rubbed her shoulder and chuckled. “We’re on fumes and I could use some coffee.”
She sat up like a bolt, the look on her face: rueful. “Eric! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Are you alright? Do you want me to drive?”
“Shhh. I’m fine. I’m not even tired. Did you not sleep well last night?”
She smiled, slightly comforted, then gave me a kiss. “I didn’t sleep at all. Last night when you fell asleep, I got up.”
“Why? Something wrong?”
She raised her eyebrow at me and bit her lip. Hmmmm. “If you laugh, I’ll kick you… I was too excited to sleep.”
“Excited about what?”
“This. Moving you in.” When I started to smile her eyes narrowed. “I told you not to laugh.”
“Who’s laughing? It’s probably why I’m not tired yet.” I leaned over and kissed her back. “So do you always cook when you get anxious?”
She started to giggle. “Baking specifically. This morning I made 3 batches of cookies, a cobbler and 2 loaves of bread. Lafayette started it. He liked the quiet so I had to find something other than playing my guitar to calm me down.”
That’s when I started to chuckle. “But you’re excited, not worried, right?”
She smiled and scooted over to straddle my lap, putting her hands on my shoulders. “Not at all worried. Call me crazy, but I feel like a kid on the way to Disney World. Are we there yet?”
“We’re only about an hour away.”
She didn’t say anything. She pulled our mouths together and started a competition worthy kiss. This is exactly what I had in mind when I thought she’d be able to keep me up for the trip. She started moving on my lap and my hands found their way up her sides, pushing her shirt up along the way. She grabbed my hair and pulled my head back and started chewing her way down my neck. I put one hand to work opening her belt, then her pants. Mmm. Shit. She moaned against my throat when I reached in and started petting her. She shifted her weight and pulled me down on top of her… I fucking forgot where we were until I heard someone shout for me to put my hands up.
I froze, trying to replay the voice in my head. I was hoping to realize that it was Alcide playing a fucked up joke, but no such luck. The voice wasn’t familiar and the next time we heard it, Sookie started to snicker.
“Get off of the girl, sir, and put your hands where I can see them.” There was no play in the tone. Fuck.
I sat up and realized that there was a sheriff’s deputy at each side of the car drawn down on us and Sookie thought it was hilarious.
“Do you mind telling me what this is about?”
The deputy on the driver’s side, older, fatter and much, much uglier. “Step out of the vehicle.”
“I’d rather not.” I cleared my throat and shot my eyes over to Sookie. She eyed the bulge in my pants and caught another wave of laughter.
“Sir, if you don’t get out on your own, I will take you out.”
Sookie got up on her knees and bridged my lap to lean out the window. “Why are you harassing us?”
“Ma’am, are you alright? Are you being threatened in any way?”
“I was doing just fine until you boys decided to rain on our parade. What the hell do you want?”
“Ma’am, I’m going to need you to step out of the car too.”
She started growling obscenities at him as she climbed out over my lap and paid no attention to the gun that was aimed at her chest as she fastened her pants again. “Fine. I’m out. Now what the fuck?”
I climbed out behind her, my hands still up. Under my frustration, I was amused by how aggravated Sookie was. “Officers, what’s the problem?”
“This car was reported stolen this morning.”
Sookie’s mouth dropped open. “That’s funny. This is my car! No one else could have reported it stolen.”
She took her wallet out of her back pocket and flung it at him and told him that our guns and the registration were in the glove box. She threatened to strangle him with his own belt if he scratched her paint job with his ‘bat utility belt’ and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing.
He had the other deputy go to the car and get the registration and then go to their patrol car to confirm the information while he interrogated us.
He held my driver’s license in his Vienna sausage fingers and grumbled at me. “Mr. James Eric Northman the fourth, do you have any ideas as to why your companion’s car might have been reported stolen?”
Sookie started to giggle after hearing my full name and I elbowed her. She didn’t stop, making me chuckle. “I clocked her ex-husband last night. He lives next door and stalks her, so I figure he saw us leave this morning and thought of a way to jamb us up.”
“Have you ever been in any trouble before, Mr. Northman?”
I smiled at him. “No. Never.”
“An honest to god Saint? My, my, my.”
“Can I put my hands down now?”
“Yeah. Just keep ‘em where I can see ‘em.” Thank God. I was starting to feel like an idiot. “She has a Bon Temps address and you have a New Orleans address. What are you doing so far from home?”
None of your fucking business, PIGGLE! “We’re on our way to New Orleans for the day.”
“What’s that? Like 6 hours, one way? That’s a long way for a day trip.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “It’s 5 hours and we have a couple of quick errands to run.”
“What kind of errands?”
Oh. My. Fucking. Christ. In. Heaven! “I’m transferring to Shreveport from New Orleans and I’m going to get my affairs in order.”
“Shacking up with your girlfriend?” His tone was insulting. Troglodyte.
“Moving in with my fiancé.”
“You’re only an hour from New Orleans. Why did you stop?”
“Gas and COFFEE. That has got to be the stupidest fucking question you’ve asked so far. We stopped at the pump.”
The inbred fuck looked offended. “So your reason for stopping wasn’t to have sex in the open in broad daylight?”
“No. That was just a perk. I think we’re done.”
“Oh, I’ll tell you when we’re done, boy.”
I just looked at him and smiled.
“You don’t get it do you? I can jamb you up for days if you don’t cooperate.”
“I’ve obliged, but as soon as you confirm that she is the owner of the car, you can’t detain us.”
“Oh really sport? How about indecent exposure?”
I laughed at him. “To a passerby, we were doing nothing more than kissing. We were not exposed. Nice try though.”
He took a step towards me. A full foot shorter and still making an attempt to intimidate me. Laughable. “Look here you piss ant, you’re armed, in a stolen car diddling someone else’s wife. You could be in a world of trouble and need to show some respect.”
Sookie had been quietly amused by my back and forth with Roscoe P. Coaltrain. “Uh… excuse me. We’re lawfully armed and in an allegedly stolen vehicle, but… I’m not anyone’s wife, Buford T Justice. My divorce was final 2 years ago this month and I covered my bases to make sure God doesn’t even consider me married… FYI.” She giggled and it was pissing him off enough to go after her.
“Ma’am, are you under the influence?”
“Under the influence of what? I might have had too much sugar at breakfast, if that’s what you mean. I’m laughing because you have the social skills of a junk yard dog and look like Worf from Star Trek.”
It hurt to stifle my laughter down to a chuckle. “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to recite the alphabet.”
“In Klingon or English?” I thought I was going to die. She rolled her eyes at him and started… “Alpha, bravo, Charlie, delta, echo, foxtrot, golf, hotel, India, Juliet, kilo, lima, mike, November, Oscar, papa, Quebec, Romeo, sierra, tango, uniform, victor, whiskey, x-ray, Yankee, Zulu… Zulu, Yankee, x-ray, whiskey, victor, uniform, tango, sierra, Romeo, Quebec, papa, Oscar, November, mike, lima, kilo, Juliet, India, hotel, golf, foxtrot, echo, delta, Charlie, bravo, alpha!” She gave him a flippant curtsy.
It was all I could do to not bust out laughing. I grabbed her hand and gave it a slight squeeze. “You need to settle down.”
She smiled at me. “Yes, sir.” It was no small turn on that she ‘obeyed’ me.
The look on the deputy’s face was priceless and he took a deep breath to go off on a tear when the other deputy interrupted him by climbing out of the patrol car, lumbering over. He handed Sookie’s ID back to her and then took ‘Worf’ by the arm and turned their backs to us and started whispering back and forth. I looked over and winked at Sookie and she blew me a kiss. Mmmm.
When the deputies turned back around, Sookie and I greeted them with shit eating grins. Worf cleared his throat. “We’re uh… sorry for the mix up, Agent.” He handed my ID back to me and the other one handed our guns back to us.
Sookie didn’t even wait for them to start walking away before she stretched up to give me a kiss and declare that she was going to go get our coffee and I went to pump our gas as the two embarrassed goons waddled to their patrol car then drove away. I started laughing and shaking my head. There goes having an uneventful trip.
I was screwing on the gas cap when Sookie came out of the ‘GasMart’ giggling. “At least we have something to tell the grandkids.”
I smiled at her. “Is there a way to make that ‘G’ rated?”
“We should probably just say that you were checking my oil.” She gave me a wink.
We were barely back on the road when my phone started to vibrate.
I hit the speaker button so that Sookie could eavesdrop. “Hey Smom! How was church today?”
“Oh, you know, more of the same. Gossiping women reminding me of how not to act. How is my sweet boy?”
Sookie made an ‘awww’ face. “I’m great.”
“You’re not working today are you?”
“No ma’am. I’m actually on my way to pack up my apartment. I’m moving.”
“When did that happen?”
“Friday night. Alc and I have been transferred to the Shreveport office. Pam, Alcide and I are going to be the whole PTF there.”
“You sound happy about that. Do you have somewhere lined up or are you going to be staying at a hotel until you find a place?”
“I found a place. It’s in Bon Temps, out in the country.”
“Eric? You hate moving. What’s got you in such a good mood?”
“I’m moving in with someone.”
“Someone?… Are you seeing someone?”
“Yes ma’am. She even said she’d marry me.”
“Oh. My. Stars! ERIC! You’re engaged!?” I smiled at Sookie while we listened to Smom in the background waking up my father who’d more than likely fallen asleep during the pregame show for the Bears game. “Jim… Jim… wake up… Eric’s engaged…”
He grumbled himself awake and picked up the other handset. “To a woman?”
I gave Sookie an ‘I told you so’ look. “Yes sir. She’s a woman AND was born that way. Her name is Sookie.”
“How far along is she?”
Sookie covered her mouth to keep from being heard giggling. “She’s not pregnant.”
“When does her visa expire?”
It was getting hard for me to keep a straight face at this point. Smom was telling him to behave. “She is Louisiana born and bred, Dad. We’re shooting for a Christmas wedding and the only thing wrong with her is that she likes me.”
Sookie thudded me in the ribs, so I politely listed some of the attributes Sookie had mentioned earlier and he actually seemed to approve. “Is she with you? Can we speak to her?”
Before I had the chance to say anything, Sookie introduced herself. “I’m right here, sir. You’re on speaker phone so Eric can drive.”
“Ever been married? Have any kids?”
“I was married once. My mother handpicked him because he comes from old money and looked good on paper. We’ve been divorced for 2 years. I don’t have any children.”
“So you divorced him and took him for everything?” Sookie smiled at me and patted my leg when she saw my jaw clench.
“No sir. I put up with 4 years of being controlled and knocked around until I finally walked out. He sued me for alimony and I give it to him in nickels every month.”
“How did he get awarded alimony?”
“He decided to go into computer programming when the rest of the world did. Even a very talented freelance programmer doesn’t see much money until he has a client base. I supported him during his ‘start up’ years.”
“What’s your political affiliation?” I started to scowl again. Hard ass.
“Bi partisan, sir. No one remembers the spirit of true democracy anymore.” I laughed to myself. He picked a poli-sci magna cum to have a political tet a tet with. My father was fucked.
“While I support some of the new legislation for safety issues in the home, in regards to small children and trigger locks, I feel that gun control in a larger scope is bullshit. The new laws only make it harder for honest people to lawfully arm themselves against criminals who have no regard for any law.”
There was a short silence on the other end. “Huh… Abortion?”
“In a perfect world birth control would always work, but I find myself for it.”
“Why is that?”
“To be honest… Because it’s the rational end to an ugly cycle. An uninterested parent who shows no concern for their child’s upbringing, leaving them without the knowledge of how to prevent a pregnancy or the sense of responsibility to care for the unwanted child becomes the grandparent of the same kind of emotionally impotent child they dropped the ball for in the first place. Most of them end up on public assistance, draining the economy, widening the compass of morality until it caves in on itself and polluting the airwaves with shameless baby-daddy drama. You can poll any maximum security prison and find that an insignificant percentage of the population came from a home with two educated parents. There are of course exceptions, but by and large the statistics are there to support the societal need for it to be available. The bar is already set too low.”
Another silence, this one longer and I thought for a second that she’d lost him. “The war?”
“Could you be more specific? I’m not sure if you’re fishing for me to bash the hunt for WMDs or if you just want to know if I’m militant.”
He actually snorted into the phone. “Well, how DO you feel about the hunt for WMDs?”
She snickered. “It was all a bullshit PR smokescreen if you ask me…” Oh shit moment. This had the potential to become Chernobyl. I think I stopped breathing. “But I don’t think the public would have completely understood the need for the military presence required to knock a few off the most wanted list. If it wasn’t for the spin doctors scaring the public at first, the US never would have gotten its hands on the Hussein boys or pushed Bin Laden into hiding. As for poor Bush, that man had the potential to be one of the best presidents this country has ever seen, until he was force fed a Dagwood sized shit sandwich for breakfast on 9/11. There wasn’t any way for him to come back from cleaning up that mess. But, everyone likes to make him the whipping boy. I guess it’s easy to forget that if Clinton had bothered himself with his JOB after the Cole was bombed in Yemen, 3000 people might not have been martyrs for a noncause. But then again, civilians tend to ride the short bus when it comes to international political agendas and want to blame their own government for being petroleum whores. Since you asked me, hind sight being 20/20, the pentagon shat the bed on the war thing. The term ‘glass parking lot’ comes to mind and it should have happened on 9/12. The whole country was still angry enough to have declared it a holiday. The sin was in the hesitation.”
Fucking WOW! She’d rattled off her analysis like she had prepared it in advance. I was just as speechless as my parents. Sookie looked over at me and cringed, but I smiled to reassure her. I don’t know how much of that was her, but that was EXACTLY what my father wanted to hear.
I heard my father clear his throat and awkwardly grab for something to say. “Why do you know so much about politics?”
I took over. “She was a Poli Sci and History Major at Vanderbilt, Dad. She teaches government at the high school.”
“She’s pretty and smart?”
“She’s beautiful and brilliant.” Sookie actually looked flattered.
“Do we have to wait for the wedding to meet her?” WHAT? Oh. MY. God!
I had to reign myself in. I couldn’t believe that he actually seemed to like her. “Dad, I’m in the middle of a case at the moment. I can’t leave and she has school…”
“Oh, don’t be an idiot. I know you have important work to do.” My mouth fell open. He just acknowledged my job without a hint of sarcasm. I thought I might be having a stroke. “We’ll come to you. We don’t have anything better to do. How’s next weekend?”
Sookie reached over and lifted my chin closed and when I looked over at her she was smiling ear to ear. We shared looks back and forth for a moment, silently discussing before I rolled my eyes and relented. I couldn’t believe that I was about to do this. “Well, if you guys don’t mind that Alcide is staying with us and that Sookie has cheerleading obligations, we’d ‘love’ to have you.”
Stunned. My last 5 years on the east coast and every visit had been me going to them. I’ve gone to San Diego for Christmas and Smom’s birthday every year. I’ll admit that that they had bought tickets to come to my academy graduation and the only thing that kept them from coming was Smom’s gallbladder surgery. Completely forgivable… I was actually excited. Nervous enough to shit a diamond. But excited.
“This is great!” He was using a tone I rarely heard from him on a topic other than football. “Smom and I will look for a flight today… Out of curiosity, just because she’s not pregnant now… when are you planning on making us grandparents?”
Sookie slapped her hands over her mouth to hide her reaction to the look on my face. THIS WAS NOT THE MAN WHO RAISED ME! I heard Smom fuss at him not to rush us and then Sookie took over. “Mr. Northman, we’re not in any hurry. Right now we’re having a lot of fun practicing with Alcide’s boys. They’re a lot of fun to spoil.”
He actually chuckled. “I guess I can wait… Not too long though. I don’t want to be too old to enjoy them, eh?”
Sookie laughed back. “No sir, what would the fun be in that?”
He laughed again. “Son, when we come out, should we bring MeMe’s ring or have you already taken care of that?”
Shit. I hadn’t thought about my grandmother’s ring. I had planned on calling Lafayette or Jason and meeting one of them for lunch one day this week to get help. I’d forgotten that she’d left it to me. I wasn’t even looking at girls yet when she died though. It was a little unconventional, but Sookie would probably appreciate it. I looked over at her and I couldn’t read the look on her face. Brat. I was starting to realize that she ‘wiped’ her face like that on purpose. “Yeah Dad, that’d be great.”
She smirked at me as my dad continued ‘debriefing‘her. “So doll, are you any kind of cook? Your mother school you in the kitchen?”
“Sir, my mother can ruin instant oatmeal, but my father taught all of us our way around a kitchen.”
“Call me Dad…” One of Santa’s elves could have sucker punched me and I couldn’t have been more surprised. “What does your father do?”
She smiled over at me, still amused by my reactions. “Well, he runs his landscaping company full time, my aunt runs the Ford dealership they inherited from my Grampa and he’s co-owner of a bar. He has a few rental properties too, but my brother in law Sam handles those for him. He’s kind of a jack of all trades.”
“Well, I suppose I should leave us some stuff to talk about while we visit. Besides, we have plans to make and packing to do… Deb, you’ve been mighty quiet. You have anything you want to say?”
“No.” Her voice was shaky; she was crying. “I’m just so happy.” I nudged Sookie with my elbow and smiled. “I can’t wait to visit!”
“I can’t wait either, Smom.” She blubbered and sniffled and Sookie gave me another ‘awww’ smile.
My father was completely uncomfortable with tears and cleared his throat roughly. “We’re gonna get to work then. I’m happy for you, son. We’ll let you know about our flight soon.”
My breathing still hadn’t evened out when I hung up the phone and I sat without a word replaying the conversation in my head. He tried to get a rise out of her about her divorce and failed. If he’d been bothered by any of her political views, he’d have argued with her. He called her ‘doll’ instead of his usual pandering ‘baby cakes’ or ‘sweet cheeks’ and he told her to call him ‘dad’. Neither of Marnie’s husbands had been allowed to call him anything other than ‘Master Chief’ or ‘CMC’ since they were both enlisted. The current husband du jour has been around for a few years and still hadn’t been allowed to call him ‘Jim’. Amusing.
Sookie turned around in her seat to sit Indian style and lean back against the dashboard. “Ok, out with it… How’d I do?”
I started chuckling and shaking my head. “Sookie, I’d be surprised if HE doesn’t want to marry you. You were amazing.”
“Really? I think I’m gonna like him.”
“I don’t know if he’s mellowing in his old age or if you really can get along with anyone. He usually interrogates people like they’re prisoners of war, but he’s usually unimpressed with anyone. Marnie’s husband is TERRIFIED of him. He’s typically really cold to say the least.”
“Maybe he’s just happy that you’re shaping up to be exactly what he wanted you to be by accident. Accomplished, responsible and now you’re settling down.”
I scowled at her. “Shut up.”
She giggled at me. “Yes sir.” Ungh.
A few minutes later my phone went off again. I looked at the caller ID. FUCK. “Hello, Marnie. How are you?”
“I hear congratulations are in order, asshole.”
“Fuck you. I just told Dad that I’m pregnant and he didn’t say anything about it. He did tell me that you were taking your time and not planning kids yet.”
“Congrats. When are you due?”
“June. What the fuck is she like? Is she as disgustingly perfect as you?”
I looked over at Sookie and took her in. I knew what my jaded step sister meant. “Yes.”
“Oh! Well that’s just fucking great. I might as well stop calling them.”
“Way to make it all about you. Why can’t you just be happy for someone? They’re excited. Give them a break.”
“Fuck you. You’re constantly one upping me!”
“How so?” If that were true, Sookie would be my 3rd wife and I’d have a shitload of child support payments to make every month.
“Dad tells me all the time… ‘Eric never calls to borrow money’, ‘Eric knows how to keep his temper’, blah,blah,blah. When I called to tell them that I was getting married the first time, they told me you made Magna Cum something or other. When I called to tell them I was marrying Clancy, they told me that you’d made it onto some stupid Task Force. Every time I talk to them they brag about some dull shit you’ve done to show me up. You’re the fucking golden child and I’m sick of it! I just told our parents that they’re going to be grandparents and Dad tells me about how sweet and smart your girlfriend is and that they couldn’t talk for long because they were on their way to go shopping for new suitcases. FUCK YOU ERIC!”
Sookie stuck her tongue out and smiled while she bit the tip. It made me chuckle and shifted my train of thought. Suddenly I was thinking about all the things I would rather she was doing that tongue.
“I’m sorry you feel that way. Do you feel better now that you got that off your chest?”
“Didn’t I say fuck you?”
“I hate you.”
“Doesn’t that bother you?”
“Sure it does, but what can I do about it. You hate me for living my life. I haven’t ever competed with you. I just did what was expected of me. You have your own issues to work through. I can’t do anything to change that.”
“Bullshit! You’ve had it in for me since I got pregnant in high school!”
“Shit. Marnie, you’ve got to stop bringing that up. You make it all sound like its my fault that everyone thought you were fucking your own brother. Your problem, not mine.”
“Did you just say that where people could hear you?!”
“Just Sookie, you’ve been on speaker the whole time because I’m driving.”
“You FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! Now your little girlfriend…”
“WHATEVER! Now she thinks I’m a total bitch!”
“And? You already hate me. Why would you care if she thinks you’re a horrible person?”
“Because, I don’t need another Eric fan hating me! You know I got a letter this week from the reunion committee… From your ex girlfriend and she actually asked me not to RSVP!”
“You gave her best friend a black eye when she caught you blowing her boyfriend at her birthday party! You can’t expect her to want to see you!” Sookie slapped her hand over mouth again and started to turn red.
“I can expect her to get over it after 9 and a half years! But because you were Mr. Popular everyone shit on me! Mr. Straight As, Mr. Star Athlete, Mr. Fucking The Cheerleading Captain… Have you at least gotten fat?”
“I’ve gained 20 pounds, but at the gym, not on the couch.” I looked over at Sookie and puffed my cheeks out. Marnie was short and… rotund and increasingly bitter about it as time went on.
“What size is your ‘Sookie’?”
“2? She’s a tiny little thing I have to worry about breaking her. I bet she could still get into her pageant gowns.” Dig. A deep one. So much fucking fun.
“Great! So even your kids will look like super models and Mom and Dad will favor them to mine! I’m sure her best friends are perfect too. Perfect, perfect, PERFECT.” Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. Marnie suffered from middle child syndrome in the worse possible way and she was the oldest.
I started laughing at her. “Her friends ARE pretty hot.” I leaned over and whispered to Sookie. “Especially Lafayette.” She nearly cried trying not to laugh.
“If she’s so fucking perfect, then what the fuck is she still doing single?”
“Same reason as me.”
“Too fucking conceited to want to breed with inferior stock?”
“Too fucking smart to settle for a boring window licker.” Deep breaths… I looked over at Sookie who was now hugging her ribs and bent over in the seat, silently hysterical. “Look Marnie, I don’t want to do this with you. I’m in a great mood because I’m moving in with Sookie today. I’m really happy for you and Clancy though. What are you hoping for?”
“He wants a boy but it doesn’t matter to me… I’m still pissed at you. You perfect son of a bitch.”
“OK.” I had to try not to laugh, but it didn’t work.
“Did you tell your mother yet?” That fucking bitch. Why’d she have to bring her up?
“No. Why would I? I haven’t talked to her in 6 years.”
“Oh yeah! That reminds me that I hate you for bogarting my mother too.”
“Who wouldn’t? You know she’s awesome.”
“To you. She’s ashamed of ME.”
“Marnie… You’ve made your bed. Stop making all of your bad choices other people’s fault.”
“Fuck you.” The line went dead before I started laughing.
I slid my phone back in my pocket and looked over at Sookie. “I told you so.”
She finally broke her silence and crashed over in the seat clutching at her sides and laughing loudly. “Yes, you did. It must have been fun growing up with her!”
“Oh yeah! It was a blast.”
“So the two of you are like that movie, Twins? She’s the leftovers?”
I had to search my memory to pull up Schwarzenegger and DiVito playing twin brothers and then had to control my laughter to focus on the road. “I guess you could say that. My parents are both tall and blonde. Both of her parents are short, chunky brunettes. Smom is pretty but I remember Marnie’s father looking like a bloated Sicilian fish with bad skin.”
“That’s sad. What does Clancy look like?”
“Lurch. They look like a gothic number ten standing together.”
She started to laugh through her nose. “Eh, Maybe the two negatives will make a positive.”
“We can hope. But I can fake it. I believably told her that she looked beautiful on her wedding day … both times.”
“Hey! Watch it… I’m on my second turn too.”
I snorted. “A-not by choice. And B-Your second wedding won’t be to marry Lurch after cheating with him while ‘Fester’ was deployed.”
“Fair point… Your mother finally came up. Are you going to tell me that story?”
I growled, wishing that Marnie was within reach for a solid whack. “Smom and Dad got married when Marnie was almost 2. Right after they got married Smom answered the door while Dad was underway and a couple was standing there with me. My dad hooked up with her for a while right around the same time he started dating Smom. Her husband had been deployed for 7 months and came home to a wife, HIS 3 kids and a baby his wife never told him about. They wanted my father to sign adoption papers and Smom wouldn’t hear of it. I was about 4 months old.”
“So Smom took in her husband’s ‘bastard’ and loved you like her own and still calls you her ‘sweet boy’. I love her already.”
I smiled over at her. “Exactly.”
“And your mother?”
“Still married to the guy. I don’t know anything about my half brothers and sister. She sends me the occasional letter. Smom’s kept in touch with her over the years out of charity.”
“Did you have a falling out? You said you hadn’t talked in 6 years.”
“Sort of. She crashed my college graduation, insisted on taking me out to dinner and then acted like a fruit loop when I asked her about my siblings. I’d told her that I was just asking out of curiosity and that I didn’t want to stir the pot, but she flipped out and accused me of wanting to embarrass her and make her look like a whore to her kids. I told her not to worry about it and not to bother anymore because I had a mom. I know it hurt her, but Pearl Harbor is a small base; everyone knew each other. Smom walked around with another woman’s mistake for 2 years before we were transferred with her head held high and my mother couldn’t bring herself to tell me if I look like any of her other children or if I had anything in common with them.”
“Good for you.”
I looked over at her, trying to detect sarcasm. I’d been disappointed with myself for years over it and too proud to do anything. I half expected Sookie to suggest I make it right, but she looked like she was proud of me. “Good for me?”
“Hell yeah, good for you. You stood up for yourself, and Smom! Look, I know that this is going to sound selfish, but she didn’t have anything to offer you. She didn’t care for you when you were sick, pack your school lunches, volunteer as team mom to show you how much she cared. The only thing you asked of her, she denied you. Life isn’t a spectator sport, especially when it comes to children. It’s futile to love a person and not show it, and she chose not to. She could have easily told you that a brother was a star pitcher or that a sister was a Rembrandt, or that they were tall or blonde without risking a reveal, but she chose her shame over your curiosity. So again, GOOD FOR YOU.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Well then I guess it’s a good thing you found me. I’m good for nothing, if not perspective.”
I smiled at her underestimation of herself. “Are you sure you didn’t get sidetracked in the humanities department too? You’re too deep sometimes.”
“I dabbled. My department head loaned me out to a Prof whose TA went on ‘sabbatical’ midterm. Rehab… Anyway, I was TA for both of them.”
“Sookie, you don’t seem to be frustrated, but I can’t help but wonder why you’d be a high school teacher when you could be a Professor… I don’t know… I guess when I think about all that you are capable of, I can’t help but think you should feel stifled.”
She smiled at me and laid down with her head on my leg, looking up at me. “I’ve done enough to know what I like, I guess. I’ve also worn designer one-of-a-kind gowns, but I’m comfy in my dickies and Ts. I like my life. It’s comfortable and familiar. I’m a lucky bitch. Some people push and push and never find what makes them happy. Even if Gran hadn’t gotten sick, I’d have gone back. I love it there. I was happy at school too, but I missed home. Besides, if I was still geeking it out at college, I wouldn’t have been in the right place at the right time to meet you and that definitely sweetens the pot.”
“Hmmm, that reminds me. When I interview Victor Madden tomorrow, I need to thank him for being a dirt bag. He’s what put ME in the right place at the right time.”
“Naw, I think you should thank your partner for staying back. You wouldn’t have been flirting with me if he’d been with you.”
“I wasn’t flirting with you!”
“Oh yeah, you were! You licked your lips and cut those sexy baby blues of yours at me long before I hung up the phone. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you watched me eat that sucker until you HAD to turn around. Flirt.”
I started laughing. “You were flirting with me too!”
She giggled. “I know.”
“You bitch… I was in agony.”
She was still giggling. “And you still managed to remember your manners.”
I raised an eyebrow and looked down at her. “Manners, huh?”
“Oh yeah. The fact that you can still muster platitudes when fighting a massive hard on impresses me. It’s a good counter weight for me since I obviously lose some of my polish when I have to switch gears.”
“No shit! I thought I was going to have to bail you out earlier.”
She laughed and reached up to grab my hand and slid it down the front of her shirt. I smiled down at her. “What are you up to?”
“We never got to finish earlier and we have some time to kill.”
I groaned. “Sookie, I’m driving.”
“Fine. Suit yourself.”
I watched from the corner of my eye as she started slowly opening her belt then teasingly unzipped her pants. Sookie’s hand disappeared into her pants and I watched it move while her eyes locked on mine and she bit her bottom lip. I ran my thumb back and forth over her nipple and she let a slight moan. I growled at her. “Sookie, where is your sense of fairness?”
“It’s hiding. You’re welcome to look for it.” She squeaked when I pinched her nipple and then moved my hand over to play with the other one. I watched her hand pick up pace and my mouth suddenly went dry. Every bit of blood in my body seemed to settle in one place. Fuck! Watching her pet herself and taunt me made it impossible to get comfortable. She giggled through a moan when I shifted in an attempt to adjust and she reached behind her head to start stroking me.
“Sookie. You’re going to get us killed.”
She laughed and pulled herself further onto my lap. “Can you think of a better way to go?” She opened my belt so slowly it hurt. My pants were worse. She opened the zipper so slow that I could feel each tooth catch in the hasp and by the time it was open, there was no relief. I could feel my pulse in my fucking teeth. Her hand went around the base of my cock and gripped tight as she started to nibble the tip. I nearly ran off the road when she suddenly pushed herself down on me as far as she could go, shoving me into her throat. Ffffuck…
She’d contorted herself on the seat, one hand working between her legs and the other wrapped around my dick like her sweet mouth. My whole body ached as she smoothly took me in and pulsed her tongue pulling away. Sweet. Fucking. Jesus. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes focused. I wanted to fuck her so bad it hurt. I almost pulled over to the side of the road, but we were so close to New Orleans, the traffic had picked up. Shit.
She switched her pace back and forth between slow and smooth to fast and rough. She had me hanging on the edge for so long, I forgot my life before I met her. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy every bit of it. This was too much. My hand went to the back of her head as she pushed me closer and closer. She forced down on me again, staying down, taking me deeper and deeper. She moved her tongue in circles then back and forth and I couldn’t take it anymore. She gave a quiet hum, then another and that was it. I came harder than I could ever remember, I threw my head back and had to force my eyes to stay open and remind myself I was driving. Phenomenal. Fucking amazed.
She snickered when she sat up to whisper in my ear. “Are we dead yet?”
I turned my head just long enough to kiss her. “We have to be. I think I saw God.”