The Breakfast Club
The alarm woke me up… 6 am. FUCK. I was about to tell Sookie to turn it off when I realized that something was off…
Sookie had rolled over… using my arm as a pillow and my other arm was still around her… spooning… at least I didn’t have to go looking for her. That was a nice change.
The arm draped over my side is what concerned me. Whoever it was spooned in behind me, was keeping me from rolling over to identify… her… it was definitely a woman’s arm. Slender, delicate gold chain bracelet, manicured but short nails… so not Marnie or Smom… not that they’d climb into bed with us… weird.
Sookie’s hand shot out and turned off the alarm, then she rolled over and snuggled into my chest, mumbling… “I forgot to turn it off. Sorry.”
“Sookie? Whose arm is this?”
“Mine, silly.” Fuck… she’s still half asleep…
“Um… could one of you wake up enough to tell me who I’m in bed with?”
The body behind me stirred as Sookie’s eyes opened a little and she instantly uncurled her arm from her chest to put her hand on the phantom arm. “Frannie?”
Humming behind me… “Nnnghh. Yeah? Morning.” Frannie slid her arm down my stomach and propped herself up on her elbow.
Sookie braced herself up on her arm and they gave each other a kiss… Over me… Dear Penthouse…
“This is a surprise.”
“How so… you damn Stackhouses are persistent bitches. Daddy emailed me about visiting this weekend… You emailed me about a stay… Jas tried calling me yesterday… I’m surprised that you didn’t sick Had and Laf on me. The kids in Hulk’s room were kind of a turn off. I didn’t think you’d mind if I racked out with y’all. I was beat after the drive.”
“Daddy was inviting you because we’re having a thing. Eric’s people are in town… A meet and greet. I wanted a visit in general and Jas… he was just thinking about you.” Nicely put.
Frannie spooned in behind me again and used me to prop herself up… I could have complained, but… nah… I think I could be stripped of my manhood if I bitched about waking up between two beautiful women… pretty sure of it, in fact.
“So what kind of stuff are we doing today then?”
“I have breakfast with the squad… and Laf.” Frannie’s eyes lit up. “I need to make a bunch of desserts and then at 3 we’re going to Daddy’s for mucho food and after that we’re doing Dirges.”
“Laf. Food. Dirges. Check. Had going?”
“We need her to. We want to set her up with Hulk… Hey… You could help with that.”
“She’s being kinda… I don’t know… flirty/not flirty…”
“Think if I flirt with Mean Green, she’ll get territorial?”
“Maybe… you’d have to be sneaky though. Doing it around his kids would just make him angry.” OH FUCK! She’s good…
“Under the table lap rubbing. Check… Can we do Sookie and the Pussycats tonight?” Uh oh.
“Bravo will be there- he’s bringing out the brass… we could do the USO show AND have some Ska fun.” Hmmm. Dirges keeps sounding better and better.
“I didn’t bring anything pin-uppy. I’ll have to squeeze into something of yours.”
Sookie was giddy and gave her another kiss. “I’ve got plenty.”
“How does your boy respond to over stimulation?”
I huffed at her. “You know, I’m right here.”
She raised her eyebrow at me and licked her lips. “Oh, sweetie, I’m perfectly aware that you’re right here. I just wasn’t sure if you had anything going on above the waist at the moment.”
“I’m fine. You seem to be the one hung up.”
She smiled and started laughing. “I guess after waking up next to Laf last week, you’re getting used to strange bedfellows.” They let me roll onto my back and then snuggled back up into the crooks of my arms…
“I’ve woken up next to worse than Laf. Trust me.”
The two of them shared a look and turned on me in unison. “Oh! Do tell.”
I rolled my eyes at them. “College… party… drinking game… I woke up on the floor of my house curled up with a dirty, double-bagger pig named Callista. When I tried to get away, I rolled over and one of my slob roommates had been streaking and his naked ass was right in my face… and he farted… the only good thing about the situation was that her stretch pants were still exactly where God meant for them to be… Hiding her grannys.”
They both started laughing. Frannie gave me a look. “You… are an asshole. I thought you were a 10.”
“Oh really… What am I now?”
“12 at least… Sooks, where you been hiding him?”
Sookie giggled. “He gets sent to his room a lot.” She wiggled her eyebrows.
Fran laughed and pounded Sookie’s fist. “So you get this one… Had gets the Hulk… And y’all are pushing Jason at me like leftovers.”
“Oh what-fucking-ever! Nobody’s pushing anything. Fuck it. I’m done with y’alls drama.”
“What do you mean?”
“Y’all have made your point. I’m not getting into it anymore. I get it. You’re not into each other like that. Done.”
“What’s got your ass hat screwed on so tight? I was just joking.”
“Let’s just drop it. When I think of all the time y’all wasted with each other… Ugh.”
“It wasn’t all a waste. We have a lot of fun together… We just…” She looked down at me.
“Yup. I’m still here.”
They both dropped their heads to my chest and started laughing. When their breath hit my ribs, I made the mistake of jerking from the tickle… Big mistake.
They were wearing matching leers and starting to run their fingertips over my ribs and I thanked God when there was a knock on the door. I assumed it was Laf when I said ‘come in’… It was Hadley.
She giggled when she saw the three of us in the bed together. “Shit… if I had known there was a sleepover…” She toed off her shoes and climbed onto the bed behind Frannie and gave her a kiss. “Did I miss all the fun?”
Sookie giggled. “Dunno. I think there’s enough of us that we could overpower him.”
“Don’t even think about it… all your giggling would wake Jack and Carm.” And if all three of them were tickling me, I’d piss the bed. Plain and simple.
Frannie got an evil smirk on her face. “If the kids are up… then the Hulk would be left unguarded.”
Oh… the look on Hadley’s face… “I don’t think Jas would consider his friend an acceptable stand in, Fran. You might want to check that.”
“Eh, if Jason can’t decide to shit or get off the pot, that’s not my problem. I’m ‘going Green’. Have you checked out that guys eyes?… And he’s HUGE. Yummy.” She gave me and Sookie a wink and Hadley looked like she wanted to claw her eyes out.
“If you say so… Him and Jas are pretty friendly though.”
“Like Sookie said, Jas and I have played around long enough… the Hulk though, he’s just too tempting. Stacked high and… fuck! those arms… FUCKTASTIC kisser too.”
Oh hell… it looked like I was about to be caught in the middle of a fucking cat fight… and it didn’t help when Alc came to the door.
He knocked first and then stuck his head in. “Y’all are loud as fuck in here.”
Frannie did not miss a beat. “Hey there Green Giant. I was wondering when you’d join the mix.”
“I think I liked it better when you called me Hulk… I’m calling Jas to tell him your hogging all the women again, asshole.”
Sookie, Had and I all started laughing, but Frannie stayed in character. “Oh no you don’t. Come on in. Sookie and I were just about to convince Hadley to do Dirges tonight.” And because he had the ‘hook up Hunter plan’ to fulfill, he played right in to the hand.
He came in and sat on the edge of the bed, Frannie got up and went over, leaning into his lap like she was waiting to be fed grapes. And Sookie, Had and I scooted up to lean against the headboard… Had snuggling into my side.
Once everyone was comfortable, Alcide started working on Hadley to get her to go out tonight… ‘Because he wanted to dance’… Frannie declared that she’d dance with/for/on him as much as he wanted… Had stated plainly (too plainly) that she’d go too, just because it’d be fun to sing again…
I looked over at Had… “Not that I mind snuggling with you, but what brings you out here at 6:30?”
“Oh, Hunter slept over with Terrence last night. Something seemed fishy, so I wanted to make sure that he actually gets here with Terrence. I was going to help with baking as an excuse to be here.”
I chuckled at her. “I’d have been fucked if Smom was as quick as you. Who do you think he was with?”
“Take your pick. Ginny and Hannah were both acting shifty last night.”
Alc shook his head. “Hannah’s an angel… she wouldn’t… Ginny though… I’d put even money on… Has anybody made coffee or are we going to wait for Laf to brew another weak ass pot like he’s being rationed the beans?”
We all shook our heads.
Alc slapped Frannie’s ass… “Hey girl, let me up. Java’s calling.”
She rolled over “Don’t be so rough unless you plan on cuddling me after.” OH my.
He chuckled and walked out of the room having NO CLUE why she was hitting on him so hard. I was going to get dizzy by the end of the day. It was like I was caught in a handling tornado. Like a flirting roller derby .
Not a minute later… Lafayette walked in and it broke the Frannie/Hadley tension a bit.
Lafayette smiled and gave Had a kiss… then me… then Sookie… then curled up on the foot of the bed with Frannie and played with her hair while they all talked about the day ahead of them. When Alc came back, he couldn’t have looked more relieved that Frannie was otherwise occupied and sat down next to Hadley on the edge of the bed, putting his feet up.
We sat there, hanging out for a good while until someone else decided to join the party.
I didn’t even venture a guess. I just told whoever it was to come in.
“Deb’s in the hall…” That’s as far as he got before he realized that half of Louisiana was in bed with me. Everyone said good morning at the same time, bright smiles and all.
“Knock yourself out, Dad. This one’s vacant.”
The look on his face was the equivalent of the blue-screen-of-death. He’d completely locked up.
“Dad… this is Lafayette and Frannie. Sookie’s very good friends… 10 years now. We’re hanging out back here so that we don’t wake everyone up.”
He gave me a stiff nod and then walked into the bathroom like he was on auto pilot. We all started biting our lips so that we wouldn’t bust out. When he came out of the bathroom, he watched the floor carefully to avoid eye contact with ALL of us. Gone… without a word.
Had and Alcide shared his cup of coffee while we quietly joked about my poor father’s reaction to stumbling into a ‘swingers’ den’… Frannie and Lafayette started a tickling match that Frannie won… I’m sure those noises did nothing to clear the air for my father who was probably sitting at the table smoking and trying to figure out where he went wrong… Frannie decided to push Hadley’s buttons by stripping down to her bra and thong and trying on a couple of Sookie’s dresses that she knew would be too small in all the right places… Hadley sunk to her new all-time low by seeing and raising Frannie’s strip tease… by joining her and telling Frannie to stop stretching out Sookie’s clothes with her ‘fat ass’. Catty. Since Frannie was a couple of inches taller than Had and Sookie, but still very trim, she couldn’t have been more than ONE size larger. It was getting really hard to not laugh at them by the time ‘Lucky Number 7’ joined the nest.
I could hear monstrous footfalls approach the door and it almost felt like the scene in Jurassic Park with the cup of water on the dashboard. Thud. Thud. At least he knocked first… JB.
All three of the girls rushed him even though they weren’t dressed… Sookie was at least wearing a tank with her bikini panties. This guy was even bigger in person. He wrapped his arms around all three of them and picked them up in a bear hug. They giggled the whole time. He set Frannie and Had down and paid special attention to Sookie. And there it was… the reason she told me he’s gay. The way he hugged ‘his Cherry’ by herself would have spun me up to no end if I didn’t know… Since I hadn’t had the chance to say anything to Alc yet, he looked torqued enough for both of us.
JB carried Sookie over to her side of the bed while Frannie and Had settled down and got dressed again. He swatted at Laf’s ass and told him to make room. Sookie looked like a child sitting on his lap. Like a dixie cup and a big gulp.
He held his hand out to me. “You’re the fiancé, right? Eric.”
He nearly crushed my fucking hand and I don’t think he was trying.
Then Alc. “You’re the little girl that can’t hold her liquor? Alcide, right?”
Alc took his hand and was about to argue… when he was more than a little distracted by Had crawling over his lap/under his arm to take back ‘her place’ against my side.
“So who was the mute old guy with the cigarette?”
Sookie giggled. “That was Eric’s Dad. Someone was in the hall bath…”
“And he walked in on his son’s bi-jama party… fucking great!” We all got a laugh out of that… “So the kid sleeping on the couch… He’s yours? Sookie said they were little.” He pointed at Alc.
He started shaking his head and thumbed over his shoulder. “No, my kids are in bed.”
We shared a round of looks.
Sookie cocked her head over to look at him. “Describe him.”
“I dunno… tall enough to take up the whole couch. White, dark hair, makeup, hospital bracelet…” Sookie was off his lap and throwing her robe on before he could finish and I was right behind her.
When we rounded the corner to the living room, Sookie stopped dead in her tracks…
Rene was curled up in his clothes and he had a shiner that looked like raw meat covering one side of his face.
Sookie knelt on the floor next to him and put her hand on his head… “Sweetie, what happened?”
He jerked back, pulling his fist up defensively. The moment his brain registered that he was looking at Sookie, he dropped the posture. Poor fucking kid.
He sat up and cleared his throat… tried to rub his eyes and then realized that was a bad idea. “When I got home last night, the old man was half way through his second bottle so I took the distributor cap off his car before I went to bed… He woke me up to fight me for my keys. I called Kenya to let her know that he was out driving around and she came out and kidnapped me. Made me go to the hospital. I’m fine. It’s just a nasty bruise. They gave me some killer drugs though. Kenya wouldn’t let me go home alone so I had her drop me here. I’m sorry.”
Sookie didn’t move. She was on her knees next to the couch, holding his hands… I heard a sniffle. His eyes were locked on her face and he looked like pity was the last thing he wanted.
I started interviewing him. “Rene… did they ever track your father down?”
“Yeah… he ran my car into a ditch. He’s fine except for the broken nose he got from the steering wheel. He totaled my car though. Something tells me that my insurance company isn’t going to go for the ‘on the way back from feeding homeless children and swerved to miss a deer’ story.”
“What is Kenya doing?”
“Holding him for the DUI.”
“It’ll just piss him off.” Beautiful.
I walked to the bedroom to get my phone and was hit with a barrage of questions from everyone so I gave them a quick explanation and then dialed the police station.
“Bon Temps 9-1-1. What’s your emergency.”
“Hey Federale, how’s our lovechild doing?”
“He’ll live if he doesn’t die of embarrassment. Please tell me that your guest hasn’t had any accidents since he’s been in custody.”
“Oh, the poor bastard IS an unlucky sort. He’s managed to run into most every surface in the building.”
“Isn’t that a shame… How long are you expecting to tend to him?”
“This is his fourth DUI. He’s still waiting for his hearing for number 3. I’ll be seeing to him until he’s arraigned Monday AM at the county courthouse… he won’t be getting bail.”
“Thank you ma’am. You take good care of our friend, you hear.”
“Oh, you can be sure of it.”
Alc was waiting for info.
“It’s Daddy Dearest’s fourth DUI.”
“What are the odds he’s paid his rent for the next 5 years?”
“About as good as him getting a World’s-Greatest-Dad shot glass in June.”
“He can stay with me. We have an extra room.”
Had offered too. “I do too. He could have my office, I’ve only been in there to dust in months.”
“How about that! The kid finally has options.”
I sat down next to Rene and pulled Sookie up to sit in my lap, her face was completely soaked and she grabbed my hands like her life depended on it.
“I called Kenya.”
“So when will he be out?”
“He won’t be. It’s his fourth DUI. He’ll be held without bail. He’ll be away for a couple of years before he gets paroled.”
He looked panicked.
“Hold on. Don’t freak. Hadley and Alcide are both in the back… You have your pick of who you want to stay with.”
I nodded. “You could stay with Hadley and Hunter, Alc and his boys… or Sookie and me.” She gave my hand a tight squeeze.
Sookie sniffled and nodded. “Sweetie, you have to let someone help you. Please. I’d worry about you if you were on your own. 10 months, max.”
“I don’t need anyone to take care of me…”
I cut him off keeping my fingers crossed that I was playing the right card. “You’re right about that. You’ve already raised yourself. If you don’t hang your hat with one of us though, the stress of doing everything alone would eventually affect your grades. You could be proud and stay on your own because you’d be afraid of putting someone out or you could drive home every night and eat a hot meal and have a conversation with friends without worrying that you don’t have time to do schoolwork AND pay the bills.”
“What would everybody say though?”
“What the fuck is there to say? I can’t think of how anyone would see staying with us as anything but what it is… Same with Had and Alc.”
“What about the details?”
“Call the utilities and pretend to be your father to shut everything off and let the bank have the house. Have a yard sale and sell the furniture and whatnots to line your pockets so you can get a storage unit for the things you’re keeping and fix or replace your car… It would be a crime to write yourself a check and clean out Dad’s bank account FIRST THING Monday morning, so I couldn’t suggest that.” I gave him a wink to let him know THAT was exactly what he should do. “There aren’t really any other details.”
He stared at the corner of the coffee table for a long time. Sookie was holding my hands so tight that my fingertips were starting to tingle by the time he said anything. “Can I think about it for a while?”
I chuckled at him and started to get up. “Rene, my friend, you can do whatever the fuck you want. You’re grown. You want to stick around for breakfast with the family or sneak back to your house and avoid all the hubbub?”
“Could you give me a lift?”
I went to the kitchen and grabbed my keys from the hook while my father avoided eye contact with me.
Rene looked confused when I handed him the keys to my Bel Air. “There’s a huge family dinner at Corbett’s place at 3. You don’t have to have an answer by then, but you will need some good food and company.”
“You’re loaning me your car?”
I shrugged. “I trust you.”
The second that I turned around from closing the door behind Rene, Sookie hopped up and hugged me with her arms and legs. “Eric, I’ve offered to take him in before, but he’s never thought about it. Thank you.”
“He’s a smart kid, hon. He’ll be fine. We can still help him even if he doesn’t make it easy for us.” She squeezed me a little tighter.
I caught my father staring at me as I paced the foyer to give Sookie some time to calm down, but he was going to have to wait for the explanation. I carried Sookie back, straight to the bathroom and left her to collect herself.
I nudged JBs shoulder and told him to scoot over. He’d taken Sookie’s spot on the bed when someone fired up the TV to watch cartoons. The fucking clowns shushed me when I tried to bring them up to speed… I was told to wait for the commercials.
And I was in bed with a Super Bowl champion, a sniper, a doctor, a lawyer and an interior designer… When Smom came in.
She didn’t say anything before she started laughing. “Oooh… this explains why your Dad is acting funny. I thought yah might’ve had words, yah know.”
We all laughed and I introduced her. She even came in and sat on the edge of the bed and made small talk… because she’s cool like that.
When Sookie came out of the bathroom, looking much happier, she wedged between JB and me and nestled in under my arm.
“Yah know… Jim wouldn’t be in shock right now if yah hadn’t been sooo friendly with Jason last night… He probably thinks that Sookie is your ‘beard’ and you and Alcide are the real couple.” Ok. Smom officially watches too damn much TV.
I nearly fell off the bed laughing along with most everybody else and Alcide pulled it together first. He faked a sob and wiped his eyes… “It’s such a relief to not have to keep it a secret anymore.”
Sookie was laughing so hard that her eyes had started to water. “I’m just the maid… You love the cock.”
Lafayette ran his finger down my shin. “Oh my! This is my lucky day.” So I blew him a kiss and we all started laughing again. Even Smom thought it was funny.
We’d managed to wake the kids up and they both came into the room rubbing their eyes… Alc lifted them up, Carm stayed on Had’s lap and Jack climbed over to start making eyes at Frannie. Alcide told him to watch out for JB’s knees because he didn’t ‘need the excuse’, so JB reached behind Had’s head and plucked the side of his head.
Frannie went back into character when she was introduced to the boys. “Mr. Jack… You are the handsomest 8 year old I have ever seen. You look just like your Daddy.” Hadley whispered something in Carm’s ear that made him and Alc both smile.
“Hunter says I have ‘mad skills’ too.” We all started snickering.
“Oh really? How many girlfriends do you have?”
“I’m not locked in.” More snickering.
“Which girl is your favorite?”
“Ummmm. Hannah. She doesn’t give me any trouble.”
“Sometimes trouble is fun.”
“Sometimes trouble is just trouble… I don’t need that.” That was it. Jack was better than TV. We lost it.
“So what does a gorgeous man like you look for in a girl?”
“I dig on cheerleaders… but you’re pretty… what are you?”
“I’m a doctor.”
“Huh… too bad.” He started to climb down.
“You’re leaving? I wanted to talk to you some more.”
He turned around in the doorway. “I like ‘em kinda dumb. Besides you’re being clingy.” And with that… he was gone and we were all DYING! Smom excitedly followed him, offering to help him find breakfast.
Alc and Had decided to go grab a cigarette and Frannie went out to her car to get her things, so with everyone else gone, JB put his giant hand on Sookie’s head and turned it to face him. “Who are you playing and how?”
She started to giggle and do a little happy dance between us. “All of them… Eric and Jas want to put Had and Alc together. Eric and me want to put Jas and Fran together. We’re playing them off of each other.”
Him and Lafayette both started laughing. “Ok, this shit is going to be fucking fun… who knows what?”
“Ok… Alc has been recruited to flirt with Fran to make Jas jealous so he’ll make a move. Fran has been recruited to push Had to flirt.”
“It could go wrong and he could end up wearing Frannie like a feedbag.”
“Nah. He digs on wholesome. Fran’s flirt is as subtle as a hand grenade. Had likes Alc, but is probably just thinking it’s too soon because he just split with his wife.”
“Would I be playing yenta if it was? Alc and Ame hated each other for a long time.”
“They go up the sidelines?”
He gave her a wide smile and reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone.
“Hey CJ… I’m in town… At Cherry’s… Mind if I come hang out with you?… Well, I was going to hang here until the party, but Laf is doing his thing with the cheerleaders… The mom seems nice but the dad still isn’t making eye contact with anyone. He walked in on the boyfriend and the new guy with the triplets and… I don’t know CJ, can’t get a straight answer out of anyone but they weren’t wearing any clothes when I got here and I’d make the Vay ya with Fran, but she’s all over that new guy’s dick like its honey dipped and rolled in cinnamon… That’d be cool. Thanks.”
He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. “He’s going to come over to keep me company after he cleans up.”
She grabbed his face and kissed him while she laughed.
“You can’t say you never taught me anything.”
Lafayette called us meddlesome bitches while Sookie changed into her yoga shorts and a snug tank top.
“Not really. You have been watching the soap opera between Jas and Frannie just as long as I have. I’m orchestrating an opportunity for him to put up or shut up.”
“You playing him. He’s gonna be pissed.”
“Only if it doesn’t work… Lafayette, he built a fucking house to live in with her. Every room has her favorite color in it and he sleeps in that fucking apartment over the garage like the 40-year-old-virgin because he says there’s no point in being ‘in that big ole house’ alone. For the record… periwinkle is a hard mother fucking color to find on a couch!… They’ve lied to each other about how many stand ins they’ve had so that the one doesn’t feel sorry for the other…”
“Wait… How many?”
“It’s easy to keep the lie up since there’s NO SHORTAGE of panties being tossed on their stages… Jason… in last couple of years… 3. Frannie on the other hand… she flirts her ass off and does the dancing as therapy because Jas is the only one she’s been with since that shit in Mexico.”
Laf started chuckling and shaking his head so I asked about the ‘shit in Mexico’.
The three of them snickered as Sookie started telling the story. “Cancun… Drinking… LOTS of tequila… Daddy is sick of their nonsense and printed off a goof wedding license. He waits for us all to pair off and sneaks into their room, dog-ears the paper a little and shoves it down into Jas’s wallet and puts rings on them while they are passed out. They wake up and think they are married for a day and a half… THEY ARE FINE WITH IT… Daddy tells them on the plane and they both act like someone shot Old Yeller right in front of them.”
“Nice… What did Frannie do to get Dad back?”
JB put his hand over Sookie’s mouth and held her back when she tried to explain. “DO NOT EVER piss off this family. Understand? They’re evil. Every damn one of them. Daddy sleeps nude… always has. We got just as trashed in St. John last year… Frannie stripped down and got in bed with him and waited… when he woke up with her… FUCK… She sold it too! She messed her hair, took one of her piercings out and put the hoop in the bed with him… She even ran to the bathroom and made herself sick like she was ashamed… She begged him not to tell Jason… CRYING… She acted funny around him… they sat a mile away from each other on the plane home… She let him think he’d fucked his son’s woman for two months… And Jas was in on it. CJ even helped it along afterwards… Confiding that she was acting ‘funny’ when they talked… THEN they gave him the ‘gotcha’.”
“FUCK! SOOKIE! You could’ve warned me!” I wasn’t angry… just… stunned at how deep these people could dig in. It was kind of impressive.
JB laughed, still holding her. “I’ve got her if you want a free shot.”
“Thanks but after the advisory I just got… I have to remember that she knows where I sleep.”
“Eric! Don’t you act like you didn’t know we scheme… we have three set ups going and you’re in on two of them… You and Alc have been fucking with each other all week so much that you don’t want to shower without me. And did we forget about taking popcorn over to watch Bill get abused and poisoned before you had him beamed up by the men in black!?”
That caught JB’s attention… When she was done telling him about Bill’s undoing… I had a new pal… and the hug he gave me made me wonder why I ever thought I needed to be gentle with Sookie. That fucker nearly crushed me being friendly.
When we walked into the kitchen… the table and all free counter space was full… Standing room only.
Sookie swatted Frannie off the counter so that she could start cooking, so she sat on Alc’s lap. “Hey Had… I’m thinking that I might be in the market for a table with a leaf in it.”
Had grinned and pulled out her phone. “Black, white, blond, red, medium or dark… low or bistro?”
“Low… and do we have red wood?”
“Yes ma’am. Extra set of chairs?”
After a quick nod, and waiting for one from me, Hadley was on the back porch and talking to someone at the store. Alc joked that we should be in the market for a bigger bed too because his ass was sliding off the side. Earning me another dirty look from Dad…
When Had wasn’t looking, Sookie went over and whispered something in Alc’s ear. He started to chuckle and she slapped him 5 on her way out to the porch. She came back with 3 very large casserole dishes and started sliding them into the oven.
“Sookie, when did you put those together?”
She closed the oven and leaned against it, rolling her eyes around playfully. “I don’t remember.”
“After I fell asleep?”
“You were warned.”
The look. That was it. She didn’t say anything. Just the look. Sexy, daring me, threatening me. Ungh.
When Marnie came in, she got a ‘Cheers’ good morning… A collective ‘MARNIE!’… Another first… smiling THAT wide in the morning was new for her. She was introduced to Lafayette, JB and Frannie (questioningly eyeballing Frannie for sitting on Alc’s lap) and then opting for small talk with JB and getting a crick in her neck doing it.
“You know, it broke my dad’s heart when you left the Packers.” Dad heard her and turned to give her a dirty look. Wow. He was like a pez dispenser of snarling.
He chuckled (it sounded like a fucking earthquake). “I’m too bayou to be that far north. So when Dallas made their offer, I was packing before the ink was dry.”
She snorted. “You still have family in the area?”
He nodded. “My mom and my sister. They wouldn’t move with me so I bought a house in town and had Sookie con them into staying there to take care of it for me.”
She smiled in Sookie’s direction. “Sookie should be in sales.”
JB leaned over a bit. “She is… it’s just more of a hobby for her.”
She smiled at his answer.
When Jason came in, he stood in the doorway wide eyed while he did the mental roll call… He went right over to Frannie where she was still squirming on Alc’s lap and bent to give her a kiss… She looked like she wanted him to kiss her more than anything… And at the last minute the goofy mother fucker changed direction and kissed Alcide instead and then nudged Frannie off his lap to take her place claiming that he saw Alc first… The surprise was that Alc seemed happier to have Jas there than Frannie.
The smug and amused look on Hadley’s face wasn’t lost on me… Busted. And when I winked at her, she blushed.
Jason looked over at me. “Y’all better have something shiny for Pam when you get to the house.”
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“She woke up by being pounded into the mattress by ALL four horsemen. She’s wearing the sandiest tampon ever after getting interrogated NUDE.” The word ‘tampon’ made my father cringe and shoot me another glare.
Alc and I started laughing. “ALL FOUR OF THEM?”
He was chuckling. “Unc got into town late last night and bunked with me… Bravo went and fetched Terry and at zero-five-hundred-hours they began their tactical strike on the new girl. I heard her shrieking like she was being killed from my room.”
“Like a bitching or like…?”
“They were tickling her for being uncooperative.”
“Fucking Stackhouses… I woke up to Sookie, Had and Fran threatening the same thing.” While the girls laughed, Jason gave me a dirty look and then shot it over to Fran.
Alc added with a laugh… “They got me while you and Sookie were in the front.” Oh… wow… they tend to be possessive, this family. Another dirty look for Frannie. She was really racking them up.
Frannie ignored him. “Alcide, you need to watch it. We still have plenty of energy for a rematch.”
Even though he was more or less turned off by her flirtatious campaign, he was still ready to go through with his end. He reached over and grabbed her arm, pulling her down until her face was close to his. “Sweetness, if you think you have a chance at winning that game fairly, then we have ourselves a game of one on one. Otherwise, save that pretty mouth of yours for something more useful.” OH! Holy shit! Nice! I wasn’t the only one to think so either, JB and Lafayette were doing their best to not fall over laughing too.
Sookie and I watched the look on Jason’s face go sour when Alc let her arm go and she stayed still, eying Alc with a predatory look on her face. So she tried to break it up. “Well then boys, I guess it’s a good thing that Special Agent in Charge Ravenscroft’s team had a clerical tutor last night. Maybe all those pretty paperclips will bring her mood up.”
Fran gave up the stare and went back to her spot against the wall so Alc took the bait… “More than likely… She was pitching a tent last night over all the… contributions… She’ll know you’re behind it though. We’d never have shown that much interest in organizing.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. She’ll just be happy that she doesn’t have to do it… And she’ll throb that much harder when you get more at Dirges tonight.”
And there was another dirty look from my father.
Sookie realized that she’d forgotten to refill ‘the drawer’ last night and asked me to do it while she finished breakfast so they’d be there because the kids wouldn’t ask. It seems that some of her students are more bashful than others and tend to stash their condoms like they were carrying hard drugs… I remember those days. As instructed, I took the ribbons out of their boxes and separated them into smaller strips…
When I got to the porch and opened the drawer, there wasn’t a single rubber in it… only envelopes… There must’ve been 50 of them and there were several that felt like they had more than one card inside. I laughed to myself as I scooped them out and dumped the rubbers in…
Curiosity took me out to the mailbox to see if anyone had left some there… As it turns out… They had put them in the drawer because the mailbox was full… Jackpot.
I tossed the stack on the table in front of Alcide and he reached past Jason and started flipping through them. “Where the fuck did you find these?!”
“Sookie sent me out to fill the happy drawer… so I checked the mailbox… both of them were full.”
“Think I should check my mailbox?”
“No less than 70 students were at your house yesterday… And your address was posted with the COP signup sheet…”
“I guess it’s a good thing that the boss was being anal last night.”
She snorted. “You know it wasn’t that bad.”
“You were mean… And handled us again.” Dirty look from Dad.
“Uh-huh… we were all tired… and we got through it. Grunting and moaning and crying… It got done. Now that you know what you’re doing y’all can get it all rubbed out in no time.” She looked up at me. “Were there any favors left?”
I shook my head. “Not a one… and the cabinet is empty now too. The drawer is stuffed though.”
“Well, let’s hope it gets them through the night… I’ll clear the drug store out in the morning.”
JB started laughing… “Cherry! Are you still vulcanizing Northern Louisiana?”
“Yes sir I am. I had 2 girls get knocked up on my watch last year.. opposed to the 20 that were showing when I started.”
“You gonna get that golden ZERO this year?”
She reached up and rapped on the cabinet door. “So far so good. Every year I buy less car seats and hand out more scholarships. I am A-O-K with that.” She was met with a unified ‘Amen’ from a majority of the room.
JB looked over at Jason… “Hey CJ… Wanna be my boyfriend?”
“I thought you’d never ask… What d’ya have in mind?”
“Having some fun with the pharmacist… to help the cause.”
He gave JB a flirty smile. “Can we get some flavored ones?”
“Only if you promise not to taste them in the store… AGAIN.” Goofy fucker. I could absolutely picture him opening condoms in the store and tasting them… My future brother-in-law is a cartoon.
Sookie was laughing along with everyone else (except my father) when she announced that breakfast was finally ready and the women were nearly knocked over when the guys rushed over to get their plates… Sookie had made breakfast pot pie again and let everyone pile their own plates so that she could slide fried eggs on top. Mmmm… The best part.
Even with the piano bench and two desk chairs, there wasn’t room for everyone to sit and eat. Smom and Marnie shared the piano bench, Frannie sat on Alc’s lap again, Had sat on JB’s lap and they whispered back and forth. From the counter, I watched Alc put on a dirty look from time to time while he watched her giggle into JB’s neck and Jas watched Frannie try to keep her end of the game going with an unblinking, humorless stare.
Frannie’s hand was in Alc’s lap, doing god knows what… but when he wasn’t watching Had, he was twitching and fidgeting under her. Hilarious. And JB was helping… He tickled her from time to time and at one point grabbed her hips and slid her across his lap to sit on his other leg, giving a grunt. She knew it was because she had been sitting on his bad knee so she reached down and rubbed it. OH my god! This was the best show I’d ever seen.
It was getting hard to not laugh, so I searched the room for something to distract myself…
There is no way to describe how thankful I was when Hadley and Sookie started talking about which desserts were getting made. Pies and cakes… JB gave Had a tickle on her neck and asked if she’d make ‘grasshoppers’ and ‘s’mores’ and she replied by telling him she’d do anything he asked. Alc’s reaction made me question telling him that JB is gay. With him being ‘in play’ this scheme was getting really interesting.
When Hunter walked in, he was followed by Terrence. They stopped dead in their tracks. Hunter looked a little surprised to see Had there, but was more happy to see JB than anything. Had got out of the way so the two of them could hug… FUCKING BEAR HUG… they took turns lifting each other off the floor! Hunter… picked up the guy that nearly crushed me… WOW. Hunter made his way over to Alc and gave Frannie a peck on the cheek with a confused look on his face, trying to figure out why Frannie was with Alcide…
Sookie started frying more eggs to feed the boys while Terrence stared at JB, slack jawed so Hunter gave the explanation. He included the ‘JB and my Dad were best friends’, ‘my godfather has 2 super bowl rings’ AND the ‘Sookie dated JB’ parts, making the poor boy do a double take between JB and Sookie. When he asked no one in particular why they broke up, Sookie explained by pretending to look a little sad and saying ‘geography’.
JB and Jason left to terrorize the little old lady behind the pharmacy counter when the cheerleaders started arriving. Hunter and Terrence moved the old table outside when they were done eating to make room for the new one that was due any minute and Had and Sookie pulled muffins, pastries, juices and waters out of the pantry and set it all out on the counter when they were done cleaning up after breakfast.
Sookie met her squad in the yard… Hunter took the boys to the music room and Marnie went to watch them… All the while, Frannie stayed put on Alcide’s lap. She ran her fingertip along his jaw. She suggested that he let his hair grow out because it wasn’t long enough for a ‘good pull’… She suggested that they find someplace quiet to talk.
When I turned around, he had picked her up and was carrying her to the back of the house. Had jumped when she heard the door close behind them.
After about half an hour of listening to Frannie grunt and moan and whine… The bed scooting around on the floor… She said his name over and over… He said things like ‘if the bed gets broken, Sookie will kill us both’ and ‘you asked for it’ and I even heard him tell her that she could ‘do that’ as hard as she wanted and it wasn’t going to break. I’m sure Hadley heard it all too…
My father was no more amused than Hadley was and the kids were thankfully playing way too loud to hear any of it… Jason and JB walked into the house laughing and smiling. That is… until Jason heard Frannie grunt and whine, “ALCIDE! Pleeeeease.” The smile was gone in an instant.
I figured it had gone on long enough. I got up and went back, knocking on the door and announcing myself.
Frannie made things worse by answering back, “Eric! Help me.”
When I walked into the room, Frannie had been handcuffed to the footboard. Her hair was all over the place and she’d smeared her makeup…
Alc was sitting against the headboard on the other side of the bed. His ear buds were in and his laptop was open. He smiled when he noticed me, pulling out his ear buds. “HEY! You want a turn?” He went right back to typing.
I had to force down the urge to laugh when I heard Jason start cussing and griping on the other side of the wall.
“Eric… He handcuffed me.”
“I see that. Are we having fun?”
“He’s having a blast! It’s too tight and it hurts.”
“It wasn’t that tight at first. She did that to herself.” He tossed his keys to me so I freed her. I expected her to storm out of the room in a tizzy.
She went over to him and pulled her hand back to slap him, but without looking up he grabbed her wrist before the blow was delivered. “Frannie, you need to dial it back.”
“Dial what back?”
“Whatever little game you’re playing. It’s disrespectful. My children and Eric’s parents don’t need to see that shit… When you walk out of here, make sure you apologize to the Northmans. Got it.” Sniper calm. Severe. But composed.
She stared at him for a minute before she nodded and he let her go and she sat down on the bed. “What are you doing?”
“I’m ordering a ball gag for you for Christmas.” She started laughing. “I’m looking up something case related… Alcohol related teen deaths in northern Louisiana.”
That brought me back from the twisted plots going on right under this roof… “Find anything?”
“I found 4 in the last couple years. I figured since we were swimming in the shit today anyway, we might as well cross reference.”
“So what do you have?”
“Just one that looks right. Parents went out of town and their kid had a huge party. Alcohol poisoning death in the bathroom that no one noticed until another kid got drunk enough to collapse. Another kid found the dead one when they were looking for the first aid kit. Bossier City. The article listed Detective Luna Garza. I just emailed her.”
Frannie got up and went to leave in a huff. “You boys work too much.” She stopped in the open doorway. “I have makeup to cover that hickey in my bag.” Then she shut the door behind her.
Alc looked confused and started shaking his head so I pulled the neck of my shirt out to show him the bite Sookie’d given me.
“Which one of them gave that to you?”
I rolled my eyes at him for thinking he had to ask. “Sookie. Yesterday. Frannie just saw it this morning. I guess she figured it’d irk Jason.”
“I almost feel bad. Sookie asked me to help make Jason want to do something…”
“And Frannie’s doing it for you?”
“There’s that, but… If I saw my woman all over some guy right in front of me, it’d just turn me the fuck off.”
“Me too. I think she’s going overboard.”
He snorted. “She doesn’t flirt… She takes hostages.”
I started laughing. “Have you met Jason though?! That asshole hasn’t got many boundaries… That’s probably why Sookie thinks something so drastic needs to be done.”
“JASON? Sookie’s a little short on boundaries too. I walked in on you with all three of them and she didn’t seem the least bit uncomfortable. And what the fuck was that shit when JB walked in? All three of them were in lace and underwire and you just sat there like a window-licking retard while he called her ‘his cherry’ and practically made out with her.”
I shrugged. “Cherry was her nickname in high school. He still calls Jas ‘CJ’ too.”
He passed the laptop over and stared at me, pissed that I glossed over what he thought was the more important part of his comment.
“You really do have sexy eyes. I’d fuck you.”
He started laughing. “Dick.”
“JB. No one knows. Sookie told me to tell you because he doesn’t have any tells and she didn’t want you to think they’re still hung up on each other.”
“But they dated.”
“In high school and since Bill. Still gay.”
He locked up.
I laughed at him and slapped his leg… Groan… Work…
By the time we had all of our office supplies together and made our way to the front of the house, Sookie had let the squad take a break so the house was infested with teens. The stairs were congested with girls trying to flirt with Hunter (and the boys) and the kitchen was teeming. Alc and I decided to work in the living room while Smom and Dad tried to watch a movie.
“I’m sorry about all the noise. Do you want to watch this in our room?”
Smom looked fine with the idea, but I got another dirty look from my dad. “No. Thanks. How the hell are you thinking that you can get any work done?”
Shrugging, “It’s just filing. Concentration isn’t really necessary and the kids all know that we’re collecting these so we don’t have to worry about secrecy.”
“What is it?”
“Alc and I stumbled over a guy doing fake IDs while we were looking for a killer. The kids have been bringing us their fakes as evidence.”
“All of those envelopes? That’s what’s in them? Why would they give them to YOU?”
I shrugged. “Because we asked. We told them that they wouldn’t get into any trouble. The forger takes priority over porn and cigarettes.”
Terrence yelled from the kitchen… “Because they’re the coolest fucking cops since Super Troopers! That’s fucking why!”
Alc yelled back. “Hey! We’re trying to work. Settle down, meow!” They all thought he was hilarious.
My Dad- less amused. And I’m not even sure if seeing the movie would have helped him enjoy the joke.
She’d been right… about the organizing being easier now that we had a handle on it… Damn her smart, sexy, Always right ass.
We were more than half done entering the new arrivals when Sookie came up behind me and sat on the back of my chair. “Don’t hit me.”
“What? Why would I…?” When I turned around, she was holding another stack of envelopes and a FedEx package.
I smiled up at her as she put them in my hands. “The loose ones were left in the visitors’ locker rooms after the game.” She leaned over and kissed me.
“Thank you… Where did everyone go?”
“Uh… Hadley ran to the store to get our baking needs. Marnie and JB are watching the boys play. I don’t know what the hell got into Jason, but he nearly jerked Frannie’s arm out of the socket and took her off behind the house.” Oh shit.
Alc put on his angry face. “He wouldn’t hurt her, right?”
“No, of course not. Why?”
“She was being pretty vocal about…” He almost blushed while he was trying to sugarcoat things around my parents. “…being restrained.”
Sookie started laughing. “You cuffed her to the bed?”
She eyed him for just a moment. “You screwed the pooch, pal!”
“What?” Panic stricken.
“She storm out or slap you?”
“She tried to slap me.”
Sookie started walking away shaking her head. “What do you think a girl with a god complex does for balance?”
She started cackling. “And you didn’t even let her slap you to take ‘it’ back.”
Before anyone had the chance to say anything else, Sookie had yelled up the stairs that the break was over and the house emptied out (for the most part).
Alc had thrown himself back on the couch with his hands on his head.
“Eric? What the…?”
I put my finger in the air. “Give me a minute. I’m busy picturing something.” Sookie… Frannie… leather restraints… definitely better than jell-o.
He started laughing and kicked my leg, knowing that I was enjoying a ‘double feature’. “You asshole.”
“What? They offered.” They didn’t, but it was fun to fuck with him. I gave him a shit eating grin. “Had has the same timing you do.”
“I’m putting in for a transfer. I fucking hate you.”
Ha- mother fucking- ha!
After just another hour, we managed to be done. Alc opted to go upstairs to watch the boys play. Dad opted to watch TV- he was still stewing about something. Smom was interested in practice… Once a booster, always a booster.
Before I took my seat on the porch, I went to Sookie and explained that I had planted a seed with Alc as a joke.
She giggled but… “Your timing sucks. A threesome would be a big snag in our plot. We’ll see.” Holy shit! Was that an offer?
“Nonono… I meant… Hmmmm. Wait. You…” Trying to focus. She must’ve been fucking with my head. “I just thought it would be a fun side joke. Things are getting a little tense with the set ups. How was Had when she left?”
“Oh well, a girl can try…” She winked at me. Ungh. She was definitely fucking with me. “Had seemed a little, you could say… blue.”
“Frannie was overkill. Her being a submissive would have been a very helpful fact for him to have.”
Her up-to-something smirk. Ooff. “It would have been if it were true.”
Shaking her head, “No, but you’re right about the intensity… When Fran came out, I told her that Had wasn’t buying it because she could tell Alc was annoyed. That she needed to 180 things.”
I stared at her for a moment and almost got hard over Sookie’s handling skills. “So now Frannie’s tactics will get to Had more because she’ll notice the apple pie flirting even if Alc wouldn’t… BUT Frannie’s change in demeanor will fuck with the old man because he’ll think she’s cowing for her new Dom.”
She gave me a wink and clicked her tongue. “Bingo.”
I laughed and gave her neck a kiss on my way to join Smom on the swing. I wanted lessons. Sookie was exceptionally good at maneuvering.
Smom REALLY enjoyed all of the excitement around the house and by the time Hadley was back from shopping, I’d had the chance to explain more about the case (but not too much), caught her up on Alc’s situation because she’d always asked after him and explained the Olympic caliper handling techniques Sookie and her family possess so that as things happened around her today she’d be in on our fun. She seemed giddy with the idea of more intrigue… And again, told me how happy she was for me and Sookie.
I helped Hadley bring in the groceries and while she was unpacking, I thought I’d ease Had’s mood. Anyone would have been able to pick up on her ‘subtle’ tells of frustration… She’s a ‘slammer/banger’. It sounded more like a demolition crew was at work than eggs and flour being put away.
“How much have you been told?”
She looked a little confused by the question. “About?”
“Alc? How much has he mentioned? How much has Sookie told you? I know you like him.”
Her mouth fell open while she stared, debating on whether to deny it. Finally… “Sookie said he had it rough and he put up with a lot from his ex. He doesn’t talk about it.”
“I have to admit… after the first couple of run ins you had with each other…”
I smiled. “What changed your mind?”
“Hunter told me that he read him the riot act after he went and got him that night. Called him a ‘selfish little prick’. Asked him if it made him feel good to know how helpless and scared I was, waiting to hear from him. How many horrible scenarios run through the mind…” She shrugged. “I figured he couldn’t be all bad. He’s actually really nice.”
She’d been cagey, pacing and being hyper in general so I went over to her while she was unloading a bag and put my hands on the counter on either side of her, leaning into her ear. “He’s running a game. Sookie and I have him working Frannie so Jason will finally do something.”
She gasped, but other than that she was motionless. “All that noise in the bedroom?”
“Frannie got a little carried away so he handcuffed her to the bed and then went to work on his laptop.”
She snickered and turned to face me. “Y’all are horrible. Why tell me?”
“Because I don’t want you to think he’s a dog… Because he likes you too.”
The corner of her mouth quirked slightly before SHE locked down. “What makes you think that?”
I chuckled. She wasn’t going to make this easy. “Did you not see the look on his face when JB moved you across his lap this morning?… Frannie’s hand was on his dick, and he was still preoccupied with what YOU were doing.”
She couldn’t hide this smile.
Work taken care of… even if ‘done’ was a frighteningly temporary term…
New table delivered. Without the leaf in it, it didn’t take up much more room than the old one and it had 8 comfortable chairs…
Practice over… any and all teens had taken off to spend their Saturday afternoon terrorizing the malls…
Jack and Carm… finally tuckered out enough to lay down and watch a movie and excited that Hunter would be taking care of them tonight…
Us men were hired on as ‘quality control’ while Sookie, Smom, Marnie and Hadley spent 2 hours in the kitchen baking and making grasshoppers and s’mores (which turned out to be truffle/bon bon type things). I thought they were good, but Alc and JB acted like they were going to eat them all or die trying.
Frannie was visibly upset when she came back in (alone) and plopped on my lap, leaning back against my chest. I hugged my arms around her ribs and whispered into her ear, asking if she needed anything and all she did was shake her head slightly. Somehow, I’d been designated the hug dispensary… And when Dad came in for a smoke, we got another dirty look and I was getting pretty fucking sick of them so I shot one back to him. Everyone else in the room understood that it was just a hug… INCLUDING SOOKIE. Since her fucking opinion was the only one I cared for on the subject, fuck him.
It was pretty damn ridiculous that MARNIE was behaving better than him. He was being sullen and distant and making other people feel uncomfortable.
Since we needed to ‘get a move on’, most everyone went to separate corners to get ready for the party.
I quietly closed the door behind us, taking a step towards Sookie I took ahold of the hem of her shirt. She looked down at my hand. “Excuse me?” That smirk. Ungh.
“It’s the first time all day that we’ve been alone.”Fuck. pleasepleaseplease.
“We need to leave soon and we both need a shower.”
I pulled her shirt over her head, tossing it and pulling her to me. “Lift your leg…” When she did, I pulled her shoe off. “You do pride yourself on your ability to multitask. Lift the other one.” Then the other shoe hit the floor.
She stared up at me. “The house is full of people.”
I let her go. “They aren’t invited. Turn around.”
She didn’t even pause, she just turned around. NO small turn on…
I slipped my fingers into the top of her shorts and started sliding them down her legs, tickling her along the way… Watching the goose bumps appear…
I was resting on one knee when I started sliding my hand up the inside of her leg. I relaxed my hand in that delicious gap between her thighs just long enough that she whimpered. “If you want me to stop, just say so.”
Nothing. Nothing but a ragged breath.
I spent a while just drifting my fingertips back and forth along her lips… all the while I listened to her breathing picking up more and more…
When I started rubbing her clit, she started squirming and looking for something to do with her hands… something to hold onto… humming…
She managed to stay quiet the first time she came… I think she was expecting me to let up and when I didn’t… that’s when she started begging…
Like she did last night in the hall. Panting and whining… my name mixed with her pleas… Standing in the middle of our room… behind a locked door… Nothing to hold onto…
She soaked my hand as I worked her over and over. The time between each orgasm getting shorter and shorter for her… easier to get from her…
Until I couldn’t wait anymore…
I set her in the tub while I yanked my clothes off, jumping in after her. I pinned her to the wall to enjoy the most perfect tits ever, taking a nipple… as much as I could into my mouth and then dragging my teeth away slowly. She followed a yelp with a loud groan and let go of my hair just to slam her fists into the tiles behind her.
Lifting her to hips to mine and lining her up, Sookie’s nails dug into my shoulders as my cock grazed her clit. One smooth push was all I had for control… a smooth push became rough shoving as Sookie wrapped an arm behind my neck and breathed into my ear between gasps and bites.
We groaned and growled at each other… I slammed her small body into the tile wall over and over… and over and over…
Sookie was nearly bawling when she buried her face under my chin… Her breathing gave me a shudder that I felt everywhere… And I started pounding into her harder…
When I came I caved into her, leaning into her while I caught my breath… And then the water ran cold hitting Sookie and I from the waist down like icy darts.
“I’ll kill that son of a bitch… I swear to GOD! AS SOON as him and Hadley start fucking…”
Sookie was staring up at me while I set her down, giggling.. “Eric… he didn’t do that, you did. Look at your watch.”
We’d run out of hot water on our own AND now we only had half an hour left to get ready. I smiled at her when she tensed from backing under the frigid water. “You win. I’ll order a bigger hot water heater.”
“What are you smiling about? Just say ‘I told you so’.”
“Oh my! You’re pretty cranky for a guy that just got laid. I wasn’t going to say ‘told you so’. THAT was my ‘I know something you don’t know’ smile.”
I laughed. “Fine. Hit me with it.”
“I would have won that one anyway… The hot water heater we have now wouldn’t have filled our new tub.” She was racing through washing. It was almost comical.
“Yes sir. The look on your face when you asked about the tub… brought many a graphic bathtub scene to my mind. I needed to make sure they were possible…” She slid by me and I barely moved.
“I don’t want to. It’s cold.”
She giggle at me and called me a baby. She told me to be a man and gave me a little push. I stared down at her, waiting to see how mean she’d be… “Or you could chicken out and go to a family gathering smelling like an hour worth of our cum and sweat.”
“Get out… I don’t want you to see me cry.” I winced and backed under the water and for the whole two fucking minutes I washed, Sookie snickered from the other side of the shower curtain at my whining while she blew her hair dry…
I almost griped at her when I got out… but then she hit me with a blast of hot air from the dryer and I forgave her for getting such a laugh out of me. When she dried my hair for me, running her hands through it like she had during my haircut… I decided I could forgive her for anything.
I had just pulled my jeans up when there was a knock on the door. Sookie was still in a towel, but she made sure I was decent before she called out ‘come in’. Cute. It was Alcide.
He stepped in and then shut the door behind him when he saw that Sookie wasn’t dressed.
He was NOT wearing his happy face. “Your old man… euphoric… He used the hall bathroom while y’all were in the shower… Made a few nasty remarks about everyone having sex with everyone.”
“Nice. He’s been shooting daggers at people since the game last night.”
“I think you should break the news to him. He’ll be disappointed at first, but it’s probably time you tell him that you’re not a virgin anymore.”
Sookie and I both laughed. “I almost feel vindicated… I warned Sookie that he was a jerk and then once she started talking to him, it’s Saint Jim: Patron Saint of Fatherhood.”
Sookie had been flitting around the room, artfully dressing without revealing anything and shoving things into a garment bag. “Eric, he’ll be better by the end of the day tomorrow. He’s still keeping his manners.”
“What do you think tomorrow will do?”
“Tomorrow will be calmer… When we had our talk, he started picturing Me and You in a house not unlike this one… Alone. Planning a traditional wedding ceremony. Deciding on green or yellow in the nursery and starting a retirement portfolio for when we stop teaching and apprehending… A week later, he shows up and has a shock over Marnie, gets hard seeing me in my uniform, gets a briefing on our unconventional wedding plans, finds out that our great grandchildren will be fighting over the estate, wakes up to 4 strangers in his son’s bed and one on the couch, followed by answering the door for a Pro-Bowl MVP, a band upstairs, a pep rally in the yard, standing room only breakfast… That’s a lot of ‘didn’t see that coming’. Give him time to equalize.”
“He got hard? How do you know? He was around the back of the table.”
She rolled her eyes at me and grabbed her barbells out of her jewelry box to go put them in. She started to giggle. “Ok… A) Way to focus, champ!… B)You both rock once when you settle into a seat. You both play with the label on the neck of a beer bottle and leave the other one alone. You have a lot of the same mannerisms. And you have the same… tell. It’s easier for me to spot them because y’all look so much alike.” Oh no. Fucking EW! Nauseated, completely.
Alc started laughing.
She came out of the bathroom and gave him a very serious look. “And you’re going to stop laughing before we start talking about your tells.”
She raised her eyebrow at him… and he walked out. Gone.
I moored up to her, hugging her ribs. “I’m probably going to regret this, but… how long you’ve known mine?”
She started laughing and turned around, stretching up to kiss my neck. “Oh, I saw your tell before you distracted yourself with the bucket of candy. You, my dear, are a very easy read.”
Still hopeful that something would turn the day around for Frannie’s mood, Sookie packed outfits for all of the triplets, Alc and I and loaded them into the back of Alcide’s truck with her guitars. And Hadley supervised the transfer of the desserts to the back of Rotten.
Frannie insisted on taking her car so that she could leave if she needed to and JB rode with her so that she wouldn’t be alone. The rest of us piled into the Trooper and Rotten and left the house after several more dirty looks from my father. It was easy to ignore them… focusing on Smom and Marnie’s excitement was far more fun. Yes, I did say ‘Marnie’s excitement’.